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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask if you are gay/bi/straight? Favour please

97 replies

EasterRobin · 21/04/2018 10:52

I’m a mum and I’m bisexual. I’ve had so much help and support from Mumsnet through my pregnancy, miscarriages, PND, breastfeeding, post-birth injuries, child health concerns, and all the usual issues that come with being a mum. I love Mumsnet.

And it REALLY PISSES ME OFF when people who are meant to represent the gay community attack Mumsnet… because you know what? A lot of LGBTQ people have kids. And this is the main support network for gay parents in the UK, not because they’re gay… but because they have kids. I’ve been on here pretty much daily for over 4 years and I’ve never felt uncomfortable or that I had to keep my sexuality hidden. Because most people here treat gay parents as, you know, parents!

So, I have a big ask for you all… if you are comfortable with it. I’d like to get a rough idea of how many LGBTQ users there are on Mumsnet. If even just 2% of users are LGBTQ, that’s a hell of a lot of users. Please do change your username if you like, or DM me… I’m just looking for a percentage, and I don’t want anyone to feel uncomfortable.

So if you are up for it, please could you answer the following question:

  1. Are you (a) LGBTQ or (b) Straight or (c) Other/Prefer Not To Say

Thank you!

OP posts:
fourpawswhite · 21/04/2018 10:53

B

SuburbanRhonda · 21/04/2018 10:53

You’re asking for this information after the recent data breach? You having a laugh?

Oddcat · 21/04/2018 10:55

I'm just a person . I don't understand why we all have to have a label, we're all just people who's sexual orientation (in my opinion) is nobodies business but theirs.

Wanderwall · 21/04/2018 10:55

What are you going to do when you get a percentage?

EasterRobin · 21/04/2018 10:55

Shall I take that as (c) Suburban? Or if you want to take part you can dm me I will send you my personal phone number if you would prefer to text...

That's exactly why I added the (c) option!

OP posts:
FiveShelties · 21/04/2018 10:56

What will you do with the result?

SilverOnToast · 21/04/2018 10:58

What’s the purpose of this “mumsnet census”.

SuburbanRhonda · 21/04/2018 10:58

No, it’s not (c).

It’s (d) - none of your business.

EasterRobin · 21/04/2018 11:03

Wanderwall Mumsnet make their total user numbers available, so I was going to apply the percentage to the total member and visitor figures to get a rough figure of say approx 200,000 LGBTQ monthly users. I can't use the normal population % for this as the parenting and female focus will mean it is quite different.

I was hoping it would be available as a very approximate number for people to use as a defence when people make statements like "Mumsnet will come after the gays, lesbians, and bisexuals next". I've seen this on Twitter and was hoping to support my case that actually there are a lot of LGBTQ members (mostly Lesbian and Bi I think... but there seem to be plenty).

Like I say... it makes me very angry on a personal level when I see that kind of attack, because I've always felt very supported here.

But I totally understand if anyone doesn't want to reply!!! Particularly if they are LGBTQ. I'm thinking straight people would generally be ok with openly saying they are straight.

OP posts:
EasterRobin · 21/04/2018 11:05

Suburban Sure, I shall tweak that. (c) Other/Prefer not to say/ Nobody's business but my sexy-ass partner

OP posts:
SuburbanRhonda · 21/04/2018 11:07

sexy-ass partner?

Are you in the US?

🙄

EasterRobin · 21/04/2018 11:07

Five and Silver - does my answer to Wanderwall cover your questions?

OP posts:
SuburbanRhonda · 21/04/2018 11:08

I was hoping it would be available as a very approximate number for people to use as a defence when people make statements like "Mumsnet will come after the gays, lesbians, and bisexuals next".

Or you could not reply. Might be easier all round.

EasterRobin · 21/04/2018 11:08

Suburban No - but in this sunshine I'm feeling like I'm somewhere more exotic than the UK.

OP posts:
Soubriquet · 21/04/2018 11:09

I'm bi-sexual though I prefer women

Currently married to my husband but we have a live in girlfriend too

EmpressOfJurisfiction · 21/04/2018 11:10

I'm not LGBTQ, I'm lesbian. To me nowadays the alphabet soup represents the transactivist community who if anything are anti-lesbian & anti-women in general.

On the Million Women Rise march recently (which was brilliant), there were plenty of lesbians but in the flood of red & white/green/purple the rainbow was conspicuous by its absence, except on a couple of passive-aggressive placards about including "ALL women".

EasterRobin · 21/04/2018 11:11

Suburban Yes, not replying is always easier.

OP posts:
FiveShelties · 21/04/2018 11:12

If you feel that straight people will be ok answering, what affect will this have on your results?

DickensianHysteric · 21/04/2018 11:12

Admittedly I'm not great at stats, but how is a random percentage taken from users who a) happen to see this thread and b) respond (and respond truthfully which you can't know) going to give you an accurate picture? Confused

EasterRobin · 21/04/2018 11:17

Empress I take your point. I wasn't sure whether to say LGB (I was first engaged in gay politics in the 90s when it was just referred to as LGB) but didn't want to bring in the T or not T debate as it's such as hot topic right now, so tried to go with what I think is the current norm.

OP posts:
Woshambo · 21/04/2018 11:17

B. But u never know how ur life goes and what the future holds. Sexual preference is a spectrum including if u think girls are pretty etc.

U never know, if me n my OH split up I may fall in love with a woman, I've very attracted to personalities and never rule anything out just coz I don't feel that way this minute. So B so far lol.

bestBuddyBestPal · 21/04/2018 11:18

9 posters in and this is being turned into yet another anti-trans thread?

This is a really stupid and pointless thread, basically flawed in every single way.

I'm b / d, by the way. Had a snog with a girl in the Upper 6th. Felt a bit grotty afterwards.

EasterRobin · 21/04/2018 11:19

Five It would make the % of LGBTQ users seem smaller than it actually is. I expect it will still be a high user number so I'm ok with that. Like I say... this is looking for a rough figure.

OP posts:
SilverOnToast · 21/04/2018 11:21

Like many, I prefer the term GSD (gender sexuality diverse) to the ever growing LGBTQQIA as it feels more inclusive. I still don’t really know what I am so I don’t really know what to put, though I would say that I am GSD, if that makes sense?

I see quite a few flaws with your research methods, but do find research in this area interesting. Good luck!

TERFragetteCity · 21/04/2018 11:24

Just be aware that not everyone is who they say they are.

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