Scared of motorways and dual carriageways

[Upupupup]

I passed my driving test almost two years ago and got a car last year.

But I am still scared stiff when it comes to going on motorways! So I’ve avoided it.

In fact, I don’t like going anywhere I don’t know especially if it involves a drive over 15 miles. Dual carriageways and strange big roundabouts also cause me to panic. I feel I’ll never be over it, which really restricts me.

When I go somewhere new I look up the whole journey on google maps, and will take a longer way round using a sat nav if I don’t like the look of it. I also drive slower than the speed limit in areas I don’t know as I don’t know what’s around the corner. This makes drivers behind frustrated, hooting me and gesturing.

Anyone else feel like this?

Was on a motorway less than a week after my test in v powerful work car with a soppy grin on my face and a v nervous colleague by my side! Had a lovely convertible for a weekend recently owing to mess up with a garage and first thing I did was to hit a motorway...glorious! But speed isn't for everyone and although it is statistically safer, I can understand why you might be struggling. As PPs have said, additional lessons or an advanced course will help. Plus take it in small steps. Find a route which allows you to go on a motorway for perhaps 2 or 3 junctions only and then you'll be off it really quickly and knowing you have managed it will boost your confidence.

Driving like anything takes a bit of practice and whilst a hellish commute is one of the most painful things, a drive on a coastal road can be one of the most wonderful. Build your confidence locally so that it becomes more instinctive for you and so you don't need to constantly think about every little thing (& by that I mean when to change gear etc, not about being aware of the road etc). Good luck! And honestly...motorway in a convertible? Fabulous!

Ignore stupid people who tell you you're not fit to drive. Obviously you are or you wouldn't have passed your test. You do need practice and a couple of motorway lessons would probably help a lot. It's not your ability to drive that's the issue, it's your confidence.

If you’re consistently going under the speed for the road you are a hazard and you will cause an accident. That will be your fault. I drove on motorways the day I passed (at 28) and have done daily since. Don’t drive if you’re gonna cause deaths on the road!!!!!

I’m the same . Passed two years ago and have a tiny car but rarely drive as the roads near me are mayhem and I’m nervous.
I’ve taken advanced driving lessons and motorway lessons but these have been at quiet times and it really is not the same as driving at busy times.
Ignore people saying negative things. Nobody is inside your brain and we aren’t all confident people. There is a real phobia of motorways and many more people than you realise suffer from it.
I don’t know if I will ever get over my phobia but sometimes I think a better car would help me but funds are limited!

Just posting to say I feel exactly the same. I found driving lessons massively stressful and ended up always taking beta blockers before them, and cannot bring myself to undertake them again - I'd rather not drive. The people saying you shouldn't be driving are extremely unhelpful - how on earth are people meant to become confident drivers, if they don't drive? I wish confident drivers would think for a minute about how difficult and scary some people find driving.

I passed my test five years ago (four minors, so a good pass) and due to a fear of driving - even though I'd just passed my test - never got to a point where I could do anything except short drives alone, or long drives only with my partner. I then was cut up on a roundabout by someone in a massive Range Rover type thing, had a panic attack and didn't drive for two years because I didn't feel safe. (Try driving while sobbing and unable to breathe.)

I have recently started driving again, only with my partner and on 'easy' roads. I avoid big roundabouts and don't go on dual carriageways. I know I need to eventually because not driving is very limiting for me - I can't visit family and friends in my home town 40 miles away, and I'm reliant on my partner for silly things like a trip to the garden centre. I know I'm a safe, if slightly hesitant, driver. I drive at the speed limit, but can be slow to pull away and I don't put my foot down and zoom because I hate the feeling. (I don't even like going fast on my bike - I dislike adrenaline!) I find driving so, so hard to cope with, and even getting back to where I was will take baby steps. It's incredibly frustrating. If I could drive on open roads with no-one else around I would be absolutely fine!

So... solidarity. I had CBT for driving phobia as part of my therapy for generalised anxiety, and while helpful it was clear the only really effective way to become more confident is to do it, and do it regularly.

One useful tip I did pick up is to keep a positive driving log - so after each drive, write down the bits you did well (even if it was just changing gear smoothly, or anticipating something correctly). It helps you feel more confident in your abilities, and focus less on the mistakes.

If you’re consistently going under the speed for the road you are a hazard and you will cause an accident. That will be your fault

Of course it won't be the fault of other drivers not paying enough attention to notice a slow moving vehicle or not having the patience to wait without making rash overtaking moves?? 😒
Of course OP cannot continue driving so slowly forever and I agree it can he hazard but there are ways to improve this.

I was like this about big roundabouts when I passed my test 2 years ago. I made myself go on them and learn them and now I'm much better. I've always loved motorways though. They are the easiest roads to drive on.

Agree with a PP that Motorways and Dual carriage ways are actually easier than driving round normal roads towns. I did an hour and a half on the motorway each way at the weekend and literally got on set my speed and turned on the cruise control, didn't have to do anything besides steer for the whole journey

I passed my test 36 years ago op i was fine on any motorway and a very confident driver. After one of my kids was involved in a fatal accident on a motorway I realised I could no longer tolerate driving on one and havnt for 6 years.

I am fairly ok with dh driving if I can put head phones in sit in the back and watch a film.

I am far too nervous to try and ‘conquer my fear’ and wouldn’t dream of putting anyone else at risk by doing so. I can avoid motorways.,

I think it really depends if you can avoid them then fine if it’s affecting your life then you may need help.

Trinity

Yes that’s not really helpful though. It’s like telling an alcoholic that it’s fine to have one drink you b ok’ I know statistically motorway driving is safer than country road driving but that has no bearing on your total utter fear of motorways.

I have a terrible fear of both driving and being a passenger on roads with a 60mph limit. Even single carriage ways.

It effects my life so much. As I’m pretty limited to wear I can drive the kids.

I physically shake when on one.

I never used to be like this until one day I felt rather unwell when driving on a motorway to the point I had a panic attack.

It’s horrible and I really want to conquer it!

Yes that’s not really helpful though. It’s like telling an alcoholic that it’s fine to have one drink you b ok’ I know statistically motorway driving is safer than country road driving but that has no bearing on your total utter fear of motorways.

I really don't get the alcoholic reference. Terribly sorry for posting my unhelpful opinion though

It's nearly 30 years since I passed my driving test and I still feel the same, OP! Due to disability, I don't drive much anymore, so I probably feel even more scared now.

The thing that gives me most anxiety is knowing I need to change lane, but not being able to as no-one will let me out.

packet

So unhelpful.

Well done on your proficient motorway driving....................others don’t find it so easy.

Would encourage posters whose anxiety about driving - or being a passenger - is negatively affecting your lives and that of your families to seek help.

I hadn’t driven for 15 years, largely to to anxiety (and living in London driving was non essential). Had refresher and motorway driving lessons from a very kind and capable instructor, also some help with my anxiety more generally. It really helped.

When I say under the speed limit, I mean going about 50 on 60mph single carriageway roads. I live in quite a rural area with lots of these, and they’re very unpredictable with bends everywhere. But drivers still got me if I’m not going at 60mph

Motorways are actually incredibly boring to drive on. No traffic lights, no pedestrians, no cycles, no roundabouts, no right turns, always a spare lane for overtaking so you don’t have to do it on the wrong side of the road, no tractors, no horses - and often no scenery, just grass banking up to a barrier!
Honestly, OP, if you have a few lessons on motorways with a driving instructor, you’ll still hate them - but only because they bore you rigid, not because they scare you any more!
I have to drive a 100 mile round trip, almost entirely on motorway, every time I visit either of my DDs. I can virtually do it on autopilot now.
Give it a go with an instructor, and you’ll wonder what you ever worried about. The biggest problem is staying awake!

I'm the same op. Never had an accident in 5 years of driving so I can't be a terrible driver, but I avoid dual carraigeways and motorways like the plague. I just don't do long distance journeys, I don't care how expensive or time consuming public transport is I will always do that rather than drive long distances.
But I'm fine to drive around town and to work etc so it doesn't cause too many problems.

I used to get so worked up about driving on Motorways I'd actually cry when I got on one. I did get over it but only with lots of practice. Maybe get a more confident driver to come out with you and go on, on one junction and off the next then do the route back? You can get Motorway lessons x

dizzy that’s really good advice. Might try this with my partner. Gentle exposure!!!

Motorways and dual carriageways may be fine, but getting on to them via a slip road is a challenge, especially when your local motorway is one of the most congested in the country. Slotting into a gap between two cars at 70mph when those two cars are barely two car lengths apart is daunting.

When I say under the speed limit, I mean going about 50 on 60mph single carriageway roads. I live in quite a rural area with lots of these, and they’re very unpredictable with bends everywhere. But drivers still got me if I’m not going at 60mph

Just so you know OP, my post was supposed to be encouraging(not unhelpful), in that you don't have to do anything on a motorway other than steer really, especially if you're more comfortable driving a bit slower, just stay in the slow lane and let the other cars do the lane changing.

You need more lessons. Honestly if you are driving that slowly that people behind get frustrated enough to beep you, and you can't drive competently on faster roads, you aren't safe to be on the road.

But drivers still got me if I’m not going at 60mph

Many drivers are complete tossers. My instructor always told me to never let the impatience or intolerance of the driver of another vehicle intimidate me or make me do something I was not comfortable with. Easier said than done, I know.

Trinity

Sorry I honestly didn’t mean to b rude but if I had a pound for every friend who has said to me ‘but motorway driving is easier then town driving’ I would be rich.

It isn’t to me or the ops. It’s not as simple as that. If it was no one would fear flying or dogs etc.