To think actually things do get easier?

[Bumpitybumper]

I always notice whenever I moan about my toddler's antics to parents of older children that they make sympathetic noises but caution that 'it doesn't get easier, just different'. AIBU to think actually it does get easier as children grow up?

I accept that each child is different and will have stages and ages that are more challenging than others, but surely generally older children (excluding teenagers) are easier to parent than toddlers? I also don't think a toddler compares to the life consuming early days of a newborn so can say that things have certainly got easier since those very early days.

YANBU I never understood that point of view. I appreciate it’s difficult for everyone but I had a difficult newborn who thankfully was eventually replaced by a reasonably behaved toddler.

I've got a 3 and a 5 year old and it's getting easier so far. My best mate has 18 year old twins and she yearns for the days of toddlers! But i think it's a different type of difficult - less physically exhausting but probably more worrying.

It does get easier. I have a 9yo dd and she is an absolute dream. She has her moments of course, but they are very few and far between. As they get older and more knowledgeable about the world, your relationship with them changes too. You can see the young people they are growing up to be.

Disclaimer - we only have the one!

Well it totally depends on your dc! They’re all so so different. There’s common themes etc but it’s just true that for some people it will get easier and for some harder.

My children are ten and eight. Sometimes it's hard but they are easy. What is hard is life in general, they have homework, parties, their own plans for socialisation, fallout with friends are more than "he stuck his tongue out at me". Butv the day to day stuff is a million times easier. 7 years ago id have been elbow deep in bathtime trying to get two small children undressed, cleaned, out, nappied, dressed... Now I'm mning while they shower and I vaguely shout helpful tips like "don't forget your towel".
I haven't wiped anyone else's bum in YEARS!

Fittontower I can see how the emotional demands of a older child/teenager could be difficult, but the sheer exhaustion of physically looking after babies and toddlers surely consumes more of their parents' lives? I think that's the thing that gets you the most about babies and toddlers. The relentlessness of it all.

Every stage has it's issues. When mine were teenagers, I never experienced any of the horrible behaviour some parents deal with, but there was still a considerable amount of worry and stress. They are becoming more and more independent, which is good, but you have to be concerned with what they're getting up to and you hope they are making good decisions. Trust me, the bigger they are, the bigger mistakes they can make.

But oh the endless uniform washing and kit sorting out. Gone are the days when we just needed seven sleep suits per week

All the posters saying it does get easier are definitely giving me hope

The physical care gets easier, the lack of sleep, but it just changes you become a taxi, the home work police, supporting through school.
I disnt realise how hard primary school years can be.
I’m dreading teenage years and would have my tickets back in an instant

Toddlers

YANBU. This used to really annoy me in the early days. DD was such a difficult baby and everyone just loved to tell me how it only gets harder. Helpful, not.

Now the same people say oh just wait until she starts school and is out the house for 6 hours a day, bring it on

The physical side eases, but as your children grow into young adults, they experience their fair share of the crappiness of life, and because it's happening to your child not to you, it hurts far more than when you were going through it yourself.

That said, nothing would make me take sole care of a small baby again.

I have a primary age child, a preschooler and a baby - the baby is by far the easiest.
18 months-3 is a particularly hard phase though.

It definitely has for me. Mine are 4 and 2 and are fairly reasonable now! They play together, generally do as they’re told...

The baby days were tough for us.

Of course it gets easier! I take nobody to the loo, I change no nappies, I don't go to sleep knowing I'll be up every two hours at least for the foreseeable future, i don't have to worry about anyone eating a button or sticking lego up their nose, I don't have to lug a pushchair and 3 sets of spare clothes every time I go out. Also, my kids are funny, thoughtful (mostly) and laugh at my jokes. I LOVE having older kids. The early years were cute but crucifying.
Disclaimer: no teenagers yet.

I struggled so much with the baby stage and had people tell me this, was the worst thing they could have said to me. Fortunately so far it hasn't been true. DS is now two and so much easier than when he was a baby, he sleeps for one thing

It definitely gets easier, at least so far... my DCs are 5 and 8, and the last year or so since the little one started school have been SO much easier. I really do worry about the teenage years though. The thought of letting them go off with other kids on their own terrifies me. I still remember those years and I do not want that for my DCs!

I’ve been wondering this and have heard similar from friends. I have an 11 month old and am 8 weeks pregnant with my second. I’ve found looking after a baby really hard, and obviously it’s about to get a lot harder with 2. It’s got to get easier than this. At the moment my son requires constant interaction and supervision and it’s exhausting. Surely it can’t be so intense once they are older and can entertain themselves for a while and you don’t have to constantly stop them injuring themselves (she says hopefully)

Lol, at the moment I have a friend with toddlers who I may just strangle if she doesn't stop implying that I have zero parenting responsibility because mine are no longer toddlers. It's arrogant and it's wrong. The challenges are different but they are very definitely still there and, tbf, those of us with older children have simply already climbed your hill. Every child is different, everybody's situation is different. It's not a competition.

It definitely gets easier.

And, OP, teenagers are surprisingly lovely!

It gets easier. I can list practical ways it very obviously gets easier.

They can make their own food
They can wipe their own arses
They don’t have a massive tantrum because you tried to stop them doing something dangerous
They can hold a full on conversation with you and learning about their little personality is just joyful.
They don’t fall over as often
They tell what the matter is
They can be trusted in the garden
They give back, basically

I haven’t had a teenager yet. I do have a big gap through, so I went from a very independent 7yo to having a baby again and realising very quickly how easy it had got

I only have experience of my one toddler DD but in my experience it's definitely got easier. She was a particularly troublesome newborn though. Horrid birth, silent reflux, hospital admissions, constant crying for a year, no sleep..... I could go on. She's an absolute dream as a toddler though, even with 1-2 tantrums a week. On her very worst day I'm nowhere near as stressed as I was when she was tiny.

Expecting number two now - I hope this one is a 'normal' newborn! I think I'm due one!

It gets so much easier . I hated toddler days, it’s so Neanderthal, just poo and eating and dressing and ...... the basics of life. And with the first, endless intensity, and the second tantrums. No peace, no space. Yuk.
It’s all been Uphill since then. I loved the summer I they were 7 and 9, independent eating dressing and toileting, they both took an intelligent passionate interest in things that caught their imaginations, they told me interesting things and were generally lovely. And it’s all been good since.
They are 11 and nearly 14 now, and I generally enjoy it.

'it doesn't get easier, just different'.

It is complete bullshit - Mine are 10, 9 and 4 and it's a fucking breeze now.