Scared of motorways and dual carriageways

[Upupupup]

I passed my driving test almost two years ago and got a car last year.

But I am still scared stiff when it comes to going on motorways! So I’ve avoided it.

In fact, I don’t like going anywhere I don’t know especially if it involves a drive over 15 miles. Dual carriageways and strange big roundabouts also cause me to panic. I feel I’ll never be over it, which really restricts me.

When I go somewhere new I look up the whole journey on google maps, and will take a longer way round using a sat nav if I don’t like the look of it. I also drive slower than the speed limit in areas I don’t know as I don’t know what’s around the corner. This makes drivers behind frustrated, hooting me and gesturing.

Anyone else feel like this?

if you're more comfortable driving a bit slower, just stay in the slow lane and let the other cars do the lane changing

There isn't a 'slow' lane on the motorway!
The limit is 70 mph in all lanes.

It's a limit, not a target.

Notso totally hear you and me too.

Dozer I had cbt after dds accident but wasn’t helpful. Maybe actual practical instruction would help although feeling anxious even writing that. so glad you got help

There isn't a 'slow' lane on the motorway!
The limit is 70 mph in all lanes.

Well yeah but you know what I mean, "the lane where people are driving the slowest"

Sorry I honestly didn’t mean to b rude but if I had a pound for every friend who has said to me ‘but motorway driving is easier then town driving’ I would be rich.

It isn’t to me or the ops. It’s not as simple as that. If it was no one would fear flying or dogs etc

That isn't explaining how my post was unhelpul though, surely posts encouraging her to try and trying to let her know that Motorways aren't actually as bad as she thinks are infact the opposite of unhelpful?

Hi OP, I only passed my test last year at 38 and once I had, I did the pass plus course and had 4 extra hours of motorway tuition on top of PP. Did wonders for my confidence... so much so I just got my first speeding ticket. FFS! 🙈

Trunity

But it’s nowhere near as simple as that. If someone has an irrational fear or even an understandable fear like motorway driving or flying stats mean fuck all. Telling people they will b fine just go for it is quite dangerous actually especially regards nervous drivers.

I'll join your club. Not helped by living somewhere where it's hard to encounter a dual carriageway or a motorway unless you drive hours to find one... which makes gradual exposure and confidence building tricky! I know it is mostly psychological, but hard to overcome nonetheless. I drove 2.5 hours each way at the weekend on a day trip, but I chose to go the A-road rather than brave the motorway. Long trips are fine, but the idea of a slip road and merging is quite the anxiety provoker for me. And I am not generally an anxious person.

Many feel like this when they first pass, but they push themselves. Avoidance is the worst thing you can do.

But it’s nowhere near as simple as that. If someone has an irrational fear or even an understandable fear like motorway driving or flying stats mean fuck all. Telling people they will b fine just go for it is quite dangerous actually especially regards nervous drivers.

Fine, I'll stop posting then, bloody hell don't want to cause an accident from my arm chair

On motorways you tend to be at one speed, mostly in one lane, for one long stretch of road with everybody driving in the same direction, it's got to be much safer than driving round towns (I assume!)

I forced myself on the motorway really quickly after I passed my test so I didn't develop the fear, so many people seem to though, but once you've done it once you will be fine.

Could you take someone with you and just drive to the nearest service station and back again?

Blimey Trinity hope you arnt as aggressive on the roads. Was just trying to answer your post. Good grief I apologised

I passed almost two years ago too and I’m similar to you op. I drive locally most days and am fine but it’s very familiar routes and short journeys, so I now feel anxious about motorway and unfamiliar busy multi lane roundabouts etc as I don’t do them often. I have been thinking of doing pass plus or something like that just to get my confidence. I actually passed with no minors at all! But it was my 7th attempt so maybe that’s affected my confidence and I think it’s just that I haven’t forced myself

I highly recommend Pass Plus if you can, which is specifically there to teach you country roads and motorway driving. Or if you can't afford that, take yourself out for some short trips first thing on a Sunday morning when the roads are deserted.

My mum will only do a very limited selection of local routes and won't go on dual carriageways or motorways. Where they live public transport is basically unusable, and so growing up my social options were very restricted and now I live miles away she is totally dependent on my dad for trips any further afield than the supermarket. I now live 3 hours away so if anything happened to my dad she'd be really stuck. Don't end up like my mum!

You are not fit to drive and are a danger to other drivers if you are as bad as you say you are. A car is a lethal weapon and if you don't feel in control of it you shouldn't be driving it.

And I don't care how much I get flamed for saying this.

You need more lessons to help you overcome your fears.

No avoidance can be the most sensible choice especially as your decisions don’t just effect you.

It’s the overconfident stupid drivers that usually cause deaths.

Blimey Trinity hope you arnt as aggressive on the roads. Was just trying to answer your post. Good grief I apologised

You apologised and then told me that not only was my advice unhelpful but it was also dangerous ........ Don't know how you got aggression from my post though, what was it I said that was aggressive?

OP I had motorway lessons before going near one.

But tbh it sounds like you are not a good driver if you have to drive slowly etc

My sister would have described herself like you and ultimately stopped driving which was good because I think she would have stressed herself and other drivers to hell

I think one reason we have so many poor drivers on the road is the ones who just passed a test but are not good at it are still driving around

Advanced lessons might help but if you do those and don't improve it might be time to stop

I note some posters have said motorway driving is easier

Maybe but if you aren't good, the accident you might cause their is far worse than the accident you'd cause on a 20mph Camden street.

*there

Ducking autocorrect.

The driving test is shockingly poor, in a rural area the test will be on lanes and a bit of quiet DC, in a town its in busy streets and urban DC, neither prepare you to be an all round confident driver.

Get some Passed Plus lessons, which is what my daughter did after she passed the new test in December, made a real difference as she was learning to drive for the real world not to pass a test.

But this seems to largely be about anxiety.
OP do some advanced driving lessons and ask the instructor to set you homework after every lesson that you have to do on your own. The instructor will not ask you to do anything you are not capable of.

jasjas It does depend where you live, but where I live all the driving test routes take in a wide variety of road conditions including city driving and dual carriageways.

I posted about this a while ago when it transpired that a large number of women in DH's family feel like this and are totally reliant on their DHs to drive them anywhere further than their town. One of these husbands has had some ill health recently and his wife has been really isolated as a result. She has started taking motorway lessons at the age of 64 because she realises how difficult life will be if his health does not improve; I am really proud of her.

I would really encourage you to take some motorway lessons, and perhaps to do Pass Plus (which can, in some cases, get you a discount on your insurance premium). The longer you leave it, the bigger a deal it will be. I'd ideally like to see some kind of system whereby new drivers have to validate their licence with something like Pass Plus within a certain period of time after passing their test. I started using fast dual carriageways and motorways very quickly after passing but I live somewhere with very few rural roads and could have done with some additional practice; I'm sure many people are in the opposite position in parts of the country with few dual carriageways or motorways.

Right, ok, you're driving heavy machinery around at 70mph, if you make a mistake you could end up dead or killing someone else...what's there to be scared of?
If you are paralysed by your fear to the extent that it actually makes you a worse driver - yes, as all the others said, get some extra lessons, have some practice, get yourself used to the road.
Otherwise - I'd far rather all new drivers had a bit more fear, and a bit less gung-ho.

I'm comfortable while on the motorway, but I really panic getting onto it. I sometimes have to use it and I always panic - what If I can't get onto it from the slip lane?! It hasn't ever happened, but the thought terrifies me. What would I do then?!

I'm also not comfortable 100% with judging the distance between cars when pulling on or changing lanes. This makes me more over-cautious, so I'm not just pulling out in front of someone, but the thought of doing so really makes me worry.

I'd be so much happier if I didn't have to drive at all. But alas, with work I have to.