To ask what's an adult problem that nobody prepared you for?

[Midge1978]

For me it's keeping the bathroom clean. I don't think I ever saw my mother clean hers but it was always immaculate and rosey smelling. I can't seem to keep on top of the mould monster in mine!

Worn out fart clappers.

All of it if I’m being honest. I left home early at 16 and had absolutely no idea how to do anything, had to learn it all from scratch. I didn’t even know how to change a light bulb or operate a washing machine. It was a shock to my system.

I thought that once I managed to get away from the physical and sexual abuse of my family of origin, I would end up with the fantastic life I deserved. I left home at 17.

I had no idea how much the years of abuse would affect my personal and work relationships, my physical health, and my mental health.

I also didn't realise how little support there is out there. And that it was really down to me to identify unhealthy patterns and assiduously seek out help that would actually help.

That, and healthy eating. Eating fresh vegetables really boosts your health. Why did I have to discover this on my own? Did I think it was a big conspiracy?

I'm only a couple of pages in, but I LOVE this thread. It makes me realise that I am 1000% not on my own. As pretty much every single one is relatable!

Dealing with it all by yourself

Loving someone and thinking you have it all and divorce will never happen to us. The anxiety and fear of being alone. Age creeping up on me and the people I love.

Tara
Yep with you 100%

How much work having visitors for the weekend is. I love having my own home, and spare rooms for friends and their children to stay in, but bloody hell, all the bed changing and washing that goes with it. And the meal planning for people whose tastes you aren’t sure of. And tidying up to make the place presentable.

I do LOVE grocery shopping normally though. I’m 38 and don’t think the novelty of planning my own meals, buying what I want and cooking whatever I like will ever wear off.

The ever-lengthening never-ending bloody mental lists. Cleaning, shopping, cooking, work, maintenance, health, work, people, cat, work....

Dealing with everything when close relative dies.
Dealing with parents with age related health issues.
Divorce.
Marital abuse.

i Always thought that when the children were a bit older I wouldn’t worry so much. Now they are teenagers I worry more than ever!

Also that I don’t have a Pizza Hut Ice cream machine in my bedroom 😡

That my annoying siblings would become actual real friends when we were older. That after the trauma of growing up together we would turn to each other when we got older. That my lovely cousin who we also grew up with would become my best friend.

That love is more important than money. That you will fall in and out of love several times before you find the one, and he won't be who you thought he would be.

That money is important. But success and money don't guarantee happiness. And that some of the happiest times of your life were when you were skint. And that you always seem to spend what you earn, no matter what that figure is. That you need your family and your health more than money.

But ideally you have them all. Not be millionaires but enough to pay the bills and put food on the table is enough.

This is an excellent thread. It's so easy to think everyone else has a brilliant life 24/7 and yours is the only one that can be a bit shit.

Boilers and heating timers. Hate heating system timers of all sorts.
Death of pets and friends and parents. Loss generally.
Tax affairs. Impenetrable and scary.

That all decisions and their consequences are down to you.

Love this thread

Feeling that spending £20 on yourself is a luxury even when you’ve worked full time all month for £££

Tara and donkdonk here too. I suddenly understand my dgm and aunt who were both widowed in their fifties and never remarried.

They were always so desperate for me to visit and see the children. And I so rarely made time because I was stressed and busy :(

Now I think I should have asked them to help. They'd have been delighted to have been needed and I would have had a break.

Now I'm the one on my own. Dc grown up and busy with their own lives. I'm lonely and isolated and frightened of growing old and sick on my own. It's terrifying. And I can't stand any more loss in my life.

I never thought that this is what being an adult would be like for me. I just thought it happens to other people.

And you definitely get smellier as you get older😀

My partner dying before me is one thought that terrifies me.

My partner dying before me is one thought that terrifies me

I disagree! I’m not sure DH could cope on his own where as I could

@partinor I worry about it the other way around as I am my husband's carer.

Dealing with being the unwanted child.

Madroid....
Can't you join any groups to get more of a social life? Once me teenager has fledged and I have time back again, I've got a long bucket list of things I m going to do like join an art group book trips etc. Good luck for the future 💐

I never saw my mum clean the bathroom either...but it always was spotless!

No one told me that i'd be constantly thinking about food and planning what everyone is eating everyday.
That cleaning never ends and the cleaning fairy does not exist.

That when my teenage daughter took an overdose and ended up in hospital that i would be constantly watching her and on edge everyday just in case she has a bad day and tries it again.

Another for perimenopause...i thought you had some hot flushes and then your periods stopped!....Been dealing with this for 3 years now and the prospect of another 5+ years of this is not filling me with joy.

take at look at FODMAP diet for IBS

Seconding PPs who have mentioned this. FODMAPs transformed the quality and practicality of my life (If I say 10-20+ times with urgency for a 4 hour window every morning then that gives an indication of the inconvenience etc.).

I still can't eat boiled or roasted onions/garlic/leeks etc. in any quantity but I'm fine with modest portions of fried.

That some people are malicious and take pleasure in causing others pain, and will go to any lengths and lows to achieve it.