To be cross at DD’s nursery for covering her dress in paint that has stained?

[MedicinalGin]

My DD is 2 and obvs has had a great time painting something bright red as part of a guided activity- now her dress is completely wrecked, it’s covered in red paint and it looks awful! It’s not an especially special dress and I do want her to muck in and have fun, getting dirty if needs be. However, AIBU to expect that if staff anticipate that their activity involves lots of staining paint, to have put a pinny on her first?

Such a first world problem, I know. It’s just hard to not feel cross when I fork out 60 quid a day and now have to forfeit her clothing too, grr.

First rule of nursery- don't send them in clothes you would be annoyed about getting stained.

when our two were at nursery we sent them with clothes that didn't matter if they got filthy. used to love picking them up all grubby and happy after a fun day

My DD goes to nursery looking like a complete hobo in all her cousins' worn out stuff. Staff barely recognise her if we bump into them outside of nursery!

YABU. Kids get filthy at nursery. DD has a gift for it - she always looks like she's been tunnelling!

The thing with aprons is children put painty aprons on backwards, take them off and hold them against their clothes or pick up their painting once the apron is off, they drip paint down their sleeves, take the apron off and then wipe painty hands on their clothes...

I've never worked in a childcare setting that doesn't advise sending your child in clothes you don't mind getting messy.

And this is why most people have 'nursery' clothes and 'normal' clothes.

It is annoying. My child looks gorgeous out of nursery and everyone comments how lovely he is! That's because at nursery he's in crap t-shirts and joggers.

YABU. Buy a bundle off eBay. keep the nice dresses for home.

YANBU they should have made her wear an apron they can't keep letting clothes get destroyed as some people can't afford to buy new ones. I would ask them to discount the price for a bit for the next few sessions to compensate for the price of the dress

I’d love to live in your world where that’s a possibility @whiteradiator

I’m a childminder. As we walked into our group this morning, before I had even put down my bag, the 2 year old I look after had got to the paint and had it all over his hands and a bit on his t shirt. I couldn’t have stopped him or got to him any quicker than I did. It happens. I then put an apron on him and he decided within 15 seconds that he was done with painting, having done 2 tiny splotches on the paper. Hands washed, apron off. About 10 minutes later he did exactly the same thing again.

You can’t protect against stained clothes all the time, as hard as we try too. As others have said, get some cheap leggings and tops and alternate them for nursery. Far better than worrying about clothes becoming stained.

I would ask them to discount the price for a bit for the next few sessions to compensate for the price of the dress

Do you actually have kids White because while they might stop themselves laughing in your face if you requested that the conversation would certainly be very short.

I guarantee the nursery T&Cs state somewhere that they are responsible and recommend you send clothes you don’t mind wrecked. Ours certainly did.

I remember at school we were told to bring one of our dads shirts in.i had great pleasure in picking over his shirts and taking in the red and white striped one in.they were all thend kept on a big barrel for paint.

When I worked in a nursery we always put full long sleeved aprons on but, without fail, at least one child per group would shove there hands/paintbrush up or down the apron.

I mirror what people have said, you don't send your kids into nursery in their best clothes, you put old ones on that you don't mind getting stained, as they will be doing painting and messy activities.

Yes I do and this happened to one of my kids and the nursery agreed and said that the assistant who was supervising forgot to ask the children to put their aprons on before painting and this was the first week my daughter was there and she got covered in paint, granted it was old clothes but the nursery said we will discount the fee for the day so I got half price for that day. It didn’t happen with the others

Yabu - my DCs had a nursery ‘uniform’ (branded nursery t shirt and sweatshirt) so it didn’t matter if they got a bit of paint or pen etc on them as they were only worn for nursery. I know lots of other girls who wore naice clothes - pretty dresses, sandals etc - whether on their own insistence or because parents wanted them to look nice, but then couldn’t enjoy playing at the park, gardening, painting etc

Some people thought I was mean for introducing my DCs to uniform at such a young age, but it helped them know which were nursery days and which were Home days, and helped them feel like part of the gang when their clothes matched their friends and staff.

Ooh I learnt this the hard way with my PFB, I actually mentioned her dress being ruined

I now have 'nursery clothes'.

Kids get dirty, the best thing you can do is accept that fact and move on. My 10 yar old still comes home most days with mud down his trousers from playing football at playtime. Meh, he is a kid, him and his clothes can be washed.

You know what we as nursery workers loved? When fussy annoying parents came in with their kids in clothes they cared about and then had a go at us for their kid getting dirty. I mean, what do you expect. It's ridiculous and completely unreasonable to expect the nursery staff to run around after your kid because you can't put them in something appropriate. We have other children to look after, and their parents were smart enough to dress them in the right kind of clothing. We had a mum dress her kid in designer clothes and tell us she couldn't get dirty... hated that woman. Even with an apron, it's not a miracle piece of clothing! They have open sides and kids wipe their hands all down their clothes. Also, sometimes you're just not quick enough to get to the child to put an apron on before they start painting. Sh*t happens but this is something you should be prepared for.

Send mine in hand me downs and charity shop finds. Not at all precious about stains, can still be used for nursery where he can have loads of fun getting as messy as he wants there instead of at home

I'd say it's more a silly person's problem than a first world one to be honest.

YANBU if they are not using washable paint. I've had many years of sending DCs to nursery, plenty of paint etc on clothes but none of it tended to stain when washed. I'd certainly mention it to them and ask what the paint was. Having said that, I wouldn't send a child to nursery in something you really care about.

DD (2) once climbed into a tray of blue paint and permanently stained a pair of Clarks shoes. She regularly draws on herself. Her nursery clothes are secondhand/Primark now, and shoes come from Asda, and I'll send her in wearing stained but clean clothes IYSWIM. It's just easier that way.

In the documentation we got from our nursery at the start I remember it specifically saying that because of the nature of the activities that the children do at nursery (forest school, outdoor play, messy play, painting, glueing etc) it is best not to send your child in wearing their nicest clothes as they will get dirty and stained from time to time and it said they couldn't take responsibility for expensive items getting ruined and to bear that in mind when choosing clothing for nursery days. I thought it was fair enough really. I always try to send my son in wearing dark colours or the less expensive bits in his wardrobe and to be honest I think a child has had a good day if they are covered in mud/paint. Much better that than sitting in front of the TV getting no fresh air or new experiences but staying pristine.

@StormcloakNord
"FFS every night I have to wash her and sort her hair"

I bath my son every night anyway and wash his hair so it doesn't really bother me if he is muddy etc when I pick him up. Like I say, part of what I pay for is lots of outdoor play, experimentation, learning through crafting etc. If he came home looking immaculate, I would be suspicious about what they had been doing all day!

She might have refused to wear an apron.

Only send her to nursery in clothes that don't show stains or are already stained. Otherwise it's like sending her to messy play and complaining about the marks on her outfit!

We use aprons at my nursery, even with a dedicated person on craft you can't 100% guarantee they won't get paint on them, sometimes it's on their hands they take apron off and so gets on clothing, they brush past a picture, refuse to wear an apron and so on!

YABU in my opinion, there will be messy stuff going on at nursery - water play, foam play, sand, mud kitchen etc etc IMO it's to be expected! Although I understand how annoying it can be ( my middle son made the most of the mud kitchen in reception and despite wearing wellies he would still come out covered in mud and school uniform isn't cheap!) however I never minded because what was more important was the fact he was having fun in school and learning through play, which is always more fun with something sensory/hands on!