Reporting a friend for Ben fraud

[username1423]

I have been thinking about it a long long time. I feel sick reporting her but at the same time sick of her dishonesty.
She is claiming benefits for her young son and a council place. She’s openly told me she gets a lot from government.

He on the other hand has a lot of money and is using her flat as a place to stay as he still lives with his mum and dad.
I didn’t report because she’s had a rough time and she kept telling me he’d use his money to pay for a place for them all soon.

However, she’s now been with this guy for about 3 years and he has a lot of money and is very flashy and open about it. Her ds even has a car seat in the back of his new Porsche sports car.
Im torn as a friend as I think she deserves to have an ok time as she’s had a rough time in last few years with ds absent dad but now she could be with this guy and living with him and working but she’s choosing to keep council place as in her words ‘she’d rather put the money on designer clothes and champagne’
Aibu to report her or should I just stay out of it. I feel like I can’t be her friend and meeting up with her is awful as recently she’s been buying things on the bf credit card and then selling them to me to get cash and I only found out she was doing it through another friend and I told her I wasn’t comfortable as the bf thought my f has bought the stuff for me as a present and doesn’t know she’s been selling me the items so when I see him I don’t say thanks and he’s told me he thinks I’m rude not saying thanks for what my friend got me etc, I’ve never told him.
She’s been so dishonest with me I feel like it’s time to report now because it’s getting way out of hand,I recently watched her pay £1k for a designer dress and then go back to her council place where he’s always there!
But I don’t want to be a nasty person!

The point seems to be that you believe she is claiming single parents benefits whilst her boyfriend is living with her, therefore she is claiming fraudulently.

Claiming what now?

Ok so i hope you can spend some time having a nice Sunday instead of tying to mock me.
I genuinely thought it’s not ok to do what that person is doing. I’ve no interest in revenge etc. I’ve said iabu and that’s that. Thanks for the genuine responses!

asked on here because I don’t think it’s ok when I know people are waiting for council places and she’s telling me that the only reason she won’t rent with him is because she doesn’t need to she’s better off staying where she is

Even if she won millions on the lottery she would still be entitled o her council house.

YABU. I'd report them. This is OUR money!

Argh! I mean YANBU!

made the point to say how he is actually living with her to the extent he has a child seat in his car.

dds grandparent has a car seat in his car though we only use it 2/3 times a year.

if she goes out he’ll be there at hers looking after her ds.

sounds like most babysitters.

you are getting very nit picky op.

I live in a council house. I would never dream of giving it up just because I had a rich boyfriend - who knows how long that could last? The only way I'd give it up is if I could afford to buy a house on my own, in my name. Otherwise I'd be taking a huge risk and doing a disservice to my DD.

So I don’t think I can really add more to this now. I did not mean to offend anyone.

Thanks for helping my understanding of how it works with having a council flat. And thank you for the responses. It really has helped.

My dad has child car seats for my daughters when we visit and we live at the other side of the country. That means exactly nothing.

I hate benefit threads. Deliberately makes people who claim anything out to be wasters which is mostly far from the truth

What a monumental pile of 💩

You are not a friend.

OP I always assume mumsnet is full of benefit cheats, as these threads always go the same way. People say keep your nose out, none of your business, you don’t know what she claims etc etc.
The fact is the friend of yours is claiming benefit while having a partner who is also giving her money. That’s not fair. It’s ripping off the state, and taking money that could go to other single mums who don’t have a rich boyfriend.
Strangely if I posted saying that I’ve been lying to the inland revenue about my earnings, in order to pay less tax, then I’d be torn apart.
It’s a strange place, mumsnet.
YANBU, she shouldn’t claim what she isn’t entitled to. And if she’s entitled to claim what she does, then nothing has been lost has it.

Battleax Are you saying you don't show your letters from the government to visitors?
Personally I frame mine. It saves people the embarrassment of having to ask to check my papers to see if I'm a fit and worthy human or not.

You must be joking upstart. The last one was my pension forecast. It had my real age on it 🤭

OP I would report. That money could (and should) go to someone who genuinely needs it.

MN get a all ragey with the 'I'm alright Jack' attitude but being an arsehole about benefits is 'none of your buisness'

Your friend is ripping the system and just like people who get paid in cash and don't pay their taxes, it's fucking wrong.

Who do you love more. Theresa May, or your mate?

You haven't specifically said what she is doing that is actually benefit fraud.

You seem to think Council House = benefits.

What are these "government letters" you have seen and how recent are they. She may well have stopped all her claims of housing benefit/council tax etc as you have said he gives her money. If so that does not mean you are automatically stripped of your council house.

As a pp said she probably does not feel its that much of a secure relationship (not married) and wouldn't want to risk the secure tenancy a council house provides. If they split up as a single mother where would she end up then?

If he lives with her and she is claiming alone then yes I see the cause for your concern but on the information you have provided she isn't actually doing anything wrong.

If he moves in officially, she stops any claims for benefits while he pays for rent, council tax, bills etc she is still not forced to give up the council tenancy. So that makes your argument of friends needing council housing invalid I'm afraid.

as the bf thought my f has bought the stuff for me as a present and doesn’t know she’s been selling me the items so when I see him I don’t say thanks and he’s told me he thinks I’m rude not saying thanks for what my friend got me etc, I’ve never told him

So enlighten him!

"Oh , 'friend' let me have this Dyson hairdryer/Pandora bracelet/pair of 7 FAM jeans for only £100 and I know for a fact it'd be £200+ in the shop. Brand new and everything. Aren't I lucky, she's a gem"

Then he knows she's not giving them as a gift, he might look at his credit cards bill and you don't look grabby but still look like you're grateful for the favour !

Ben Fraud is innocent. You leave him alone.

I live in HA accommodation.
My partner/boyfriend/whatever you want to call him (of a decade standing) has three houses and earns 4 to 5 times what I do. Until only recently I was on benefits.

BECAUSE HIS INCOME IS NOTHING TO DO WITH MINE.

He doesn't pay my bills or rent. He stays over when he feels like it. We have holidays together occasionally.
I have no security in the relationship and if I'd given up my tenancy to move into his place then I would have needed my head examining.

We could split up and I would have nothing at all and nowhere to live.

Can people on here stop being so judgy about benefits - there is more left over in unclaimed benefits than is taken fraudulently. And the tax avoidance by big companies dwarfs benefit fraud by several hundred per cent.

So no, if the OP's friend moved out of her secure tenancy to live with Champagne Charlie we wouldn't miraculously have extra NHS staff and less potholes in the roads.

MN get a all ragey with the 'I'm alright Jack' attitude but being an arsehole about benefits is 'none of your buisness'

If we ever got a clear cut account of fraud instead of these woolly fisherman’s tales, (in which the details are embroidered with every successive post but it’s still not clear whether actual laws are broken) it might be different.