To ask if you are gay/bi/straight? Favour please

[EasterRobin]

I’m a mum and I’m bisexual. I’ve had so much help and support from Mumsnet through my pregnancy, miscarriages, PND, breastfeeding, post-birth injuries, child health concerns, and all the usual issues that come with being a mum. I love Mumsnet.

And it REALLY PISSES ME OFF when people who are meant to represent the gay community attack Mumsnet… because you know what? A lot of LGBTQ people have kids. And this is the main support network for gay parents in the UK, not because they’re gay… but because they have kids. I’ve been on here pretty much daily for over 4 years and I’ve never felt uncomfortable or that I had to keep my sexuality hidden. Because most people here treat gay parents as, you know, parents!

So, I have a big ask for you all… if you are comfortable with it. I’d like to get a rough idea of how many LGBTQ users there are on Mumsnet. If even just 2% of users are LGBTQ, that’s a hell of a lot of users. Please do change your username if you like, or DM me… I’m just looking for a percentage, and I don’t want anyone to feel uncomfortable.

So if you are up for it, please could you answer the following question:

1. Are you (a) LGBTQ or (b) Straight or (c) Other/Prefer Not To Say

Thank you!

I'm not LGBT, I'm bisexual. I have very little in common with gay men, I am certainly not anything to do with the "T" which is gender identity, not sexuality anyway and I'm fortunate enough not to be the target of rape apologists and lesbophobia in the way that lesbian women are, because I married a man.

Bisexuals have our own battles to fight but it's hard when so many of us seem to be running around panicking that we're transphobic for being bi instead of "pan", and berating lesbians for not accepting penis we could be combating bi erasure and the idea that once you settle down with someone, you're either gay or straight now, but no, it's easier to fall in line with the "we're all in it together" LGBTQ+++ dogma and berate "TERFs".

So I'm a woman who likes women and men.

(a) lesbian, and it doesn't bother me to say it.

I'm in a same sex relationship but don't care much for the lgbtqi+ whatever other letters they want to add.

Is anyone saying the Lib Dems invented anything?

Is is evident, though, that their LBGT twitter feed is a font of sexist abuse.

With a female partner and two kids from a previous male partner .
I don’t do labels: i is me

You find someone you like............

Op I think you are being given an unnecessarily hard time here.

I do believe that asking for comments on a thread is not a reliable way of getting statistics, as it will be a small sample, and a skewed one too (as only posted on a certain part of the forum).

Perhaps best to ask mnhq? They may know. Data about users is useful to them, as they use it to sell advertising space.

And everyone complaining about the breach, I see daily chats about far more personal issues (eg sexual dysfunction).

Why OP? Who cares? If you're on here you can post on any thread you like as a gay/ lesbian/ bisexual/ transgender parent. You can post as a grandparent, as a dad, as a Pigletjohn who gets called on regularly. As a dog/ cat/ exotic animal owner. As a parent, someone who is ttc, someone who can't have children or who hasn't ever wanted them. As someone who has disabilities or MH issues, as someone with an addiction. Someone suffering a loss of a child, parent, partner. No-one knows or cares as far as I've seen as long as you don't become inflammatory because of your previously undisclosed status. If someone on another website wants to slag off MN why does it matter? They don't know you're a MNetter unless you tell them surely?

Hello. Pansexual mum of 4 here :) currently in gay relationship.

LGBTQ and proud 🌈

I don’t see how this can be anywhere near accurate, but it’s interesting to you so I’ll give an answer. I thought I was maybe bi at one point and I still find women sexually attractive. I’ve only ever had sex with men though and I’m with a man now and have two children. I reckon that must mean I’m straight.

No idea why some posters are being so unkind though. Good luck.

shitshitshitty Can I ask (as you seem confident and comfortable) what exactly it means to be pansexual? Does it mean you would have sex with anyone with any ‘label’ if you felt attracted to them? I feel like I know but asking someone who says they are seems more reliable. Ironic really given this is a anonymous forum. Would you not exclude anyone?

I consider myself pansexual because gender doesn't come into my attraction to people. Some people seem to think I should just class myself as bisexual but bisexual is an attraction to men and women.
I have dated men, women, non binary/ genderfluid and FTM trans. I would also date MTF if I liked the person.

So I feel like pansexual is a more open and better description for me.

Hearts not parts ;)

And it's not just about sex (not for me) it's about who I would have a relationship with. I've never had a ONS. I won't even kiss someone I'm not in a relationship with.

Shitshitshitty Thank you for replying to me. It’s pretty much what I though then. I see my error in saying solely sex but I did mean in regards to a relationship rather than a one night stand. I quite like the “hearts not parts” thing. Not sure it would fully apply to me but I do like it.

No worries.

I find sexuality such an interesting thing.

The 'hearts not parts' quote is super cute. I do like it but obviously it doesn't fit everyone's sexual preferences. But for pan people it's a nice little summary.

I’m straight, however sometimes I wonder if men are too much hassle and to revert to lesbian. 😊
I completely back the lgbt 🏳️‍🌈 community, my uncle is gay and I have several friends who are. I thinks it wonderful I now have more people to discus hot guys with 😂 to me they are still the same people they were before you knew they were gay they just happen to have the same interests in sexual partners as me 😊

I'm bi but prefer women. My husband is one of a handful of men who have caught my eye and I love him very much but if I hadn't been lucky enough to meet him I'd definitely have a female partner (or be single I suppose)

Im B, straight.

Unless youre actively talking about something related to your sexuality, I dont think its really relevant.

Rather then attempt to get numbers you maybe better having a look at the LBQT section.

Its also worth considering many users may have gay or bisexual children.

Im B, straight.

Unless youre actively talking about something related to your sexuality, I dont think its really relevant.

Rather then attempt to get numbers you maybe better having a look at the LBQT section.

Its also worth considering many users may have gay or bisexual children.

Thank you for all who've posted so far. Including those who don't want to specify. As you say, it isn't anyone's business so I'm not offended by anyone who wouldn't want to share the information. To be honest, I'm amazed a thread about sexuality has got this far in the "expressive" world of AIBU with only one comment deletion.

I will ask MNHQ if they have these stats already and are willing to share them with the wider world, although I would be surprised if they collected that information, due to the sensitivity of the subject. Definitely worth asking though.

It's an interesting point about parents of gay children using the site. And not one I'd considered previously because I've not been thinking of them as part of the "gay community" supposedly represented by the likes of the Lib Dem LGBT+ executive (which is pushing the deeply insulting idea of Mumsnet as pro Section 28 and as a homophobic website that will be after the gays next). But parents of gay children are indeed interested parties.