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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Am I supppsed to beg for forgiveness for something I did in my FUCKING SLEEP

85 replies

IHeartMaryLennox · 25/04/2018 22:57

I would like to know.

DP woke up in a foul mood with me this morning. As normal getting out of the house and on the early train to work on time takes a fair bit of mental gumption, I didn't bother asking why. Then I got to work and I was busy.

He responded to a fairly jolly text from me at lunchtime ('I need Nando's soon, I got a proper craving for it just now. Saturday? Everything alright, you've been quiet')

With: 'WELL I'm over it now but I wanted to kill you last night. Seriously. I was NOT happy this morning'

I was a bit Confused

I'm not in the sort of job where I can bat back and forward in text, so I left it. But I was wracking my brains and felt a bit shit.

It has transpired, since I got in from the hellish commute at 9:30pm, that in the night I unwittingly caused DP to have no bed space by cuddling up to him in my sleep. Apparently he asked me to move and I responded 'but I love being close to you'

This isn't even true, I don't much like being close to anybody Grin

I have no recollection of this event.

DP only got four hours of sleep and therefore had to cancel his five-aside-game Hmm

I said I was asleep and didn't know what I was doing and he shouldn't have sent such an aggressive message. He says I'm emotionally manipulating him into being the wronged party.

Do you apologise for things that you have no control over? In fact I might have done if he'd not been such a bloody arse about it.

He reckons KILL YOU is just a common turn of phrase and I'm ridiculous for taking offence.

OP posts:
Crunched · 25/04/2018 23:19

We can't have or bed up against x the wall because I end up pushing DH into the gap between the mates and the wall. He actually seems more charmed by it than anything.

Maybe make the mates sleep in the spare room Dairyisclosed Confused

DianaPrincessOfThemyscira · 25/04/2018 23:27

What a pass-ag idiot. Why didn't he just shove you over fgs?!

balsamicbarbara · 25/04/2018 23:28

He should have sorted out the bed situation at the time as he's a grown up. He can't cry foul the next day. So YANBU

ferntwist · 25/04/2018 23:30

Wow. Run for the hills. He’s not someone to base your future life around, sorry OP! I don’t even know where to begin with how ridiculous and over sensitive he sounds, as well as aggressive.

Jon66 · 25/04/2018 23:36

A while ago I had a dream/nightmare my partner was being foul to me. When I woke up I suggested he should apologise . . .

Katinkka · 25/04/2018 23:38

Separate bedrooms!

GabsAlot · 25/04/2018 23:39

what an overreaxtion to cuddling

tell him to sleep somewhere else and grow up

TeeniefaeTroon · 25/04/2018 23:40

Ooh, your husband would hate sleeping next to me 😂 I hallucinate in my sleep and frequently wake my DH up to inform him the ceiling is collapsing or one of our children is trapped under the bed. He just migrates to the spare room if I'm particularly bad 🙈

TheVanguardSix · 25/04/2018 23:42

I dreamt my partner had sex with my sister. He bought me flowers in RL to say sorry lol
Grin
That's the best!

OP, put him in a cot, stick a dummy in his mouth.

Weezol · 25/04/2018 23:43

He could have done what my X did once - get out of his side of the bed and get into your side.

Notanotheruser111 · 25/04/2018 23:43

Does he snore? Kicking in your sleep is a sign of sleep apnea, which won’t be doing his tiredness any favours

HabituallyOptimistic · 25/04/2018 23:45

If he was annoyed at you in his bed space why didn't he get up and get in your side of the bed?
Times like this I am so glad to be single

PercyPigAddict · 25/04/2018 23:45

He sounds a bit unhinged Shock I can understand being grumpy when you're sleep deprived, but

a) He could have shoved you over in the night
b) What you did in your sleep was actually quite sweet even if he did find it annoying
c) Even if he was grumpy in the morning he should have been completely over it by the time you texted during the day
d) The whole "I AM over it BUT (I'm really not and I'm going to stay angry....)" message is really passive aggressive.
e) Calling YOU manipulative is total rubbish

I say LTB.

Ariela · 25/04/2018 23:45

Leg spasms could be a magnesium shortage

Exhaustedly · 25/04/2018 23:46

He is not BU. I'm still cross with my DH for having an affair in my dream Grin

PhaedrasChocolate · 25/04/2018 23:46

A couple of nights ago I said to dp at 4am - if you don't stop snoring, I'm going to put a pillow over your face Blush He'd been waking me on and off all night and I was fuming. No excuse though, it was a tad aggressive... I did say sorry, but what you said was nothing like that.

starsandstuff · 25/04/2018 23:48

I wouldn't find the text aggressive, but he's still an arse for being cross about you CUDDLING him.

CollyWombles · 25/04/2018 23:50

It's a bit of a shit message as you couldn't help it, but people aren't known for reasonableness when they are tired!

My poor DH has to put up with me grinding my teeth in my sleep when stressed, night sweats where I am literally drenched thanks to meds I'm on, if he gets up in the night and goes to the toilet, most of the time when he comes back to bed, I freak out in my sleep, never remember it come the morning. I also have hypnagogic hallucinations and he has been woken up a good few times by me screaming the room down half asleep and half awake.

He still loves me and never makes me feel bad for it, bless him. I think if he did send me a text like your DH, I'd probably understand to be fair to him.

mirime · 25/04/2018 23:51

I do that to DH all the time, he's never reacted like that - though that might be because he hit me in the face in his sleep once, he is still mortified by it even though it was years ago and I've long since come round to seeing the funny side.

Weezol · 25/04/2018 23:51

I had a horrendous snorer of an XH - it took me a year or so to train him, but I could eventually get him to turn over on command while he was deeply asleep.

honeyroar · 25/04/2018 23:55

There's nothing like lack of sleep to turn people into grumpy irrational buggers - I'm long haul cabin crew, I know I have my moments after a night out of bed.

Lacucuracha · 26/04/2018 00:00

Well now you know what to do next time his leg spasm wakes you up - send him an arsey text! What's sauce for the goose, etc...

ReanimatedSGB · 26/04/2018 00:02

What's he generally like when you are both awake? Sleep-deprived grumpiness in a usually-nice partner is a different matter to living with someone who is constantly coming out with 'joke' threats if you cook the wrong meal, disagree, ask the partner to stop leaving empty mugs all over the house...

Wdigin2this · 26/04/2018 00:03

He's either a weirdo, or he wants out!

TheOriginalEmu · 26/04/2018 00:06

We can't have or bed up against x the wall because I end up pushing DH into the gap between the mates and the wall. He actually seems more charmed by it than anything

Maybe make the mates sleep in the spare room Dairyisclosed

this has made me HOWL with laughter, thank you that was the light relief I needed after reading the AE thread!
OP- I would say 'oh right, sorry about that' but i wouldn't actually be sorry....Grin

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