To throw a BBQ today without the most basic and fundamental thing? (lighthearted)

[elfycat]

I've invited some friends and their children round.

I have:

Cleaned the BBQ, ordered charcoal, snipped bay leaves to add to the smoke.

Mowed the grass, blocked potential toddler escape routes, put tools away. Set up tables and chairs.

Filled the fridge with meat and salad. Roasted veg chopped, potato salad made.

Stocked up on condiments. Ketchup. mayo, relish, yellow mustard and those plastic cheese slices.

Have wine, beer, lager, mixers, non-alcoholic options. One drawer in freezer is filled with ice (and sorbet). I'm making Long Island Ice Tea, Woo Woo and Blue Lagoon cocktails in jugs. My drinks cabinet is... extensive.

But as I was washing up the BBQ tongs I realised that I am missing one vital part of the BBQ plan. Something so basic that it might all come to a grinding halt (even with all the booze). What is it?

Just self-ID as a bloke for the afternoon. It also gives you the freedom to take your top off if you get hot. You don't have boobs if you call yourself Colin. Duh.

A couple of weeks ago, I would have advised you not to go ahead.

However, a recent incident made me realise that anything is possible.

Our shower was out of action for a couple of days while we got new tiles. I went to have a bath instead, only to discover that the only bubble bath in the house was DH's Radox muscle soak, the ginseng and black pepper one which is now only for men.

I used it anyway.

I did not grow a penis, and the apocalypse did not ensue.

So I say go ahead.

This thread is fucking hilarious! 😂😂😂

Op, I'll have to admit I think you're being awfully brave.

I couldn't do it.

Literally. I have trouble lighting candles. As the world's worst arsonist, I can't keep matches alight.

For those who need closure

(Dislaimer: I'm Pished)

I lit the BBQ. It worked. I cooked stuff. The salads worked and I got compliments n shit. Cocktails also worked really well.

No one got hurt!

I now have hiccups. There are 3 drinks that belong to me still hanging hanging around, The wood-burner is on incinerating a carving from an ex of one of my guests

Woo Woos. Yay. Long Island Iced Tea - Got complaints about the alcohol strength... sod em. That's why It takes time to type

Sounds like a perfect day

Thanks for the update OP. I have been worrying about you all day and checking the news sites for stories of catastrophic explosions and flooding.

I'm glad it went well. I will sleep easy tonight.