To ask why the Brits hate apartment-living?

[PaulaLollie]

Hi all, I have been living in the UK for a few years, but I am originally from Europe and I have lived in multiple countries before moving to the UK.

I have never understood why the Brits seem to be so into living in a house vs. living in an apartment.

Where I come from, the wealthy live in huge, renovated, fancy apartments in nice historical buildings, right in the city centre. That is "the dream" for most, if you see what I mean.

In my home country, living in a house most of the times means living in the countryside/ suburbs, which is not what most people aspire to do, if they have the means to live in the city centre. The concept of having a family = living in a house does not really exist.

For example, I come from a comfortable family background, went to private school, and grew up in an apartment. Nearly all my childhood friends did the same. It never crossed my mind that growing up in an apartment was anything less than ideal.

Here in the UK (as widely shown here on Mumsnet) it sounds like the dream is living in a house, while living in an apartment is really not that great if you have an alternative.

Please, British mumsnetters, can you shed some light on this aspect of the British society? I genuinely just don't get it!

Thank you!

i live in an apartment but because its social housing and was built in the 70s its really big the living room is 7 meters long so lots of room. I live with my husband and two children and 1 dog, 3 cats some fish and an axolotl . I LOVE it !!! I have lived in big houses small houses and for some reason I really like it here in my little apartment. Because they were built to be apartments then the sound proofing is amazing they cant hear us we cant hear them unless all the windows are open. plus I have the best neighbours and I think that makes all the difference.

The two toddlers upstairs have been bought a xylophone.

I think one of the main reasons is that with a house (most of them) you own the land as well as the building. Also gardens are important to a lot of people.

Of course anyone with any common sense will choose a house with garden and without neighbours above, bellow and either side.

There must be an awful lot of people with no ' common sense' in the world then.

I lived in a beautiful, huge apartment with a large balcony in central Milan for a year. It was perfect for that time of our lives... no children, professionals etc. I also lived in a smaller but still beautiful apartment in Madrid, and a tiny apartment in Paris (as a student). Loved them all, at the time. Now we have a dog and 2 children (expecting a third) our 4 bed house with large garden, garage, loft and drive for 4 cars is perfect.
Surely it entirely depends on your lifestyle?

Polar, tell us more about the ghosts, please!!

I once stayed in a flat in West Berlin. It was beautiful and nothing like the studio flat above a betting shop I was living in at home.
This was many years ago and I now have a good sized detached in a quite road with all I could need within a 5 mile radius.
I like the space, large garden with greenhouse and sheds, large drive and garage you can fit your average sized car in.

I have done my time living with other people’s noise, comunial bins and stairwells.
As to high rise flats I don’t think it is healthy to live in boxes in the sky.
You need to be able to breath fresh air sometimes so living on the 20th floor of a high rise in London where the windows don’t even open would be my idea of hell.

Where I live, the beautiful old historical buildings were bought by people who sadly turned them into run down bedsits. It's made some absolutely beautiful streets right in the city centre really quite undesirable places to live. In recent years some of them have been smartened up and targeted at a young professional market but these still tend to be shared houses rather than self contained apartments. I wish new life would be breathed into those buildings.

I live in a city centre flat and love it. Location is the most important thing for me and I’d much rather have a spacious flat in a good area close to the city centre then a big detached house in the suburbs. I can walk everywhere, buses and shops on my doorstep and the security of knowing other people are around. It’s a lively place and has a real buzz. I have a communal garden too. I felt depressed when I lived in the suburbs. My flat in town costs the same as the detached house I had. The only thing I miss is the free parking in a private drive. A house in town the size of my flat would be great but would cost over a million so flat in town is still preferable to a house out of town.

There are some lovely newly refurbed Office blocks into flats in our city centre and I'd love one (in theory!). But I would be worried about noisy neighbours - that you would hear them clomping around on wood floors, doors banging, or their music or tv blaring out. I need quiet! I can't get to sleep if there is any noise.

I've lived in some lovely apartments in London and in continental Europe. They were wonderful for stage in my life: centrally located, close to public transport, shops a few minutes walk away, but the apartment itself elevated above the bustle of the street.

But now I have young children and I really value my house and garden in the suburbs. I love that my children can play safely in my garden, accessed directly from the back door. They would spend much less time outside if they had to wait for me to be available to take them to the park. Then there is the question of pets, especially dogs. I know people do keep dogs in apartments but it sounds much more difficult if they must be accompanied outside every few hours to wee. Finally, I've developed a real interest in plants since I've had my own garden! There would be far less opportunity to indulge this if I only had access to a balcony.

I have done apartment living in the UK twice. Both times we had the neighbours from utter hell. Never, ever again.

My observation from having a good number of friends from other countries is that there is often a family home in the countryside or by the sea and they all decamp there for weekends and holidays. As time goes on presumably there's more and more family to fit in, I don't know how that works. It seems common to live in an apartment day-to-day and get away as often as possible. We don't generally do that.

Where I come from, the wealthy live in huge, renovated, fancy apartments in nice historical buildings, right in the city centre. That is "the dream" for most, if you see what I mean.

If you’re talking London, you’re looking at less than .001% (my guesstimate - perhaps add another zero) of the population so not realistic to aspire to.

I’m not from this country either and have lived in both an apartment and ‘detached’ home on the suburbs. Loved it both for different reasons. Different conveniences for different circumstances. Now that I have kids give me a house and garden anytime! (My aspiration is a detached home - uncommon even in the ‘suburbs’!)

I lived in a city flat for ten years and was very happy there. I had a beautiful view, lovely neighbours who were very quiet and a delightful roof terrace which I filled with plants. It was a happy time, but a part of me longed for a garden - soil and trees, and a compost heap; not just tiles and pots.

Now I have my garden, I am in it every day come rain or shine; I have slowworms in my compost heap and I sit outside feeding the hedgehogs on an evening, listening to owls hooting. Wild horses couldn’t drag me back to living in a flat, lovely as it was.

"I wonder if apartment living was more popular, that would help ease the housing crisis"

Of course it would. There's no need to wonder about it!

"plenty of flats in the UK have gardens/balconies/terraces."

It's not the norm, unfortunately.

I'm currently renting a 2bed flat for my son and me. This has happened now because I can't afford the rent on a 2 bed house

I miss my open space - being able to sit or even walk outside as well as being able to air my laundry on the clothes line.

My son is also restricted in terms of playing - in our garden he was safe to play without me, now he has to go to communal areas to play and he doesn't want mum around any more (tho not old/mature enough to go out on his own) so doesn't play outside unless he's with company

We don't have a lot of sun, compared to Europe. We appreciate our outdoor space, as we don't gain advantage from the indoor shade.

The culture is so completely different it doesn't compare! We live in a flat in Germany, but it's miles apart from any flat I've ever been in in the UK.

The rooms are lovely and large and light.
The sound insulation is good - we rarely ever hear our neighbours unless they're doing DIY. Occasionally the direct next door if they are arguing, but only from one bedroom. Never hear up/downstairs, so it's like being in a terraced house from that perspective.
There are also registered "quiet hours" during the day and all day on Sundays, during which you are not allowed to play loud music or do DIY.
The surrounding areas are protected meaning that we're not in the middle of a concrete jungle. Actually we're on the edge of a beautiful forest. When we open our windows we can hear the birds singing and the wind in the trees.
Balcony is big and safe. There are communal outside spaces, so if we want a BBQ or anything we can do that. There is a large room in the cellar where we can store bikes, children's toys and barbecues. It's generally trustworthy to leave things here and people rarely use locks. There's also a lockable individual section for any valuables.
The lift, fire alarms and lighting in communal areas are all well maintained.
Even though we rent, we're encouraged and allowed to do things like decorate and put up shelves and even change the light fitting and the whole kitchen if we want to. It's not like miserable UK landlords who expect you to ask permission before you put up a picture frame.
Excellent tenants' rights mean that we can essentially assume that we can stay here for as long as we want to.
Pets are no issue - plenty of people have pets and it just means with cats they have to be indoor only cats, with dogs it means you have to walk them rather than just letting them out but that's OK too - as it's good for the dog and the owner!

We would like to have a house at some point but we are more than happy where we are, and it doesn't feel like a compromise or lesser than a house. We'll move to a house when we're in a position to buy and properly invest in things like doing the bathrooms, carpets, stairs, garden the way that we want them. I don't personally need a garden, because I'm rubbish at maintaining things like that anyway, I know DH wishes we had a bit more outside space, and would probably enjoy pottering around gardening. For me I'm just happy to have nature so close without needing to do anything to it! The only thing is it would be good to have the space for plants AND table and chairs AND swinging bench/hammock AND a washing line - right now we've got plant pots and a table and chairs, and could probably fit one more thing but it will be a squeeze. DS wants to grow vegetables but we probably can't fit them on there.

MrsRamsay - I think that's an excellent point actually. Here in the summer it can be such a relief simply to come in out of the heat. That doesn't happen in the UK and when it's hot it's usually more relieving to be outside.

I couldn’t think of anything worse than living somewhere where it was dictated that I couldn’t make any noise at certain times as they were “quiet times”
If I want to cut my grass, use the garden shredder or put a shelf up None of which are unreasonable as long as I don’t want to do it it at silly o’clock in the morning I want to do it when is convenient for me not be dictated to by a bunch of rules.
Living in a flat no matter how nice you do have to think more of how your actions are going to impact on those sharing the space.
By choosing to live when I do I have enough space around me that is all mine that my actions don’t effect anyone else and my neighbors actions don’t effect me.

House every time and always in the country. I need to be surrounded by green and have peace and quiet and privacy. My garden is a joy, even if hard work. I love having the doors open to the outside and fresh air coming in. I lived in flats in London and hopefully will never have to live in a flat or city again.

Exactly. It was living in flats in London in my 20s that made me realise how much I wanted to live in a house in the countryside.

Thisisharderthaniexpected-Loving all the snobby replies from people that live in houses! Some people enjoy living in flats, and some live there because they don’t have a choice. Get off your high horses, you have a garden and a spare room, big deal!

True. Some people don't have a choice and can't afford to live in a house in the country. Their choice might be in a poorer area between a one up one down back to back terrace with no garden, a council house with a tiny garden or flat. A flat might be the best choice