To tell you that YABU

[ificouldwritealettertome]

I would like to start by saying that this is to the people (you know who you are) that do this- and not the rest of civilised society. When you enter a pub/restaurant/hotel and forget your manners to all staff you encounter- YABU.
When your order starts with "Get me a..." YABU.
When you flag me down/click at me/summon me with a Queens-Wave hand gesture - YABU.
When you can see that I am the only waitress in the restaurant and you give me repeated disapproving looks because you haven't had your dessert yet - YABU. I am not the chef.

For anyone who hasn't worked in hospitality - some facts for you to take into consideration: Your waiter/waitress will have a maximum of two legs. These will be moving at optimum speed.
We can not carry food/drinks/the cheque/a high chair at the same time.
If I asked you to answer 46 emails simultaneously you would reach critical mass and quite possibly hyperventilate. Why do you think I can do this with orders?
And FINALLY- YOUR KIDS ARE NOT MY KIDS. The peas they have stamped into the carpet - the menus they have shredded on the table and the pens they have stubbed all over the napkins are NOT MY JOB.

I am paid minimum wage - £7.83 an hour to seat you, take your order, bring your food, clear your plates and give you great and attentive customer service. I am not your Nanny. I don't get paid enough for that shit.
I know that all humans are capable of saying "please" and "thank you" as they do to each other at the table... where does this go when I arrive?

People who earn less, are not worth less. You are perfectly capable of being nice to your partner/children/parents. Well I am someone's partner, someone's child and I am someone's parent.
No need to tell me to 'retrain' - for the most part I love my job and shouldn't have to consider another field because customers can't treat me like an equal.

Footnote: Your shitty TripAdvisor reports and complaints emails - make sure they are 100% necessary and accurate. People lose their jobs over these. To the two mums who emailed a horrible review about me to my boss: we have CCTV We know your son smashed that glass on purpose. My manager has seen me arrive at the table with a dustpan and brush 37 seconds after you called me. NOT "10 minutes". Luckily, I have done this job a long time and my manager didn't believe your about my "couldn't be bothered attitude". I also have hundreds of 5* feedback reviews to back this up. BUT I could have been new. We could have had no CCTV. I could be out of a job now, all because you wanted a free lunch.

Please everyone: the staff who serve you are people with bills to pay and families to provide for. Oh, and they're also human. Please do us a favour and be human back

[Smeddum]

@Justletitlie big tipper apparently, so management were so far up his arse they were coming back out of his mouth!

I was brave back then!

[sweeneytoddsrazor]

You put up and shut up or you find something else. Why should you have to. People should have manners.

[gillybeanz]

It's entry level jobs in most industries where you are treated like shit.
Some jobs it's the owners/managers that are as bad as the customers.
You are just a number to them until you become managers yourselves.
Service sector industries are well known for it, and whilst it shouldn't be like that it is true, you put up and shut up, or find something else.

[Thegreatestshowwomen]

They always say you can judge a person by how they treat waiting staff and it’s so true.
My SIL treats them like they are the muck on her shoes and she is a bitch.
DH on a couple of times has apologised to waiting staff for her rudeness and given a bigger tip.
We refuse to eat out with her now

[ificouldwritealettertome]

gillybeanz our management are actually amazing. The whole team really has your back, I couldn't do the job otherwise.

But I did once work for a Holiday Inn Express in Llandarcy (near Neath Port Talbot) where the horrible awful manager Lisa (I hope you're on mumsnet, you old goat!) let a guest grope me behind reception (all on CCTV) then gave me a disciplinary for "fraternising with guests".

If I hadn't been so young at the time I probably would have taken her down. So yes sometimes management can be just as bad

[startingtheengine]

I always try and treat people how I would like to be treated and manners cost nothing. My DS(4) knows to say please and thank you, he's especially good at thanking the bus driver when getting off the bus.

[ificouldwritealettertome]

starting that's so nice to hear! Kids with lovely manners are a delight to encounter and a credit to the parents

[sweeneytoddsrazor]

I always try and treat people how I would like to be treated and manners cost nothing

Exactly I am and always have been the same. I would be as polite to a tramp as I would to the Queen.

[Smeddum]

I drum good manners into our kids, because I want them to be able to be kind as a default. And they are. I do always tidy up any mess before we leave a restaurant too, throwback to clearing up some awful messes at work. And it wasn’t always children making the worst mess 🤮

[Thegreatestshowwomen]

fcekinghell that may be so but other professions that deal with the public don’t stand for it. If you abuse or even are very rude to someone who works for the NHS you can be chucked out.
I have just remembered the worst behaviour I have seen.
I had been going out with DH for a few weeks and went to his rugby clubs end of season party with him. DHs whole immediate family were involved in the club in some way so his parents and sister were also there.
We had gone over to speak to DHs parents who were sat with some friends they had invited when a friend of DHs dad tried to put a five point note down a waitresses top when she lent over to collect glasses.
DH told him apologise and the man said he was only having a laugh.
DH who was captain of the team went over to the manager who had organised the party and told him what had happened. The manager asked the man to leave. The man kicked off and ended up being manhandled out by four big rugby players.
I knew DH was a keeper from that moment.
DHs mum and dad and sister could not understand the fuss as the man was only having a laugh I do often wonder how DH came from that family

[startingtheengine]

Thank you if I'm very proud of how DS behaves when we are out and have been complemented on it . Fortunately he tends to keep his melt downs for at home!

[ificouldwritealettertome]

Haha no public meltdowns- parenting at it's best!

[ThumbWitchesAbroad]

YADNBU.
I can't stand to see people spoken down to and clicked at - and no, NO one should have to "Put up or shut up" about it, their management should deal with it in an appropriate fashion. Or better still, the clients should fucking learn some manners!

[vampirethriller]

I'm with you. I've been in catering for nearly 20 years on and off. Some people are appalling. Highlights include being told "there's too many of your lot in our country" (I was born here), "I bet you wish you'd got an education now don't you" (I've got two degrees), "I don't like to see women with knives in their hands" (who's going to make your dinner then, bell end?)
"we've just come back from Rome. Do you know where that is?"
"my son was sick, can you take him and wash him?"
And hotels are worse. If you wouldn't do it in your own home, please don't do it in a hotel. The more expensive the hotel the worse the behaviour for some reason.

[Smeddum]

there's too many of your lot in our country

I’m actually lost for words. What a fucking dickhead.

[KC225]

Went out for a Sunday lunch. Busy place understaffed and first day/job for the very young waitress. She was so nervous, she got almost every item wrong, spilt drinks and ended up in tears. I had to get up and give her hug. She was so sweet - I felt so sorry for her. I told the manager she was lovely would be a great asset. DH was pissed off as I left her a huge tip in cash. He said why do you over tip hopeless waiting staff. I said I don't. I over tip lovely staff who may be a bit clumsy and apologetic but are personal and try. It ended with me calling him a tight are and him saying I have more money than sense. Typical relaxing Sunday.

[PanGalaticGargleBlaster]

"I bet you wish you'd got an education now don't you"

These type of comments always amuse me given that an awful lot of people working in these industries are students supplementing their meagre incomes. I had some twat sarcastically tell me ‘you’ve done well in life haven’t you’ as I was clearing a table. I politely informed him that if he was referring to my degree in petroleum engineering and my soon to be completed masters in subsea and offshore engineering and subsequent job offer with a major oil and gas operator due to commence at the end of the academic year then he would be right and I would keep him in mind if ever I wanted to buy a house’. It was a national association of estate agents bash I was working at. I got it easy, it was the young women who got the attention of the drunk sleaze ball men who thought that a small tip was all that was required to make a move on them. Thankfully most places I worked at had strong management and such behaviour was quickly stamped on.

[Fluffyears]

I had a rude old bag tell me ‘bet you wish you’d tried harder at school’ when I was scanning her shopping. I smiled and said ‘i’m actually glad I did as I’m on
Course to get a first in my degree, do you have a degree?’ I also haddo elne ask ‘do you know who I am?’ I looked at them shrugged and said ‘no who are you?’ I still don’t really understand who they were. My dad once had it when he was a store manager and said to another member of staff ‘James, i’ve got a guy here who doesn’t know who he is!’

[tidiot]

Former waitress here, I can empathise! We also had the occasional crap review, sometimes from customers we could identify as our own and mostly untrue!
One in particular was a group of 20 something, spoilt rich kid types who asked me for a discount and free drinks throughout, then complained that I was rude, food was rubbish (not to be bias but the food was amazing) and that the manager was cruel to the staff (he was an old Chinese man who we all got along great with).
Manners cost nothing, you get better service when you use them! And don't expect the wait staff to clean up after particularly messy children, it's not 'their job'!

[PerfectlySymmetricalButtocks]

Can I add: self-clear means you clear up your shit yourself. I go to a self-clear café every day. The staff thank me for clearing my table. I laugh and say, "I'm supposed to." They say, "Yes, but not everyone does." 😭

[PerfectlySymmetricalButtocks]

Is your colleague okay ShutUpBaz?

[ificouldwritealettertome]

Some of these stories are so awful! What the actual hell is wrong with some customers? I'm going to start a petition to make tasers mandatory for all bar and waiting staff! Any drunken sleazes go too far and they get zapped! Failing that, just a big long pointy stick 😂

[PerfectlySymmetricalButtocks]

vampire I'm bristling at "There's too many of your lot in our country"! DHB is mixed race and since he was born I take comments like that personally. 😠

[sharkirasharkira]

Yanbu at all OP!

Can I also add - If you order an item that takes a long time to cook, like a well done steak or a whole chicken breast, PLEASE don't whinge at the staff that you've been waiting ages for your food! If someone behind you orders a bowl of chips or a sandwich which takes 5 minutes, its pretty obvious that they will get theirs before you. This is not the staff being incompetent, its just that yours takes longer!

If you don't want something on your meals (salad dressing, sauce etc), just let the waitress know when you order, rather than when its delivered to your table, meaning it has to be sent back and remade. Not only is the food then wasted but you then have to wait even longer. The staff are not psychic and cannot read your mind!

Also, I know tips are not compulsory but if a venue has specially set up something special for you (a buffet, a very large table, a birthday party etc etc) it would be really nice if everyone put in just £1 as a tip. This used to happen all the time in my previous job, we put on a 70th birthday party for 30 people, 3 courses, special menu, got alcohol in specially for them, did decorations, rearranged the furniture, and opening the place on an evening we would normally be closed, meaning the staff had to work and extra evening that week. Our tips for that night? £6.31, not even a quid each We put a lot of work into that to make it nice for them and they left about 5p each.

[Juells]

YANBU Both my daughters worked as waitresses when they were in college, and I couldn't believe their descriptions of the finger-snapping that went on. WTF do these entitled twats think they are?