To tell you that YABU

[ificouldwritealettertome]

I would like to start by saying that this is to the people (you know who you are) that do this- and not the rest of civilised society. When you enter a pub/restaurant/hotel and forget your manners to all staff you encounter- YABU.
When your order starts with "Get me a..." YABU.
When you flag me down/click at me/summon me with a Queens-Wave hand gesture - YABU.
When you can see that I am the only waitress in the restaurant and you give me repeated disapproving looks because you haven't had your dessert yet - YABU. I am not the chef.

For anyone who hasn't worked in hospitality - some facts for you to take into consideration: Your waiter/waitress will have a maximum of two legs. These will be moving at optimum speed.
We can not carry food/drinks/the cheque/a high chair at the same time.
If I asked you to answer 46 emails simultaneously you would reach critical mass and quite possibly hyperventilate. Why do you think I can do this with orders?
And FINALLY- YOUR KIDS ARE NOT MY KIDS. The peas they have stamped into the carpet - the menus they have shredded on the table and the pens they have stubbed all over the napkins are NOT MY JOB.

I am paid minimum wage - £7.83 an hour to seat you, take your order, bring your food, clear your plates and give you great and attentive customer service. I am not your Nanny. I don't get paid enough for that shit.
I know that all humans are capable of saying "please" and "thank you" as they do to each other at the table... where does this go when I arrive?

People who earn less, are not worth less. You are perfectly capable of being nice to your partner/children/parents. Well I am someone's partner, someone's child and I am someone's parent.
No need to tell me to 'retrain' - for the most part I love my job and shouldn't have to consider another field because customers can't treat me like an equal.

Footnote: Your shitty TripAdvisor reports and complaints emails - make sure they are 100% necessary and accurate. People lose their jobs over these. To the two mums who emailed a horrible review about me to my boss: we have CCTV We know your son smashed that glass on purpose. My manager has seen me arrive at the table with a dustpan and brush 37 seconds after you called me. NOT "10 minutes". Luckily, I have done this job a long time and my manager didn't believe your about my "couldn't be bothered attitude". I also have hundreds of 5* feedback reviews to back this up. BUT I could have been new. We could have had no CCTV. I could be out of a job now, all because you wanted a free lunch.

Please everyone: the staff who serve you are people with bills to pay and families to provide for. Oh, and they're also human. Please do us a favour and be human back

Cant stand people being rude to wait staff - if I see this I am overly nice to compensate or just tell them outright to ignore and they are doing a good job. (I have never been at a table with people who do this so it's only ever been observations from other tables)

Worse still are managers in restaurants who treat their own staff like shit. I was in McDonald's once and the manager made a woman cry because HE had misheard my order and then shouted at her about bringing me the wrong thing when I mentioned it.

YADNBU

So many of my customers are absolutely lovely. I have had some nice conversations and even made some mum friends. I really do love my job and I am so good at it. It's the people who spoil it that just make it so hard.

And of course, it's not just hospitality. I bet everyone has encountered something like this at work. Why do it? Life can be hard enough, it doesn't have to be unpleasant as well.

I got sacked for telling a very rude man who insisted on clicking his fingers in a very obnoxious way (at his wife too, so that my next comment doesn’t seem horrific) “I’m not your wife, and I’m not your dog. Don’t click your fingers at me.”

Sacked on the spot. Totally fucking worth it! (I was a teenager still living at home not an actual grown up with bills and stuff though)

OP people can be absolutely rotten in restaurants. Manners cost fuck all, and many people forget that!

Perhaps serving a different clientele might be worth a try. I used to serve bus parties of pensioners in a hotel, the food was shit but the customers were lovely. I got big tips too.

FaFoutis

Big tips sound nice!! I used to work for a Wetherspoons and customers were genuinely nicer there! Perhaps you've got a point, but... the team I work with are so so lovely and I wouldn't change them for the World!

The rudest people I ever served were in the Royal Enclosure at Royal Ascot! Oh, and the angry Rangers fans at Celtic Park. But then I’m sure someone working at Ibrox could say the same about our fans!

Amen to this.

I know you're not next at the bar. Waiving your money around will get you nowhere.

My name is not "Oi".

Treat us with a bit of respect.

I think I got big tips because I was so crap at silver service that they felt sorry for me. I can still carry 4 plates at once so it was all worth it.

@FaFoutis glad to see I’m not the only one still proud of that

Absolutely. I was barstaff for nearly 10 years, I'm a mouthy cow and worked fairly rough pubs so I spent a lot of time asking drunk dickheads what the magic word is/where they left their manners, I would never cope in a nice restaurant/hotel/wine bar where I would have to be polite and put up with customers shitty attitudes.

and the angry Rangers fans at Celtic Park

My name is not "oi"

😂

There are asshole customers/clients in every job, retail, hospitality, admin etc. You put up and shut up or you find something else.

YANBU OP. Not at all. There's a saying I really like: "A person who is nice to you, but is not nice to the waiter, is not a nice person". It's just so true.

I went for a meal with work colleagues one of whom clicked their fingers at the waitress and said oi, get us the bill. I was mortified and the rest of us gave a very generous tip to compensate. Never went anywhere with that person again.

Working in hotels, pubs and restaurants as a student taught me fairly early on that not only is the customer often not right but they are usually utter cunts to boot.

This is so true. People are so fucking rude!!!

My son who is at uni told me that one of his friends who worked in a chain restaurant, can’t remember which one, didn’t get paid until the first customers walked in the door. That has to be illegal surely?

My elder son is working in a reasonably smart restaurant and comes back with some tales of horrendous behaviour, but says that generally the nice customers always outweigh the nasty ones - it’s phenomenally hard work and hats off to everyone who does it.

I was once behind the bar when a smart arsed middle (age and class) man came in. My colleague was serving him and he insisted he'd given him the money and was demanding his change. We were really busy at the time, and I was serving someone further down the bar, so missed the commotion till this man really started to shout his mouth off (poshly).

Anyhow, it turned out, he was so busy being important and talking loudly to his colleagues that he'd put his money into the top pocket of his shirt.

The Landlady asked him sweetly to apologise. He did, then sat down and kept very quiet for the rest of the lunch time. Hopefully it cured him of being obnoxious.

Totally with you OP.

My biggest hate is people with kids who leave the place looking like there's been a good fight. They wouldn't leave their own place like that!

(Well maybe they would?!)

I have great respect for the staff at pubs, cafes and restaurants. More so because I waited tables as a teen, a la carte silver service. Hard work!

It's also true that you can tell a lot about a person by how they the waiter. I once dumped a man because of how he spoke to the guy at the local curry place. No need for it t all.

Everybody should work in hospitality/retail for at least 6 months, people might learn some manners then. I work in customer service for a large supermarket and the abuse I put up with on a daily basis is unbelievable.

Somebody actually took the trouble to phone our head office to complain I didn't take it seriously enough when she lost her umbrella. I checked the lost property and said so sorry I am afraid it isn't here. Not sure what else I was supposed to do. I get sworn at and threatened on a daily basis and this week a youngster with no I.D spat over me for refusing to override the cashier who had refused him alcohol.

Well said OP! Keep up the good work

It’s the bullies I can’t stand, the older men and women who think that because you are young and working front of house that you have to put up with any old shite and smile despite their obnoxious behaviour. I actually find myself stepping in and getting involved when I see someone treating staff like shit or playing the ‘I can get you fired / do you know who I am’ card. Only a few months back there was some colossal arse who upon receiving his meal tried to claim that the order was wrong before proceeding to embarrass the young waitress into accepting the blame. I had overheard his initial order and he had basically changed his mind, she was correct, he was being a cheeky fucker. Amazing how quickly he backed down when I pointed out that she was 100% correct and he was being a tit.

I got sacked for telling a very rude man who insisted on clicking his fingers in a very obnoxious way (at his wife too, so that my next comment doesn’t seem horrific) “I’m not your wife, and I’m not your dog. Don’t click your fingers at me.”

I LOVE it! Wish I'd been there!

It's a disgrace that the management thought it was ok for him to do this.

I didn't take it seriously enough when she lost her umbrella. I checked the lost property and said so sorry I am afraid it isn't here. Not sure what else I was supposed to do.

Well obviously you were supposed to bow deeply and kiss her shoes! For goodness sake Sweeney that's customer service 101 😂 what a dick.

So sorry you have to put up with this too. Sorry to everyone who ever has/ever will

PanGalaticGargleBlaster I'm reserving you a table at our restaurant!!!