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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask what's an adult problem that nobody prepared you for?

686 replies

Midge1978 · 21/04/2018 23:22

For me it's keeping the bathroom clean. I don't think I ever saw my mother clean hers but it was always immaculate and rosey smelling. I can't seem to keep on top of the mould monster in mine!

OP posts:
dontticklethetoad · 27/04/2018 16:50

I had a wonderful childhood, but in hindsight quite spoilt (surprise late baby for parents age 40 and 50). I was never taught life basics such as how to run a car, pay bills.
My parents bought me a car and they serviced it etc until I left home. So it was no surprise when it died a horrible death because it ran out of oil. I had no idea you had to top up the oil, water etc.
Same with bills. I moved into a flat and I just thought the bills would automatically come out of my account with the rent. I ended up owing hundreds of pounds.

I think this lack of basic life skills has led to me finding life completely overwhelming.
Whilst I keep an eye on the accounts (I'm the only one able to access savings), it was a relief to hand a lot of the financial planning to dh when we got a joint account.

PurpleParakeet · 27/04/2018 17:34

Paris not wanky at all. I lost a parent young and it had a huge impact. I learned then that you can't really take anything for granted.

Now in my 50s it surprises me how many of my peers still have both parents living.

Euphrasia · 27/04/2018 17:38

I thought that when I grew up I could buy whatever I wanted if I went to college and got a good job. I got sold a pup on that!!

WhingyNinja · 27/04/2018 22:23

And there I was thinking everyone else had their shit together and I was the only one who was floundering! This thread is both comforting and a bit depressing in one go. Thanks to all those struggling right now.

bananasplits50 · 27/04/2018 22:29

Facial hair....no one prepared me for that as a female in my 40s! Bloody bearded lady has a new meaning....threading every 6 weeks is the only answer...Grin

eloisesparkle · 28/04/2018 08:28

Bad things happen to good people.
Still shocked by that.
I was sold a pup as a child.

nipersvest · 28/04/2018 11:15

Having a heart attack. Nothing prepared me for that.

It came totally out the blue, I have low cholesterol, no heart disease. And yet one morning, I had a heart attack. It was an unusual type of heart attack, in that 2 arteries spontaneously dissected, it's known as a 'scad'. I'd never heard of it until it happened to me. 6 months on, I still can't quite believe I know what a heart attack feels like Sad

pasanda · 28/04/2018 13:40

How hard parenting teens is. Especially those with fragile mental health.

I had severe PND with my first and he was an extremely difficult baby. But the pain I felt was MY pain. I could deal with that much more easily than dealing with my teenagers pain. Sad

Oh and the guilt that you're not a good enough parent and others are doing so much better than you.

Echobelly · 28/04/2018 13:42

How much time you spend washing up chopping boards

topcat2014 · 28/04/2018 17:19

@nordicnobody - I so echo your 'ordinary' thread.

I am a chartered management accountant, so, on paper that should mean high powered work in a big city for mega salary.

I work in the offices of a factory on on out of town industrial estate - and, amongst the admittedly complex work I sometimes do, I am also responsible for sorting out the milk :)

I too have unrealised potential in my head..

thisishard2 · 28/04/2018 17:30

How hard parenting teens is. Especially those with fragile mental health.

This ^

Have a teen with anxiety, and two other stroppy ones. Am going through a difficult divorce and H appears to already (2 seconds later and while still in the same house) have a new partner.

Sometimes wish I could disappear.

jamoncrumpets · 28/04/2018 17:37

It's only now I have my own DS that I realise how my teenage mental health problems must've broken my mum's heart. She was incredible throughout it all, but she must've gone to bed out of her mind with worry. It makes me love and appreciate her even more. I wish I could tell her this, but she died when I was in my twenties.

pasanda · 28/04/2018 22:49

Jamon SadSad

I can only hope that my teens appreciate how hard I try when they're older, or have dc of their own.

I know a lot of the angst is normal adolescent bollocks but sometimes it really makes me sad (like tonight!)

Kaybush · 29/04/2018 01:07

@PoisonousSmurf Why can't we just chuck them in the sea? I love my parents but oh gosh that made me laugh!

Some of the posts on here have been so sad and/or insightful but seriously, the endless housework that has made up about 70%, get a grip!

Try sticking headphones on and playing your favourite music really loud while you do it. It's a life changer! 😃😃

Kettlepotblack · 29/04/2018 18:09

Agree Kaybush - I listen to my favourite podcasts in my headphones while doing housework now and it really has made it bearable, if not enjoyable!!

Ireallywantmylifeback · 07/01/2019 03:00

Just wanted to say that I hope 9 months down the line everyone is doing ok/better/well x

rosarina · 11/01/2019 22:44
  • that saving for retirement requires paying into pension in your first job.
  • that some men will try ANYTHING to get you into bed and how to deal with this
  • that some clever people don't over-analyse everything and therefore life can sometimes be simpler!
  • that people can be selfish arseholes
  • that having children won't be delightful most of the time
  • how to really relax

... and yep, lots of the stuff others have mentioned...

rosarina · 11/01/2019 22:45

Oh and that people hide behind religion, celebrity and other things to do evil stuff to others.

Eloisedublin123 · 11/01/2019 22:49

How you have to actually clean a shower and it doesn’t wash itself 😁

pineapplebryanbrown · 11/01/2019 22:52

Caring for my parents for years and years!

Seniorschoolmum · 11/01/2019 22:57

The relentlessness of it all.

And things like clearing gutters and adjusting v-brakes on bikes.

Up until that point, I’d managed perfectly well as a single mum. But gutters.... Maybe I should consider letting a man in my house after all Smile

flumposie · 11/01/2019 22:59

How lonely and stressful being a single parent is. Makes me appreciate all my Mum did for me, but sad at how difficult it must have been for her as I am living a similar life to her now.

pineapplebryanbrown · 11/01/2019 23:01

Senior God no! Ask yourself this question: Which would be of more use to you a husband or a multi service company.

Trippedupagain · 11/01/2019 23:02

Having to work out how to clean up an enormous pile of dog vomit on the carpet.

DSHathawayGivesMeFannyGallops · 11/01/2019 23:06

Haha Eloise that was a shocker for me, too.

Probably just how unrelenting it all is! There's always something snapping at your heels. Oh, and that your 20s are hard.

No one appears to have taught my flatmate how to have a domestic routine or really keep house effectively. I really hope that one day she'll be knee deep in toddlers and this bites her hard in the ass, as she has no idea how frustrating and slatternly she is to live with.

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