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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to wonder why everyone has cleaners these days!

648 replies

Storm4star · 20/04/2018 21:49

Ok, please don’t take offence, I say this somewhat in jest. But my goodness how many of you have cleaners?? I have been utterly ripping the pee out of a male colleague at work because he and his wife have a cleaner but I hadn’t realised how common it’s become until I joined MN!

I personally struggle to justify spending my hard earned cash on things I could do myself (also do most of my own decorating and DIY). But have I missed something? Is a cleaner now the new must have?

OP posts:
Original poster
Storm4star · 21/04/2018 13:30

Well I have now clarified.

OP posts:
Original poster
Storm4star · 21/04/2018 13:31

Sorry that was to previous poster who said about sexism, yes I am shocked when women and men cannot do basic DIY.

OP posts:
Jenasaurus · 21/04/2018 13:32

I only know one family with a cleaner, and that's because the wife has a phobia about touching toilets! The thing is they are struggling financially and my first thoughts when she asked me how to better manage her finances was to suggest doing her own cleaning.

Dungeondragon15 · 21/04/2018 13:34

Quite a few people here have said they have a cleaner because they’re “no good at it” as you said yourself, it’s not rocket science so why is it so hard?

I think that only one person has said that. Most people have just said they don't like it. The person who is "no good" perhaps just hasn't had any practice. Perhaps they could be excellent if they put their minds to it but why bother if you don't like it and can afford to employ someone else?

m0therofdragons · 21/04/2018 13:34

We had one up until recently (sadly she was rubbish or we'd still have one). Dh and I both work and hate cleaning. We also get decorating done by someone most of the time too. We painted DD's room but it took 3 evenings painting until midnight so won't be having a crazy idea like that again.

My parents had a cleaner when I was younger too. I guess it's normal if it's what you're used to.

m0therofdragons · 21/04/2018 13:38

Just realised, my 91yo grandmother has had a cleaner for as long as I can remember. How very modern of her Hmm (she also has a gardener)

Dungeondragon15 · 21/04/2018 13:40

I only know one family with a cleaner, and that's because the wife has a phobia about touching toilets! The thing is they are struggling financially and my first thoughts when she asked me how to better manage her finances was to suggest doing her own cleaning.

So they employ a cleaner even though they can't afford it because the "wife" has a phobia. Is there any reason why the husband can't do it? Why is it the "wifes" job?

DiamondsBestFriend · 21/04/2018 13:42

I would never have won any prizes as a domestic goddess even before I had a cleaner and I used to think that it was wrong given I was home with the DC etc.

But then I fell seriously ill and my family and partner convinced me to get a cleaner just to do the harder jobs once every couple of weeks.

Because the alternative is if I do them then I spend the next two days in bed exhausted and I’m still not a domestic goddess. Grin.

But ultimately there are people who spend their money on three or four bottles of wine a week, or a couple of takeaways, or fancy holidays or the latest flat-screen television.

I’m quite happy to have a cleaner and I don’t drink. And who cares why anyone spends the money they do really? Even if someone employs a cleaner because they’re simply a slattern and paying someone else to do it fills that gap, what concern is it of anyone else’s?

I wonder why people have children and then hire a nanny for instance. But it’s their money and their life so what concern is it of mine? If you want to clean your own house then crack on. I don’t.

EnthusiasmIsDisturbed · 21/04/2018 13:42

findingmyfeet12 I didn’t do anything when living at home either reason being I would have to do it when I had my own place

I manged fine and was expected to

I work long hours and it’s a stressful job plus juggling as I am a sp but most manage when they have to house work and basic cooking isn’t difficult it’s boring I listen to audio books or music makes the time go faster

If I could afford a cleaner I would have one I think every other week but only so I could get out of it it’s not a necessity (for the majority)

BackforGood · 21/04/2018 13:47

For the record I have an adult son and daughter. Both can do DIY, both can do cleaning. As it should be.

My grown dc can too. As can I. As can dh. We did when we were young, as we didn't have the money for it to be any other way. Now, however, it seems pretty logical that, as I earn quite a lot more than I pay out for a cleaner, and she is FAR more efficient at cleaning than I am,and it isn't something I particularly enjoy and it is income for her, that I employ a cleaner.
I also employ a decorator too, for the same reasons - they do it FAR better than my skills allow (although I used to when we didn't have money), and I can earn more than I have to pay out per hour / day, so it doesn't make sense for me to do it.
I am quite confused why you see this as something odd.

Want2bSupermum · 21/04/2018 13:47

I do find it funny to read the comments about long hours and spending a whole day cleaning. Why is one person in a household responsible for cleaning? As I've said to my DH, we both bring money in and we both make a mess so we can both clean it up.

It takes two hours max to do everything for a thorough clean. During the week bathrooms are kept up with spraying them down before I get in the shower and DH vacuums through every night.

TheProvincialLady · 21/04/2018 13:47

Most of the people I know have a cleaner. We have a cleaner (currently two cleaners actually, you’d really hate me!). I cook all my own food from scratch and see this as a better use of my limited time than getting home from work at 6pm, cleaning the house and serving up a takeaway or freezer dinner to my family. The cleaner costs less than takeaway/ready meals would. I still do plenty of cleaning, just not jobs like vacuuming the stairs. If I did it all I would be exhausted and my cleaner would be out of a job. Who benefits from that?

TheProvincialLady · 21/04/2018 13:51

Oh and I used to be a cleaner when I was younger, because I didn’t earn enough in my first job. I don’t see it as demeaning work.

Woshambo · 21/04/2018 13:52

@expatmatt78 lmao no chance. He does with exercising the dogs but the housework is mostly me. He confuses tidying with cleaning. It's slowly but surely changing since finding out I'm pregnant but not quick enough!

I work more hours than him but get 3 days off and his job is hard physically which was always his excuse previously. Not anymore. I found reading a lot of responses to threads on this site very helpful in explaining to him how I'm not coping well and need more help.

I'm not great with words or confrontation I get frustrated at not being able to get the right words out and it used to turn into arguements. As I said, until some helpful comments by users on other posts.

There are some really helpful ppl with good advice on here.

Dandellion · 21/04/2018 14:00

Deep down some people believe they're not posh enough to employ a cleaner. The thought of enjoying a cleaner makes them feel awkward and unsure because they're not from the background where cleaners are a part of daily life. These people resent feeling awkward and inferior (in their minds) so to address the balance they ridicule those who are comfortable having a cleaner.

It's Psychology 101.

Snowysky20009 · 21/04/2018 14:01

I have cleaner because if I didn't I would be stuck in bed for two days after (disabled).
Have to be honest though they aren't the most efficient. Some days I say leave the bedrooms and just do the bathroom, living room and kitchen. I go in after and 'move' things- yep they just clean 'around'. Waiting for a new cleaner who is brilliant but she hasn't a spot yet 😩

Snowysky20009 · 21/04/2018 14:02

Dandellion that's interesting.

findingmyfeet12 · 21/04/2018 14:02

dandelion I sort of agree with you.

I come from a background where no one had a cleaner and it does still feels "posh" to me even though it makes financial sense and I can afford the "luxury".

blackheartsgirl · 21/04/2018 14:09

If you have a cleaner in my area you are either rich or a snob.

Not my opinion btw..Just local estate opinion

But yeah it's only on mumsnet that people have cleaners

Mumsnet answer to everything..get a cleaner!

Mumto2two · 21/04/2018 14:09

I am probably the only person I know...who still cleans their own house. Whether they are full time, part time or stay at home.
My teenage daughter was wondering last week, why my neighbour was having bin bags thrown outside her door every week...the cleaner is leaving them out to be picked up by the laundry vans, I explained. Oh..she said. Do we have that too? Er no!?! The magic cleaning fairy runs around and does it all...Hmm

Dandellion · 21/04/2018 14:19

Findingmyfeet21 we had a cleaner when I lived at home because both my parents had full time, professional jobs and often had to work at the weekend too. So when DH and I moved in together it seemed natural to me to employ a cleaner. When a colleague found out she endlessly took the piss out of me for it which made me feel uncomfortable. Then I noticed she took the piss out of someone bringing in their own loose leaf tea to drink and also ridiculed someone else for speaking with RP Hmm

It was then I realised that she was the one with the chip on her shoulder and deep down clearly felt threatened by what she perceived as other people's 'poshness' as she called it.

SoyDora · 21/04/2018 14:31

But yeah it's only on mumsnet that people have cleaners

I do find this ‘only on mumsnet’ thing that people say weird. People on mumsnet exist in real life too! So it’s not ‘only on mumsnet’, you just don’t happen to know anyone in real life that does it. Which isn’t all that surprising, as there are 65 million people in he UK alone.

Want2bSupermum · 21/04/2018 14:53

It's not a posh thing for me. We can easily afford it. I do hire help when DH is away for the week, with laundry, cooking and cleaning all or partially outsourced. For a regular week we can do it ourselves.

Gardening is something I'd be more interested in outsourcing. When I saw the cost of $3k a year I hacked away myself with DH. We have some containers which I find easier to manage. Other than that I just have to cut the grass. Takes me half an hour. I just can't see the value in paying so much money for something we can do together as a family.

Openup41 · 21/04/2018 14:56

This reply has been deleted

Withdrawn at poster's request.

Oblomov18 · 21/04/2018 14:58

Many of my friends do. I don't. Am I supposed to? What salary makes it ok?

I guess mine doesn't. Because I only work part time.