To get annoyed when people say they have no money

[Upupupup]

.....while living it up and spending money on expensive luxuries.

I have a friend who is only 24, earns £26k and always moans about having no money, yet boasts about only having to spend £450 a month on rent and bills. She goes out to nice restaurants every week, goes on plush holidays and has a gym, yoga and multiple other memberships.

How is this ‘having no money?’

I may sound jealous, but honestly I just can’t stand people who plead poverty when I’ve seen people really struggling.

YANBU.

My DM claims to be flat broke quite often but she goes on holiday multiple times a year, seems to go out every weekend, has her hair done every month etc. I’d say her household income with her DP is 50-60k (which up North is a lot) and their outgoings are slim as their children have flown the nest and her DP has a work car for which everything (including petrol in his own time) is paid for. She isn’t broke at all. To her it probably means she’s a week away from payday and has a grand in the bank.

It’s even more grating when you yourself are genuinely experiencing financial difficulties.

With you OP

But what’s the context? As they clearly have money but have spent it, so yes they have no money. It’s only annoying if they’re expecting you to sub them or if they’re moaning.

I was asked to be a guarantor for an acquaintance. I said no. She was evicted from her last property. She is always 'broke' yet has designer handbags, shoes and jewellery. She gets taxi's instead of trains and buses and doesn't seem to cook for herself. She had a cleaner.

I have another friend who actually is 'broke'. She is up to her neck in debt caused by her ex husband. She is slowly digging herself out of the mess but it will take years. She just gets on with it. Once in a while she will mention it.

My 'broke' acquaintance constantly mentions how she's got no money. It really winds me up.

YANBU!

I think part of the problem is that people use language carelessly.

I'm broke, or I'm skint, have implications that aren't necessarily accurate. Especially with a background of expensive holidays/cars/clothes.

If people said I can't afford to do that at the moment, or I'm only spending on essentials at the moment, it might be more truthful and less irritating.

Everyone has levels of skint. I budget and allocate money for savings etc so yes I am skint at times of the month when I have no free money. I'm not on the bones of my ass but I want savings to feel secure

I've got £0 in the bank, no overdraft/credit cards, and less than £15 in my purse to last til next Thursday. I do have food shopping in etc so I wouldn't say I was broke because I don't need anything!

I do see your point but I think it comes down to perception. I've got £100 till Thursday but don't have anything going out till the 1st may. I do have a little bit of savings but don't touch them.

To me I am broke but I can see how other people would think I am not.

I have never been 'skint'. Ever.

Not got 'loads' of money, but would start cutting back if/when I get to the last £5000 in the bank. Never ever touch our savings accts etc.

I don't drive, so only DH has a car. Don't ever go abroad for holidays (too many lovely places to see in my own country), don't have ANY debt (apart from the mortgage, which is nearly paid up).

When when I was a single parent, on benefits between jobs (abput 20 years ago) I was never skint.

I have always budgeted accordingly.

I might be completely socially awkward here but I always find it really uncomfortable when work colleagues moan about being skint (probably are we earn a dismal wage) I never really know what to say. Skint to me is no money what's so ever so luckily I've never had the problem

YANBU. Pisses me off too.

I know someone who claims poverty all the time, and posts on twitter about how 'brassick' she is, and yet she thinks nothing of spending £30 on new nails (every 3-4 weeks,) £60 a time on her hair (every 4-5 weeks or so,) £40-50 at a time on concerts (around every 2 months,) weekends to London, (nightclubbing and partying there, and going to shows,) travelling to Rome for a long weekend, clubbing every Friday, and buying dresses and shoes and suchlike (every couple of weeks,) that cost £60 to £100 a time.

I know many couples who have less income between them than she has to herself, and she is ALWAYS moaning.

I think this is about the way this is presented.

I, for one, am SICK of millennials starting sentences with "Actually, for my generation...." which then go on about their lack of money. I get that housing costs and student debt are really unfair and I think there's a strong case for redressing the balance to make sure we don't have an intergenerational problem. At the same time, though, it's not like they invented poverty and precarity. And when said speaker is my joiner, who can only be bothered to get up and into work at 11am, and who finishes at 3pm so that he can go to football practice and "avoid being a capitalist stoodge", my sympathy starts to wear thin. He is always moaning that he never has any money, but doesn't appear to be able to link this to the fact he only works a 20 hour week.

@pigmcpigface (above) I agree with your post. Although I feel for many younger people not being able to buy a house, I do know many who waste their money on crap - like expensive phones and games consoles and designer goods and so on - and yet claim poverty.

I have several middle aged friends who have adult children living with them, who earn £30K, and yet only give my friend £30 week, and often ask for money towards the end of the month as they are skint! These children are 23-30 y.o.. I don't think I could tolerate that!

@Joanna57

I have never been 'skint'. Ever. Not got 'loads' of money, but would start cutting back if/when I get to the last £5000 in the bank. Never ever touch our savings accounts etc.

I don't drive, so only DH has a car. Don't ever go abroad for holidays (too many lovely places to see in my own country), don't have ANY debt (apart from the mortgage, which is nearly paid up)

When when I was a single parent, on benefits between jobs (about 20 years ago) I was never skint.

I have always budgeted accordingly.

Bully for you. Aren't you clever, never being skint or in debt - like ever, but then it's hardly a surprise as you never do anything!

Reading through your post nearly sent me to sleep. That sounds like a morbidly boring life. I mean, there is just squandering your money for the sake of it, (often on crap you don't need,) and there there is..... you.

Someone who just does...... nothing!

As for the OP.

YANBU.

It also damages my ego. "I think you'll find for my generation" makes me feel positivelt ancient. But the guy is 30, and I'm 40, so it's not like there's a chasm of time between us.

If people can't spend their own money on whatever they like when they're young...!

Life gets tough once you start having children, or decide to buy a house, she might as well have fun now.

YANBU. She’s broke because she frittered her money away by choice. So she has the pleasure of all the stuff she has bought, it’s uo to her if that’s better than being broke.

For me broke means, down to my last £10. Been there plenty of times - and not by choice - when in minimum wage jobs and paying all bills. Thankfully that’s not the case now, although we have saved every spare penny for a deposit so we can buy a bigger house for the last few years.

It’s all relative though isn’t it. Me and my partner come from backgrounds where both parents worked and there wasn’t money for anything beyond the basics, often not even that. So whilst we don’t have spare cash right now, our living expenses are covered including extra curricular activities for the kids.

My very favourite incidence of a complete lack of awareness of how others live, was when someone on a different forum declared herself broke because she was down to her last £80k of savings. Whilst living in a huge house in the SE bought for cash. I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry on reading that.

To me, skint means no money anywhere , no-one can claim to be skint if they have any savings. They have money but are choosing not to touch it.

Saying you have no money or are skint, is not saying you are living in poverty or on the breadline.

It may simply mean you haven't got enough to do some of the things you'd like to do.

I'd like to have a full body massage at a nice spa at least monthly. I'd like a newer more luxurious car, I'd like more frequent holidays/mini breaks, I'd like to refurbish my kitchen and build a conservatory ... I can't afford to do those things at the moment ... so it's right to say I haven't got any money in that context.

Its like saying you're starving when you may have missed breakfast ... you're not really starving. Missing one meal isn't starvation.

Mil said she’ll treat us to lunch one weekend (after we had hosted her for a week). When the bill came, she said that she didn’t have enough in her current account after paying for her holiday together with business class flights! We had to use our credit card for this unbudgeted expense. We could have stayed at home since there was plenty of nice food in the fridge and it was her idea!

I was always reminding my eldest DD, that she isn't skint, she's just spent what income she had.

Her lifestyle made paying her Mortgage easy, she had so much that she could cut back on, once she had a focus.

It's my Sister that does my head in. She is childfree and has always earned around 50k (up north). Bought her house for 22k, paid off fifteen years ago. She is constantly on holidays, spending yet pleads poverty. I was given couches by her friends, who are well off. I sent a thank you but couldn't afford to give them anything. She went on and on about it, claiming they also "had nothing". They had taken her on holiday, three times that year, once to the US, once to Paris and another in a 5k villa. They also went frequently alone and took her away around the UK.

I'm living on disability benefits and struggle to find bus fare.

My very favourite incidence of a complete lack of awareness of how others live, was when someone on a different forum declared herself broke because she was down to her last £80k of savings. Whilst living in a huge house in the SE bought for cash. I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry on reading that.

No one is that oblivious. She was broke and living in her in-laws' attic.

SandyY2K it really isn't right to day you haven't got any money, in that context.

My understanding of the point the OP is making is that her friend was pleading poverty and allowing the OP to subsidise her coffee when in reality the OP was actually enabling her to save for a posh new car.

If friend had said "I can't afford coffee out as every spare penny is going in my car fund at the moment" then the OP could say "ok, this one's on me". As it stands, she feels, quite understandably, taken for a mug.

Next time she suggests meeting up, tell her you're skint and see if she'll sub you for a change! I certainly wouldn't be buying her any more coffees.

Well, my STBXH make a 6 figure income and never has any money, deep in debt, and his lack of financial savvy, or rather my unhappiness about it is one of the many reasons why we are now divorcing.

Not everybody knows how to cut their cloth, and far too many people feel entitled to new cars, expensive holidays, lots of going out etc etc.

I really don't care, but struggle to describe the freedom of doing my own financial planning