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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To get annoyed when people say they have no money

62 replies

Upupupup · 23/04/2018 21:55

.....while living it up and spending money on expensive luxuries.

I have a friend who is only 24, earns £26k and always moans about having no money, yet boasts about only having to spend £450 a month on rent and bills. She goes out to nice restaurants every week, goes on plush holidays and has a gym, yoga and multiple other memberships.

How is this ‘having no money?’

I may sound jealous, but honestly I just can’t stand people who plead poverty when I’ve seen people really struggling.

OP posts:
Theshittyendofthestick · 23/04/2018 22:00

I don't think you should get too annoyed at your friend. She's earning a decent, but not ridiculously high salary and perhaps just means that she has no spare cash after budgeting for the things that are important to her.
Are you feeling frustrated by your own financial position? If that's the case, I appreciate just how difficult that can be, but your friend might be the wrong person to get angry with.

MellyPapa · 23/04/2018 22:01

It's all relative. I say I have no money when I'm down to my last £150 in the positive as I like to have a reserve after spends and regular savings. DP will say he has no money when he has exhausted his overdraft (happens frequently!)

NotTakenUsername · 23/04/2018 22:02

You do sound jealous. But she doesn’t sound like someone I would enjoy spending time with.

AlonsosLeftPinky · 23/04/2018 22:04

Well, it's having no money because she spends it.

Everyone's perception of skint varies.

ShatnersBassoon · 23/04/2018 22:05

In what context is she claiming to have no money? Is she asking you for loans? Or is it just her standard excuse to get out of doing things she doesn't want to do?

colouringinagain · 23/04/2018 22:06

Yanbu.

I met last week with a friend who said she was having to move back to her house in the cotswolds as this area is so expensive (wearing £££clothes, living in £££place, not working)

BarbarianMum · 23/04/2018 22:07

Well she's right. She's got no money cause she's spent it all. And as a result she's skint.

TeenTimesTwo · 23/04/2018 22:09

I think in the situation the OP describes it doesn't appear to be 'having no money' it is 'having different priorities'.

A bit like my 18yo saying she has 'no time' to tidy her room or do her ironing. She has plenty of time, just chooses to do other things with it. Hmm

Aprilmightbemynewname · 23/04/2018 22:10

My ex friend was always saying she had no cash, or would recite she has £2.75 in the bank til x day or 6p in her purse. I therefore always paid at the cafe twice a week at our meet ups. Never begrudged it, good friend etc. . Until she turned up one day in a Mercedes convertible.
Often feel I at least should have a part share...

SandyY2K · 23/04/2018 22:12

YABU. £26K isn't such a high salary. I earn almost double that and it's still not enough. All depends on your lifestyle.

I look at colleagues some single ...some married who don't have kids (I have 2 and am married) and earn the same as me and think they must have or should have a lot more money left over than me.

You never have enough or too much money IMO...I'd like to be in that position one day.

I've got a DD going to University this year...so I'll be even poorer.

FluffyFerrets · 23/04/2018 22:12

Like a pp I say I'm skint when I'm down to less than 100/150 pound in my account (I don't have pound signs, in case anyone wonders :))
Dp doesn't say he's skint until he literally is.
Thing is though you can pay for so much monthly - housing/mobiles/cars/memberships/holidays and much more I'm sure so once it all comes out you certainly aren't as flush as you were when you first got paid. Maybe she means it like that.

GrandTheftWalrus · 23/04/2018 22:13

I am skint. I am always skint since I only get 116 a week. However I have learned to live on it so I don't moan I'm skint.

Aylarose · 23/04/2018 22:20

No, that's not unreasonable.

No money should mean no money or very little (perhaps less than £100 available in your overdraft).

Pollaidh · 23/04/2018 22:22

I'd maybe say I was a "bit broke" if I'd already spent a lot recently, like a big holiday, or big expense coming up, but I wouldn't mean I had no money at all. Plenty in the bank for investments, emergencies, savings, but what I mean is that if I'm to save money that month, then I'd better stop spending.

But I wouldn't say I was broke to anyone who was actually genuinely broke, and I wouldn't ever expect -or accept- someone else to sub me. In fact I frequently sub a friend for lunch, when I know they're struggling. In that case a bit of fun for them takes precedence over saving for me.

It's often used in a relative manner, and as PP say it's about priorities. I have a friend in a rather unusual situation who had hardly any income, but has about £500k inheritance in the bank. She's frequently 'broke', but that means she's keeping spending under control because for various reasons that £500k has to last her for life (and has no property or anything).

RoundaboutSnail · 23/04/2018 22:25

No money is when you can't pay the bills and get fined for going over your overdraft limit, isn't it? Confused

Pollaidh · 23/04/2018 22:27

IME:
"a bit broke" = "I've thousands in reserve but I need to be sensible as I've had a few big bills recently."
"I'm completely broke" = genuinely doesn't know where to turn.

If you asked someone to go to the theatre and the said "ah, sorry, bit broke at the moment", it's completely different from "oh no, honestly, I'm completely broke".

JustSeeingHowManyCharactersWeC · 23/04/2018 22:30

Thing is, when I was younger I would say "I can't come out, I have no money." Yet that wouldn't mean my bank account was empty, it would mean that I didn't have anything spare for that luxury.

ReanimatedSGB · 23/04/2018 22:39

If what's in your account right now is £500 but your standing orders go out tomorrow and account for it all, then you have no money to go for dinner/coffee/cocktails.

I sometimes have no money at all ie nothing for a few days. Usually there's enough in the freezer to keep DS and me fed till the next bit of incoming cash, but sometimes it's a matter of pawning something or borrowing a tenner off a mate.

lovehak · 23/04/2018 22:42

I drive a decent car, I usually have a Burberry bag with me and dress well however I have gone out or gone a week with literally 5 pounds to my name by what some of you said you seem to think of I have all this I am rich
I remember moving into my flat I was eating pasta and ketchup for a week cause I was broke as fuck but I still had a car and looked decent

you don't know someone's situation and to be honest I'm broke now but I'm out most weeks because my boyfriend pays for everything if you saw my snap you wouldn't think I was struggling

Notso · 23/04/2018 22:43

It can be a bit grating, at the moment SIL is moaning about having no money due to being on maternity leave. She keeps saying she is so poor and only has £150 to last for three months.
However her husband is well paid, is obviously covering bills etc, she is spending £40 a week on baby groups, DN is being bought new clothes weekly, they've just bought a new sofa, a new car and are going on their second holiday this year.
She might be used to having more personal money but she is hardly living in poverty.

Aquamarine1029 · 23/04/2018 22:45

I understand where you're coming from. I know several people who are always bitching and moaning about having no money yet the are always going to the pub, ordering takeaways, and wasting money on countless other things. Some people have no idea how to be financially responsible.

C8H10N4O2 · 23/04/2018 22:50

Is this related to the other threads you have started relating to money/income? ie about the brother wasting money or choosing the wrong career for money?

Consolidating the issues into one picture may bring you more useful answers if that is what you seek.

PoorYorick · 23/04/2018 22:54

These things are relative. £26k is a decent wage but I can understand why someone wouldn't feel hugely flush on it.

JingsMahBucket · 23/04/2018 22:54

Genuinely all relative and depends on one’s threshold for reserves. One of my friends gets twitchy if her cash savings fall below 35,000. That’s because she’s saving up for a deposit and doesn’t want to touch the cash too much.

This is of course very different from being genuinely broke with really no money.

gillybeanz · 23/04/2018 22:55

She probably doesn't have any money after she's blown it all.

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