Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not let this man stay at the bottom of the garden?

69 replies

RainbowInACloud · 22/04/2018 21:05

Our garden backs onto a canal. We have space for one mooring. Our garden is adjacent to a place where lots of boats are moored. We occasionally chat to the guy who parks his boat near ish to our housein this marina. He has asked if a friend of his can park his barge in our mooring spot for a few weeks until there's space in the marina. DH said yes without thinking. I have asked him to rescind this offer as I'm not happy with a random man having access to our garden (even though only a gate stops others entering) My thinking is that I have no clue who he is or his history or how long he will stay. If I'm honest my real concern is for the children and that potentially it is an opportunity for grooming. I do supervise the children in the garden but it's possible one would be playing at that end of the garden if I were with another child in another part of the garden. DH is being very reasonable and has said he has no issue taking back the offer. Just wanted to double check I'm not being over cautious. I like to help out and we do have a free mooring spot but it doesn't sit quite right with me. Thanks.

OP posts:
Northernparent68 · 22/04/2018 21:10

I think it depends on the ages of the children and how sensible they are, and in fairness a man in a boat at the end of the garden is no different to a man in a house at the side of your house.

user1493413286 · 22/04/2018 21:10

I’d be concerned that a few weeks would turn into months if he gets comfy. It’s your property so do whatever you feel comfortable with.
I’d want to feel comfortable in my own garden with my children so I’d agree with you.

carefreeeee · 22/04/2018 21:10

I think you sound a bit mad with your grooming worries. He's unlikely to use a canal boat to access children. But you should probably charge him

NewIdeasToday · 22/04/2018 21:11

Sounds like an over reaction to be honest. What on earth makes you think he might groom your children??

Eifla · 22/04/2018 21:11

I think you’re being ridiculous. Not everyone is a paedophile.

dangerrabbit · 22/04/2018 21:13

Isn’t there a 2 week limit on how long people can leave their boats?

ltk · 22/04/2018 21:13

Grooming seems an odd worry, but not wanting a stranger living at the bottom of your garden - fair enough.

AlonsoTigerHeart · 22/04/2018 21:13

Grooming is a big leap.
He sort out guy near you, made friends and asked him to ask you for mooring to get to the kids?

Farfetched by anyone's standard.

WorraLiberty · 22/04/2018 21:13

The grooming thing is ridiculous

Worrying about how long he might stay sounds reasonable to me.

Why not tell the guy he can't stay any longer than 'X amount' that you're happy with?

Grilledaubergines · 22/04/2018 21:13

The grooming concerns are very OTT.

Don’t ever get into this type of arrangement because they rarely end well.

EweDoEwe · 22/04/2018 21:15

I’d have a whole bunch of issues before grooming even entered my head.

Initially I’d be wanting a time limit on how long exactly he’ll be staying and a discussion about how much we’ll be charging.

Rudgie47 · 22/04/2018 21:15

It wouldnt be the grooming that I'd be worried about,its the fact that you would have no privacy in your garden, hes not paying and the arrangement may go on forever.
Just get your husband to say hes changed his mind,and he cant morr his boat.

Rudgie47 · 22/04/2018 21:16

moor that is.

Namechangedname · 22/04/2018 21:16

That's a difficult one. Especially as your husband has already agreed.

If your husband is happy to take back the offer, then I would do, especially as it's not sitting right with you.

ConfessionsOfTeenageDramaQueen · 22/04/2018 21:17

I don't think you're being unreasonable or ridiculous. Listen to your gut. Also if your husband is happy to rescind then there's no issue - let him rescind. You don't owe this completely random bloke anything.

anappleadaykeeps · 22/04/2018 21:20

Just to say, your title made me think immediately of "Mr Stink" by David Williams!

SpringSnowdrop · 22/04/2018 21:20

My only concern would be agreeing a set length of time that he has to stick to- and possibly asking for payment as it’s quite an ask if it’s not for a direct friend.
i would also want to have a cup of tea first to discuss just so you meet him first, and check he seems a thoughtful sort of person etc not prone to playing drum and bass

venys · 22/04/2018 21:23

See if you can meet the guy first and go with your gut. Maybe just set a time limit for how long he can stay.

venys · 22/04/2018 21:24

Snap Springsnowdrop!

InspMorse · 22/04/2018 21:24

If I'm honest my real concern is for the children and that potentially it is an opportunity for grooming.

Not wanting him to park his boat at the bottom of the garden because he may stay forever or it's inconvenient is one thing but grooming? YABRidiculous.

BMW6 · 22/04/2018 21:25

Isn't there a tow path alongside the canal so that anyone can walk past your garden?

EweDoEwe · 22/04/2018 21:31

How long will he want to stay.

What if a space in the marina doesn’t become available in that timeframe? Will you extend his stay.

Will he want access to fresh water. Will he want to dispose of waste (including his toilet waste) and recycling on your property?

Is there any access to the mooring that doesn't involve crossing your property.

What if he has loud boat parties with all his boat-mates every night?

Nah. Get your DH to rescind the offer.

NotTerfNorCis · 22/04/2018 21:35

I think you just don't want him on your property and your other fears come from that. I understand that, it's an intrusion by a stranger. Ask your DH how he feels about rescinding the offer (since he'd have to do it).

TheJoyOfSox · 22/04/2018 21:36

I think you’re over reacting. He won’t be able to stay at the end of your garden for more than 2 weeks, it’s a term of his waterways license that he must keep moving or Moor in an official marina or mooring spot.

He will need to get to a water tap to fill his boat with fresh water and empty his toilets, neither of which he can do from your garden, so very little chance he is planning to stop.

So why do you think he would be interested in grooming your children? It does seem strange that your first thought is he must be grooming children! Help out for r don’t help out, but I think it’s harsh you think he is a pervert.

Jessikita · 22/04/2018 21:37

I think it was rude of them to ask without offering to pay something.