AIBU to ask if you can swim, and if you can't, can your DC?

[AHedgehogCanNeverBeBuggered]

An acquaintance from toddler group has said that she can't swim, is afraid of water, and so won't be teaching her DC or taking them to lessons as she'd hate to be badgered to take them swimming. She's a LP and her DC's father isn't in the picture so he can't take them. Clearly it's very sad that she's scared of water, but I can't help but think that it's a bit crap not to ensure someone (i.e. a swimming teacher) teaches your DC a fundamental life skill that could save their life (not to mention give them enjoyment and enable them to take part in pool parties and the like when older).

When we learned at school I remember there only being 2 kids who couldn't swim, and they were incredibly embarrassed to be relegated to the baby pool whilst the rest of us swam in the main pool. I'd hate DS to go through that.

Obviously I'd never say anything to the other mum, it's none of my business what she chooses to teach or not teach her DC, but am I being unreasonable to think she's got this wrong and that everyone should make sure their DC can swim (bar those who can't due to SEN obviously).

And before anyone asks why I'm starting a thread about it despite it not being my business: this is AIBU. Most of it wouldn't exist were it not for us all silently judging random strangers!

I can't swim. Not really anyway, I don't think a few metres of separate doggy paddle counts!

I had lessons at school from about eight onwards and occasionally seemed to make progress but it didn't last. Like someone up thread said, I don't believe the water will hold me up so I tense up as soon as my feet leave the bottom and consequently am very unbuoyant. I just don't enjoy the water.

However I did take my DD to the pool when she was little. It was the small pool so I could keep my feet on the bottom. I also enrolled her in lessons when she was 4/5. She could already swim when they started lessons at school.

I do tend to agree with those who say the safety ide is over egged. Yes I know one could have a random accident like falling in a canal (though the canal near us is not that deep, yo could stand up in it. I know cause I once saw someone fall off their bike in to it and it was one of the funniest things I have ever seen) But accidents like that are rare and I would imagine it is swimmers who are more likely to be in a position where they get in to difficulties in the first place

Desperate doggy paddle

I think swimming is an important life skill. I can swim and 2 dc aged 2 and 4 both go to lessons. If she's afraid she doesn't want her daughter to have the same fears

I literally couldn't swim if my life depended on it, and it's a right pain so I'm doing my best to ensure my daughter learns. She's 11mo and has been having lessons since 6 months.

To be fair to this other Mum though, if she's actually afraid of getting in the pool then that's very difficult.

I was an open water lifeguard so have saved many lives by being able to swim.

Not all non-swimmers are so terrified of water that they stay away. I once rescued a lady who jumped into a signed 3m deep swimming area in a lake without being able to swim!

I’m not a confident swimmer, and hate being under the water. I was introduced late to the pool, around 8 years old before I went regularly as our school didn’t do lessons. I think swimming was an afterthought from my parents tbh! By that point lots of my peers were great swimmers. Anyway, that’s me.

I was determined to do better by my children. It’s an essential skill for life imo and they learnt from toddlers. I wish I’d have taken them to baby classes really. But now they are both exceptionally confident swimmers and both take twice weekly lessons still at 11 and 8 years old. My youngest is swimming for our local club and is looking set to compete soon. They would never have known this love of the water if I hadn’t enrolled them when they were little in classes. I think this mum is being incredibly short sighted.

The life skill aspect isn’t just about safety, which some posters seem desperate to be in denial about. It is also a social skill - what happens when there are pool birthday parties - the host won’t want to have to nanny non-swimmers when the others are all having fun splashing about , or when they are a little older and want to go on holiday with friends, or have the opportunity through youth groups etc to do various water sports like canoeing ? It’s very limiting to deny a child that sort of opportunity.

I can but don't because I have nearly drowned twice, on I slipped on the bottom of the pool the other was the pool was deeper than I expected and went too far down. I think all my DCs can swim I know DD takes the boys swimming