To throw a BBQ today without the most basic and fundamental thing? (lighthearted)

[elfycat]

I've invited some friends and their children round.

I have:

Cleaned the BBQ, ordered charcoal, snipped bay leaves to add to the smoke.

Mowed the grass, blocked potential toddler escape routes, put tools away. Set up tables and chairs.

Filled the fridge with meat and salad. Roasted veg chopped, potato salad made.

Stocked up on condiments. Ketchup. mayo, relish, yellow mustard and those plastic cheese slices.

Have wine, beer, lager, mixers, non-alcoholic options. One drawer in freezer is filled with ice (and sorbet). I'm making Long Island Ice Tea, Woo Woo and Blue Lagoon cocktails in jugs. My drinks cabinet is... extensive.

But as I was washing up the BBQ tongs I realised that I am missing one vital part of the BBQ plan. Something so basic that it might all come to a grinding halt (even with all the booze). What is it?

Music? butter?

it will be the best bbq ever

chicken is often good to oven cook first
and yes, you tube i t
wait til charcoal is white
women can do it!

perhaps you can take turns to wear the -willy-- chef's hat!

The grill!

That's sounds like bliss. Meat, cocktails, women only... Sigh... I'm very jealous.

Chap here. In Thailand, Laos, Vietnam and loads of other countries women can be found everywhere expertly grilling chicken and fish on small charcoal braziers at all hours. You'll be fine.
That said, I would drop by if in Suffolk. It sounds ace.

Piece of cake! My partner can't bbq. He does the salads while I dice with death grill the meat on the BBQ

A couple of years ago, my aunt invited us to a BBQ. When we turned up, she and her daughters had been trying to light it for over an hour. DP did it in 5 minutes lol. If we were nearer, I'd send him over!

You really don't need a man to have a BBQ! (Single Mum here!)

Ketchup? Can't have a bbq without that! (According to DS anyway)

The hardest part is getting it lit - just use loads of fire lighters and job done 😁

I've BBQ'd before. |It just occurred to me how DH would be found swigging beer and cooking meat while i was in the kitchen still making salad, and politely making my guests go and drink and not be bothered helping me.

Of course DH would do some massive garden project the day before, with a TON of clearing up/runs to the dump to be done on BBQ day. I've just pottered and got ready. It's been bliss.

However Tesco have just tried to deliver a bottle of Triple Sec with the security tag still on. The Long Island Iced Tea is now in jeopardy. He's going to drop of off after 1pm...

Substituting for Sangria in the meantime.

Well, if you can't get a random man off the street you'll just have to use the oven

It is against the law to do a BBQ without a man - preferably one in a 'man barbequing' apron.

And if you do find one who is willing to do this for you, you must not interfere even if it's to say the sausages are now alight.

Enjoy your day!

do you have a ds op?

Hmmm...surely that means you’ll have cooked meat....not raw or incinerated. I feel it’s a GOOD thing.

Plus, even if you don’t, you have lots of alcohol so no one will care 🤣😂

Hope you have a fab time 😋🥂

You can't barbeque without a man!! What are you, some kind of feminist? ! Get yourself in the kitchen and turn the oven on!

(Sounds ace though. Can't remember the last time we bbqd - dh reckons it's not worth all the trouble for the kids to eat one burger each.)

How dare Tesco jepordise your Long Island iced tea!!! You need to tweet the chief exec

Ok. Don’t panic. Here. Is. A. Plan.

Wear trousers.
Possibly double- pant for protection dependent on bravery.
Go to drinks cabinet/ spirits bottles.
Pour double shot of vodka or gin.
Go to fully meat stocked fridge.
Take out speciality pork produce.
Pop cold sausage down trousers.
Neck shot.
Try not to squeal at slimy-cold-meat-feel.
Neck another shot.
Walk proudly into garden, swinging groin proudly.

BBQ with pride.

Being careful not to catch sausage on hot coals.

Did the charcoal actually arrive?

Are you sure you should go ahead? It sounds as though you are taking a massive risk. You might end up with perfectly cooked meat and no food poisoning. You might not have enough clearing up to do afterwards too. Maybe you should cancel and go do some knitting instead? 😉

I don't know, OP. I'm seriously worried for you now.

Aren't there laws against this type of thing? 😟

The real tragedy is you don't have brown sauce.

I've been mistaken for a man a few times can I be of service?

Do you have a garden? Would be tricky to BBQ without one...

All sounds good to me. What have you forgotten?

i am getting a hair cut later, i also have a stray chin hair, i could come?