Reporting a friend for Ben fraud

[username1423]

I have been thinking about it a long long time. I feel sick reporting her but at the same time sick of her dishonesty.
She is claiming benefits for her young son and a council place. She’s openly told me she gets a lot from government.

He on the other hand has a lot of money and is using her flat as a place to stay as he still lives with his mum and dad.
I didn’t report because she’s had a rough time and she kept telling me he’d use his money to pay for a place for them all soon.

However, she’s now been with this guy for about 3 years and he has a lot of money and is very flashy and open about it. Her ds even has a car seat in the back of his new Porsche sports car.
Im torn as a friend as I think she deserves to have an ok time as she’s had a rough time in last few years with ds absent dad but now she could be with this guy and living with him and working but she’s choosing to keep council place as in her words ‘she’d rather put the money on designer clothes and champagne’
Aibu to report her or should I just stay out of it. I feel like I can’t be her friend and meeting up with her is awful as recently she’s been buying things on the bf credit card and then selling them to me to get cash and I only found out she was doing it through another friend and I told her I wasn’t comfortable as the bf thought my f has bought the stuff for me as a present and doesn’t know she’s been selling me the items so when I see him I don’t say thanks and he’s told me he thinks I’m rude not saying thanks for what my friend got me etc, I’ve never told him.
She’s been so dishonest with me I feel like it’s time to report now because it’s getting way out of hand,I recently watched her pay £1k for a designer dress and then go back to her council place where he’s always there!
But I don’t want to be a nasty person!

If you can’t be around her then distance yourself from the friendship but I wouldn’t report her. Yes it’s not very ethical but it’s not illegal. If he’s that wealthy and they’re that committed then after three years they would’ve bought somewhere new together, if someone has that much cash to spare why would they want to live in a council flat? My betting is that it isn’t a stable and secure relationship and she’s keeping the flat as security for her and her son which I think is fine, though understand some might think it morally wrong.

If his money is so great why is he living with his parents? That seems odd.

Why was she selling things she bought on his card to you. And why did you buy it?

She is allowed a boyfriend staying over there is no rule to say she can't. But if he actually moves in then that's different.

Anyway not sure what to make of the thread. But I would keep out of it. They are doing nothing wrong.

So the only difference between the situation on paper and the situation in actuality is how much they’re sleeping together?

Stop being the sex police. Live your own life.

I don't know for definite the rules as they are right now this minute, but I knew someone who was prosecuted for benefit fraud as having a partner without declaring it even though they weren't living together. They had been 'dating' for about 7 years but didn't live together as simply thought they would drive each other mad ... she was claiming benefits as a 'single person' and she wasn't ... so it may not actually matter that they are not living together. I knew of someone close to my family who was committing benefit fraud: I never would have said anything, but it rankled massively and was nothing to do with jealousy.

TBH if this is just going to turn into a thread where everyone just has a go at me I’m not sure I see the point.
I’m not familiar with benefits that’s true as I’ve never claimed any. However she has shown me letters from the government and I know what she claims as she is open about it I am aware that she is covering what she’s doing up because she needed some money from him and I said why don’t you get him to transfer it to you and she said no because she didn’t want anyone to find out about it as it might affect her.

But I think I’ve seen enough on here to see iabu and will just leave it there. If it makes you feel better to continue to say iabu then that’s ok but I feel genuinely posted because
I thought someone should be reported for what’s she’s doing but I think the right thing to do is no longer be friends and leave it. Thanks for the replies!

She’s not defrauding the system so reporting her for doing so is massively unreasonable. He doesn’t live with her and her child, the child isn’t his, and he is entitled to spend his money on whatever he likes. He’s got a car seat for the little boy so he can take him and his mother out? What a fucking monster

As for keeping her council house why the fuck shouldn’t she? She’s entitled to! Maybe they don’t want to live together and prefer their relationship this way. That’s fine and totally sensible as she has a young child to consider- better than giving up a safe tenancy to move in with him and it not working out and then being stuck. Although hypothetically, he could move in with her officially (notifying the relevant people) and that would also be ok and not defrauding anyone couldn’t be?

Even if they lived together they could do so in her council flat. They wouldn't kick her out of her home.

As a single parent of one child on benefits she certainly doesn't get loads from the government either.

but I knew someone who was prosecuted for benefit fraud as having a partner without declaring it even though they weren't living together. They had been 'dating' for about 7 years but didn't live together as simply thought they would drive each other mad ... she was claiming benefits as a 'single person' and she wasn't

What utter bollocks?

You think poor people can’t claim their welfare entitlement unless they avoid dating?

You don’t have to be living together to be classed as so. It goes on other things. Don’t forget some couples to live seperatley on purpose to get more money.

It goes on finances too. He can be seen as financially supporting her because he’s buying her things a lot (not just once in a while gifts) and if any money is going from his bank account to hers will be seen as financially supporting her which is fraud.

If he is only down at living with his parents but is actually at her place this is fraud.

I’m not one to get involved in things like this. Other people’s personal lives are there’s and not mine but the posters saying they’re doing nothing wrong are wrong.

I think youve misunderstood the meaning of the word "friend" OP.

It usually doesnt mean somebody that you want to fuck over

You can be a millionaire and live in a council flat, legally..I.did, high income but not quite a millionaire， in fact I didnt apply for it either, it was advertised to the public due to low demand. You cannot actually report her for this. As long as they are financially seperate, his affairs such as his driving license go to his house etc she is unlikely to be doing anything wrong, even if he stays for months at a time （and buys her gifts or gives her a small amount toward food and bills， though the latter could be a grey area）in short, stay out of it.

sounds like you want revenge for her making money out of you. If she was having everything paid for her why would she need to buy and sell to you?

If you believe her to be committing Fraud... Report Her and it will be investigated... that's the most you can do..

Hi OP YANBU if you are certain she is committing benefit fraud and decide to report her. However be prepared to meet her wrath and lose your friendship as she is likely to suspect you were the one who reported her.

The point seems to be that you believe she is claiming single parents benefits whilst her boyfriend is living with her, therefore she is claiming fraudulently. Her boyfriend having his post delivered to his parents, whilst not living there, is also fraudulent and may make his car insurance invalid.

Potentially this is against the law and they could well be claiming for lots of money that they are not entitled to. I am surprised at others suggesting you turn a blind eye as if true they are scamming a system that is on its knees already.

I would be distancing myself from her, if I was you, as would find this too difficult to deal with. Yes, you could report her as they will look into her situation and only prosecute if your findings are true.

I think I'd mind my own business here OP.

Ok at the start you said boyfriend lived with his parents. Then you changed that to he's there 7 nights a week.

Also in your op you said the boyfriend has a car and keeps a child car seat in it.

Then later in another post you add that your friend has a posh sports car.

I would be uneasy about all this too, OP. Some time he will find out about the selling his presents for cash, as well.

Where does he get all this money from to buy a new Porsche?

There does seem to be an almighty drip feed going on

TBH if this is just going to turn into a thread where everyone just has a go at me I’m not sure I see the point.

You asked if you were being unreasonable.

You're being told you're being unreasonable.

Don't ask a question if you're afraid of the answers you may get - especially on an internet forum. Especially when it comes to interfering in other people's lives, the consequences of which could potentially be serious as a result of your actions. If you're not in full possession of the facts, or rely on "pub lawyer" knowledge of social security law, then you really shouldn't be saying or doing anything.

I think that people like you create just as much a climate of hostility towards benefit claimants as do the red-top rags the sensationalise "benefit fraud" stories. It's akin to bloody Nazi Germany, sometimes, the government's army of eager beavers snooping on and reporting people.

I asked on here because I don’t think it’s ok when I know people are waiting for council places and she’s telling me that the only reason she won’t rent with him is because she doesn’t need to she’s better off staying where she is. He says he lives with his parents to everyone but he is staying at hers.

Surely if I reported her and nothing wrong then it won’t matter anyway. I’m not going to anyway now but that’s why I was asking.

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Why can’t he have a child seat as well as her?! Me and my h have two cars with two child seats?! I made the point to say how he is actually living with her to the extent he has a child seat in his car. If she goes out he’ll be there at hers looking after her ds.