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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To tell you that YABU

98 replies

ificouldwritealettertome · 23/04/2018 21:17

I would like to start by saying that this is to the people (you know who you are) that do this- and not the rest of civilised society. When you enter a pub/restaurant/hotel and forget your manners to all staff you encounter- YABU.
When your order starts with "Get me a..." YABU.
When you flag me down/click at me/summon me with a Queens-Wave hand gesture - YABU.
When you can see that I am the only waitress in the restaurant and you give me repeated disapproving looks because you haven't had your dessert yet - YABU. I am not the chef.

For anyone who hasn't worked in hospitality - some facts for you to take into consideration: Your waiter/waitress will have a maximum of two legs. These will be moving at optimum speed.
We can not carry food/drinks/the cheque/a high chair at the same time.
If I asked you to answer 46 emails simultaneously you would reach critical mass and quite possibly hyperventilate. Why do you think I can do this with orders?
And FINALLY- YOUR KIDS ARE NOT MY KIDS. The peas they have stamped into the carpet - the menus they have shredded on the table and the pens they have stubbed all over the napkins are NOT MY JOB.

I am paid minimum wage - £7.83 an hour to seat you, take your order, bring your food, clear your plates and give you great and attentive customer service. I am not your Nanny. I don't get paid enough for that shit.
I know that all humans are capable of saying "please" and "thank you" as they do to each other at the table... where does this go when I arrive?

People who earn less, are not worth less. You are perfectly capable of being nice to your partner/children/parents. Well I am someone's partner, someone's child and I am someone's parent.
No need to tell me to 'retrain' - for the most part I love my job and shouldn't have to consider another field because customers can't treat me like an equal.

Footnote: Your shitty TripAdvisor reports and complaints emails - make sure they are 100% necessary and accurate. People lose their jobs over these. To the two mums who emailed a horrible review about me to my boss: we have CCTV We know your son smashed that glass on purpose. My manager has seen me arrive at the table with a dustpan and brush 37 seconds after you called me. NOT "10 minutes". Luckily, I have done this job a long time and my manager didn't believe your about my "couldn't be bothered attitude". I also have hundreds of 5* feedback reviews to back this up. BUT I could have been new. We could have had no CCTV. I could be out of a job now, all because you wanted a free lunch.

Please everyone: the staff who serve you are people with bills to pay and families to provide for. Oh, and they're also human. Please do us a favour and be human back

OP posts:
expatinscotland · 23/04/2018 21:20

Amen! There are some real cunts out there. I take neg reviews on TripAdvisor with a pail of salt. You can tell right away if they're an entitled twat.

Original poster
ificouldwritealettertome · 23/04/2018 21:20

expatinscotland

Yes! So glad you hear me and I am not alone

OP posts:
SneakyGremlins · 23/04/2018 21:22

I like it when the owner responds to a TA review with evidence refuting it.

Lacucuracha · 23/04/2018 21:23

YANBU.

Customers can be cunts.

RoomOfRequirement · 23/04/2018 21:24

Absolutely!!

Sorry you have to deal with entitled twats Cake

FinnegansCake · 23/04/2018 21:24

YANBU at all. Some people behave appallingly to waiting staff.

Original poster
ificouldwritealettertome · 23/04/2018 21:25

Thanks everyone. I was all set for a flaming but seems like I've got back up!!

OP posts:
Domino20 · 23/04/2018 21:26

YANBU....and also I get an immediate distaste for someone when the treat waiting staff/taxi drivers/shop assistants rudely.

MrsMozart · 23/04/2018 21:27

Good, if sad that it's needed, post.

Cakedoesntjudge · 23/04/2018 21:27

I've never worked in hospitality but have just left after 10 years in retail and it never failed to amaze me that the rudest of customers were almost to the point of no exception, upper middle class people who would, outside of a shop, pride themselves in having the best of manners.

Yet they would think nothing of speaking to us like we were almost sub-human just because of the uniform! It really beggars belief.

AlpacaLypse · 23/04/2018 21:28

Doing at least 6 months minimum wage customer facing hospitality cured most of my age group of students from being arses. About the only upside of the end of full tuition and maintenance grants.

Nuffaluff · 23/04/2018 21:28

YANBU. It’s one of my pet hates. I stopped being friends with some women from my baby group when we went out and they were rude to waiters. It was an Asian restaurant so I felt there was a tinge of racism as well.

FaFoutis · 23/04/2018 21:28

I've been a waitress too and am always nice to serving staff. But it sounds like your place is not well run to me. Perhaps people are pissed off that you are the only waitress in the restaurant, and you are stressed because it is understaffed.

SneakyGremlins · 23/04/2018 21:30

The only thing waiting staff ever do that annoys me is wait to ask how my meal is until I've got a mouth full of food Grin

Stormwhale · 23/04/2018 21:31

Yanbu AT ALL. All the behaviours you have stated are disgraceful. When I'm in a restaurant I speak to the waitor/waitress in a polite and friendly manner, and can only remember having bad service once. The people who treat you like shit should be ashamed of themselves. Flowers for you for putting up with their bullshit.

mirren3 · 23/04/2018 21:31

Well said, there are some entitled CF's out there who couldn't do the job if you paid 10 times what a waiter/waitress earns. And they are usually the worst offenders.

Original poster
ificouldwritealettertome · 23/04/2018 21:32

the rudest of customers were almost to the point of no exception, upper middle class people who would, outside of a shop, pride themselves in having the best of manners

Absolutely. I work in a beautiful boutique hotel and the clientele are often in this category. One woman today shouted at me when I put the dessert cutlery in front of her because it was actually for her mum. Just say "it's for my mum" or, God forbid! Move the fucking cutlery across the table yourself.

I mean, fucking hell! When did customer service = emotional punch-bag???

OP posts:
ilovesooty · 23/04/2018 21:33

Absolutely in agreement with you.

BewareOfDragons · 23/04/2018 21:36

Well said, OP.

Sorry that some people are assholes.

SoaveSally · 23/04/2018 21:36

Totally agree op!

Original poster
ificouldwritealettertome · 23/04/2018 21:37

FaFoutis it's so nice you know how it feels to do the job and are kind to staff.

The place is actually really well run. People hardly have to wait at all. I have only just returned from maternity butI worked up to 37 weeks. I was absolutely huge and SO tired, and one woman absolutely tore me to pieces over waiting a few minutes for a dessert menu. I was running (shuffling) as fast as I could and told her I was doing my best but she told me her young grandson, (a teenager) wanted his pudding immediately.

My raging hormones could have torn her head off. My years of experience apologised politely and got her a menu.

OP posts:
ShutUpBaz · 23/04/2018 21:37

YANBU. Rude, predominantly 'middle class', naice people who think those who work in catering/hospitality are their actual personal slaves are the reason I am following a back of house career path.

Cannot stand people who look down on waitresses, retail staff etc. They are vile, and so are their brats, one of which put a colleague of mine in hospital with burns because the thick parents decided a pub was a good place to allow their little Jocasta to ride her scooter around. They deserve the trashing they get on here. Entitled idiots.

MrsWembley · 23/04/2018 21:37

I love going to Trip Advisor when thinking about places to go and I always look at the best and worst reviews - you can easily tell when someone is grovelling and when someone has an ax to grind.

But yes, not everyone can understand bad reviews and yes, sometimes they can cause a member of staff to lose their job. So yes, I completely understand your post.

Just to balance things, I'm abroad right now, Dad’s not well, dying really, and during supper I heard via WhatsApp that he was going back into hospital with pneumonia - cue a few tears. My waitress and the other staff in the restaurant couldn't have been lovelier. Big hugs and lots of best wishes all round to a complete stranger and foreigner, so I have the utmost respect for waiting staff - they never know what shit someone is going to lay on them!

Storm4star · 23/04/2018 21:38

YANBU

You are a waitress (or sales person or anyone in that kind of job) you are not a servant. Please and thank you cost nothing, it’s common courtesy.

There are some real dicks in this world but your spot on when you say “people who earn less are not worth less’.

Raindrop12 · 23/04/2018 21:38

Yanbu. Especially the comment about all of us being someone's family.
Imo the 'customer is always right' mantra is abused by many a coward and bully. Dealing with the public can be humiliating.