AIBU to wonder why everyone has cleaners these days!

[Storm4star]

Ok, please don’t take offence, I say this somewhat in jest. But my goodness how many of you have cleaners?? I have been utterly ripping the pee out of a male colleague at work because he and his wife have a cleaner but I hadn’t realised how common it’s become until I joined MN!

I personally struggle to justify spending my hard earned cash on things I could do myself (also do most of my own decorating and DIY). But have I missed something? Is a cleaner now the new must have?

Does the idea that you should do ALL your own cleaning/washing/cooking/decorating/maintenance/gardening come from days when the woman looked after the house and the man brought in the income?
I think this was a more middle class thing- I think women usually went out to work in poorer working class families.
So, to me, the idea that you would have time to personally do all these jobs because you didn’t have to work for your living makes you the ‘posh’ ones...

Dandellion
Deep down some people believe they're not posh enough to employ a cleaner. The thought of enjoying a cleaner makes them feel awkward and unsure because they're not from the background where cleaners are a part of daily life. These people resent feeling awkward and inferior (in their minds) so to address the balance they ridicule those who are comfortable having a cleaner.

It's Psychology 101.

Yes, there are plenty of inferiority complexes on display in this thread.

As I explained upthread, I have a cleaner because I'm disabled. I don't look down on her as suggested by someone, she is more like a friend and after she has cleaned she sits down for a chat while I ply her with sherry until she rolls home a short while later. She is paid £13 an hour which is the going rate round here. I have a gardener for the same reason. He is paid £18 an hour and prefers lager. I can afford them because I go without other things, I don't have a car, haven't been on holiday for years, rarely buy a takeaway, buy very few clothes or shoes or handbags or anything else much. You don't have to be rich, it's what you prioritise in life.

i'm a sahm and have a cleaner 3 times a week, i wouldn't clean/tidy to her standard.we pay £150 a week

It's not a "posh thing" for me either. I could easily afford a cleaner but choose not to because I quite like cleaning plus various other reasons. Undoubtedly there are those that would like a cleaner but don't though because it seems "posh" though and those are the people that seem to judge others for it. Either that or they are just jealous. I just think it is a question of priorities.

For me it’s not posh it’s practical. We don’t have the time and the cleaner twice a week makes our life’s work. It means that after work and over the weekend, our time is our own without having to clean, change the beds, wash or iron, hoover etc. She also pays the gardener and window cleaner for us, puts away the Tesco’s shopping and cooks meals for the freezer. DH and I use to joke that if we split up, we wouldn’t argue as to who got the DC’s but would fight over the cleaner. Over the years she has become a friend even though we don’t see much of each other as she comes when we’re at work.

Quite a few people here have said they have a cleaner because they’re “no good at it” as you said yourself, it’s not rocket science so why is it so hard?

I think most posters saying that, said they don’t like it and they’re not good at it, not just that they are not good at it.
Not being good at something doesn’t necessarily equate to that thing being “so hard”. I imagine I’m not good at cleaning because

• I’m unenthusiastic about it. I knew nothing about cooking either when I left home, but because I love food and get pleasure from feeding people, I put in the hours following recipes to become a decent home cook.
• lack of practice and knowledge (initially) , - my mum, and her cleaner! did everything when I was growing up so it was a rude shock when I had to paddle my own canoe
• I’m a bit kak-handed and disorganised. I’m also useless at folding, wrapping and was rubbish at sewing too once it got beyond hand sewing tiny stuffed animals to the pattern-cutting and sewing machine level. I just got in a Laurel & Hardy mess.
• I’m really short and feeble and have a bad back, so doing proper cleaning means schlepping a folding step around with me as I can’t reach lots of our windows or cupboards to put away and I hate wrangling the vacuum up and downstairs.

When I clean, I do a decent job, but it probably takes me 3 times as long as a professional. Same with the garden, although I currently do that myself. I’m sooo slow at weeding. Fuck knows why.

If I loved cleaning, I’d have persisted and be better at it. As it is, I was always a grudging cleaner. I get no pleasure from it at all.

I dare say working on an assembly line isn’t “so hard” but if you just plonked you or me on one, it would take time and application to match the work rate of experienced colleagues.

I have friends who enjoy ironing, and a lonely one who likes cleaning, but they hate cooking leaving it to their OH or bunging convenience meals in the oven. Whatever works.

Most of our friends don’t have cleaners, but some have expressed hope and longing!

I had forgotten that my DMiL said she knew they were poor when they got married because they couldn't afford help in the house. They weren't poor by most people's standards, but her mother had help in the house so she expected to too.
Absolutely sexist. My FiL did all the gardening (as well as a demanding job) and her domain was the cooking and housework.
I think things should have moved on from there but if he runs the Hoover round DH still thinks he is helping me, rather than sharing chores.
Which is why we have a cleaner...

This post is very time appropriate for me as I was laughed at by a male friend this morning for employing a cleaner to start this week. I'm currently on maternity leave (I think this was the 'funny' bit?). I end up cleaning when DH has a day off because there is no way I could clean the bathroom and ensuite fully, dust whole house and hoover, including skirting boards/cob webs and deep clean the kitchen while doing the family washing and looking after a baby (currently sleeping a maximum of 2 hours straight at night) all day. Our family time is minimal over the period of a week and therefore we are choosing to change this and pay someone to clean our house. I fully take on board that we are lucky to be able to afford to do so but the insinuation from friend was that I am lazy and the next comment was 'when are you going to employ a nanny?' The cleaner was recommended by some of my NCT friends who employ her and are also on Mat leave.
Oh well, I'm fully prepared to be laughed at now so this post has not surprised me!

I have a cleaner because my husband is rubbish at cleaning and ironing.

But yeah it's only on mumsnet that people have cleaners

No it’s not, in many places, including where I live it’s totally the norm. I don’t think I know anyone who doesn’t have a cleaner. In fact, my mum is horrified I only have one once a week. Her and my dad still have a cleaner twice a week, a gardener once a week and an ironing lady once a week. They’re both in top health by the way, it’s just utterly normal in their circles. People on mumsnet span a wide range of backgrounds and experiences and we all spend money how we see fit. I don’t have a cleaner because I work hard or because my hours are long or anything like that but simply because I can’t be arsed to do my own cleaning although obviously do have to do some cleaning as I like a clean and tidy house.

It's strange the bias that gets put on certain things. I would rarely pay a mechanic if my car broke down, because my dad taught me how to fix basic engine problems. Should I look down on everyone who pays someone else to do something that they could easily do themselves if they just read a book or two? Complain about the days when people were truly salt of the earth and knew how to change a tire themselves?

No, because it is none of my business (or my interest, tbh) what other people choose to spend their money on.

It avoids arguments over cleaning and who does what. It buys back time for our family to spend together and or do things separately.

The cleaner does a better job than I ever could. It provides employment for someone.

I'm thinking of suggesting that my retired, fit and healthy parents get a cleaner for the first time.

My mum has spent her life cleaning up after a family and can now afford a few luxuries so why not?

Does there need to be a reason other than I can't be bothered to clean and I can afford it?

they'll never get one as my mum will see it as a waste of money but I'm going to twist her arm

We have a cleaner. DH works away most of the week, I leave the house at 7.30 and usually get back about 8. I'm 4 months pregnant. Do I want to spend my spare time cleaning? No.

Fair play if you like it, if you get a sense of satisfaction from it (my mother does), but I never, ever have. If the finances work out, I will definitely keep my cleaner when on mat leave.

I get a sense of satisfaction over having a clean house. I just prefer that someone else cleans it.

umpireStrikesBack - we have a helper/housekeeper as well, who did pretty much all you had written in your post.

I'd say 90% of families here have helpers - my God they make life easier. Find a good one and they can reduce the mental load by a significant amount!

Our previous helper is now with a new family so instead we have a cleaner who comes in and does everything around the house but doesn't collect the kids from school or do homework.

Deep down some people believe they're not posh enough to employ a cleaner. The thought of enjoying a cleaner makes them feel awkward and unsure because they're not from the background where cleaners are a part of daily life. These people resent feeling awkward and inferior (in their minds) so to address the balance they ridicule those who are comfortable having a cleaner.

It's Psychology 101.

Yep - exactly this.

I felt some guilt about having a cleaner as self employed some weeks super busy some less busy. Dh hired a team to come every Friday and initially wouldn't give me their details so I couldn't cancel them if quiet. Busier now and very thankful for this team of men who come and attack house every week.

WHO CARES!!!!!! Have a cleaner. Don’t have a cleaner.

Have a nanny or don’t have one.

Work or be a SAHM

Who cares???!!!!!! You certainly shouldn’t. It’s not hurting you so why do you care who’s has a cleaner and who doesn’t?

It boggles my mind why people actually care that much about this issue that they would post about it.......not to mention rip the piss out I’d a colleague for having a cleaner!

I work from home and only do part time Ish hours and I love having a cleaner! But then I hate cleaning. I don’t think I would ever want to be without one. I do know some people, as evidenced on here, who actually like cleaning but I would rather shut the door on the house and get out and enjoy a day. We are not loaded by any stretch but it’s worth paying for for me. I would have a cook too if I could!

We are a cleaning company and have around 100 weekly or fortnightly clients. We are at the top end of pricing.

I would say our client base is and always has been about 50/50 wealthy clients vs ordinary hard-working people similar to ourselves who just like what we do, want us and can manage to afford it by going without another treat, such as meals out or other luxury items. We are their chosen additional expense because we make their lives run smoother.

Almost everyone who has me round to quote them for service says to me 'I just cannot keep on top of the cleaning with us both working full-time and having the children to care for, we would like our weekends back as family time not just for cleaning the house'.

There is absolutely no shame in hiring a cleaning service no matter what your income as long as it is affordable for you. It's supporting business, we want the work and it helps our business to thrive, keeps the staff and the owners in jobs and it helps lives to run more smoothly at the same time.

It's a transaction that benefits everyone involved.

The reason that cleaning services are struggling to meet the demand in which they find themselves to be in most times is simply because modern life is making it more and more impossible to juggle life keep all the balls in the air. Cleaning is usually one of the first balls to be dropped and has become more of an essential service to many - not purely the luxury it used to be.

I have a cleaner because I work full time and can afford it. I’m also a lazy bitch.

About a third of the families I know have cleaners and most people I know who earn enough to afford one have one.

We have one because I hate cleaning and don't want to spend our precious family weekends scrubbing when we can afford to pay someone else to do it while we're not around. Not sure why this is a hard / complicated concept to understand?

It's common on mn but depends where you live in RL. I come from a working class background and my mum is scandalised that I have a cleaner! She tells me she hopes I clean before she comes do the cleaner doesn't think I'm a slattern

It takes two hours max to do everything for a thorough clean. During the week bathrooms are kept up with spraying them down before I get in the shower and DH vacuums through every night.

tbh, there are other thing I'd rather be doing with my time, than vacuuming every night not that I've EVER done that, in all the 30 odd years before I had a cleaner.

I have the money through being pretty tight in some other areas of spending and I choose to buy 'time' rather than 'things'.

We’ve had cleaners on and off for about 19 years. When you’re both working g f/t, or as near to dammit, or have young kids, it’s a massive time and energy saver and so nice to come back to a clean house. When I didn’t have one, it was never done all in one go.