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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to wonder why everyone has cleaners these days!

648 replies

Storm4star · 20/04/2018 21:49

Ok, please don’t take offence, I say this somewhat in jest. But my goodness how many of you have cleaners?? I have been utterly ripping the pee out of a male colleague at work because he and his wife have a cleaner but I hadn’t realised how common it’s become until I joined MN!

I personally struggle to justify spending my hard earned cash on things I could do myself (also do most of my own decorating and DIY). But have I missed something? Is a cleaner now the new must have?

OP posts:
MrsDilber · 26/04/2018 13:17

If I could afford to, or if I worked full time, I would definitely have one.

I don't know anyone irl who does have one, but that wouldn't stop me.

WellWellWellifitisntyou · 26/04/2018 15:57

I wanted a cleaner. I hate cleaning and used to work long hours and commuted so often back late especially if I had a lot on in the office, it wouldn't be unusual to leave home before 8am and not be back until nnearly midnight which would mean either leaving things like washing up, laundry the bathroom etc til the weekend or keeping on top of things by doing housework at 1am! I also have a serious illness and the meds cause fatigue and other side effects. Sometimes I felt like I just didn't have the energy, esp when pregnant. When suggesting a cleaner to dh he said "I might as well marry the cleaner then. What's the point of you?" What's.The.Point.Of.You? Angry mother, wife, career woman...but what's the point if I'm not cooking and cleaning ay? I went part time with dc2 and now clean every day after work from about 5 to 6pm strictly and then big jobs on a Saturday. DH has never cleaned. The hours are less than I used to do but I save money in not commuting so my contribution to the household financially is about the same and it's shut dh up. I know a few people with cleaners and I'm quite envious. I now have more time to clean and am in a routine with it, but sometimes I'd rather be doing other things.

flubdub · 26/04/2018 16:03

I have a cleaner. She works approx 8 hours each day at my house, but that includes 11 bedrooms and 9 bathrooms. She's very good and if she has a bit of spare time, she occasionally helps the
live-in cook with some food prep, or assists the gardener with bits and pieces.
Her and our chauffeur have a bit of a romantic relationship on the go, but I don't really mind as long as it doesn't affect their work.
She is brilliant and we like to show our thanks by letting her use our indoor pool and gym whenever she wants.
My OH lent her our private jet when she went on holiday last year.

Oh wait. No.

MyOtherProfile · 26/04/2018 16:18

And your point is...?

Lentilbaby · 26/04/2018 17:26

@flubdub
I would have thought at the very least you would need a team of cleaners, no?

SeriousChutzpah · 26/04/2018 17:56

When suggesting a cleaner to dh he said "I might as well marry the cleaner then. What's the point of you?" What's.The.Point.Of.You? angry mother, wife, career woman...but what's the point if I'm not cooking and cleaning ay? I went part time with dc2 and now clean every day after work from about 5 to 6pm strictly and then big jobs on a Saturday. DH has never cleaned. The hours are less than I used to do but I save money in not commuting so my contribution to the household financially is about the same and it's shut dh up.

Well, that is incredibly sad and infuriating. I would have been suggesting a different method of 'shutting DH up', which would have involved leaving him. If the 'point of you' is that you do all the housework, having made a major career sacrifice in order to keep up your financial contribution to the house Angry, then what on earth is the 'point of your DH'? Is his job to demean you?

Turnocks34 · 26/04/2018 18:19

I have one because:

A) I hate cleaning up
B) I like a clean house
C) I can afford it

SomewhereInbetween1 · 26/04/2018 19:03

Just want to drop in that those who don't earn a lot work hard too...seems to be a few comments that imply that only those who earn enough to have a cleaner work hard Hmm

flubdub · 26/04/2018 19:08

@Lentilbaby
Excellent idea. I could hire a different cleaner for each job.
One for windows, one to vacuum, one to sprinkle unicorn dust on my lawn so that it sparkles in the light....

IAmMotherOfDragons · 26/04/2018 19:51

I wish I could afford a cleaner... I hate cleaning.

BoxsetsAndPopcorn · 26/04/2018 20:08

I only know two people with a cleaner, one is wealthy and it's a sign of status to them and the other doesn't work yet doesn't have the time to clean Hmm

It's very much different in real life than MN.

MyOtherProfile · 26/04/2018 20:56

How do you know it's a sign of status to them?

More than half of my friends have cleaners. I don't know anyone who sees it as a status symbol. It's not something people talk about much as it's so normal.

ferntwist · 26/04/2018 20:59

Having help at home, often daily, was even more common in years gone by. It’s hardly a new thing.

PoorYorick · 26/04/2018 21:12

When suggesting a cleaner to dh he said "I might as well marry the cleaner then. What's the point of you?"

You know, you don't need a cleaner to get rid of the huge dirtbag in your house...

flubdub · 26/04/2018 21:54

@PoorYorick
Amazing comeback Grin I like it!

TheDowagerCuntess · 27/04/2018 00:57

It's very much different in real life than MN

It depends whose 'real life' you're talking about.

For many people, it's the norm amongst people they know.

MyOtherProfile · 27/04/2018 05:16

Exactly Dowager. I can't really remember who out of my friends have one and who doesn't because lots do and it only really comes up in conversation when someone is looking for a new cleaner. We all want to have free time not taken up with household jobs.

EnormousDormouse · 27/04/2018 05:37

It's fascinating that there's such a lot of emotion and family/sex politics bound up in something as simple as cleaning.

I have a part-time maid cos I hate cleaning; and in the ME it's pretty standard.

My stepdaughter in the UK has a cleaner because she works massively long hours as a manager in the hospitality industry and has a 1 year old. Her hourly pay rate is not great so she doesn't earn a lot; but she doesn't want to spend her precious days off cleaning. Her partner wasn't happy -until she suggested he cut down on his hobby to do more himself.

When she was living in shared houses before they always had a cleaner too - divided by 4-5 people it didn't cost much and kept all the shared-living resentments at bay!

I'm trying to persuade my mid-70s mum to get a cleaner at the mo - she is a very busy person who also hates housework; but she can't quite get over the idea of employing a cleaner.

Minniemountain · 27/04/2018 06:42

We started when we both worked FT and DH said he'd rather pay someone else than clean himself. It's pay £25 a week or spend 3 hours doing something we dislike.

Minniemountain · 27/04/2018 06:45

Enormous we found our cleaner as she worked for a very house-proud 80 year old we knew.

TomRavenscroft · 27/04/2018 10:07

WellWell, I'd get a cleaner and then dare your DH to try to marry them.

Well actually, before it got to that I'd have kicked out the DH. What a twattish thing to say.

But anyway, get a fucking cleaner if you want one.

Hideandgo · 27/04/2018 10:14

I have my new cleaner arriving in an hour! I let the other one go last week.

I’ve a cleaner because I work and I refuse to do another full time job on top of my full time paid job and full time parenting job. Life is too short and precious. So as long as I can afford it, I will have a cleaner. Even if I was SAH, I’d expect DH to pay for a cleaner because he doesn’t do his share due to long long hours working.

bringincrazyback · 27/04/2018 10:29

Because life is short and there are better things to spend precious free time doing than cleaning. Also some people have health issues that make cleaning difficult, e.g. I suffer from chronic fatigue.

RingtheBells · 27/04/2018 10:38

If I worked full time or 4 days I would definitely have a cleaner, I only work 2 days though, DS left home years ago, so usually set aside the most horrible day to do it (like today all wet and horrible) laundry is done on the most drying days(definitely not today) so I must stop procrastinating and MNing and get on!

DH works 4 days so I have 2 extra days to him so I guess its fair I do most the cleaning

Want2bSupermum · 27/04/2018 12:58

wellwell More to the point, what is the use of him?

It's funny how so many women are expected to be the ones responsible for the home yet we strive for equality. As my grandma used to say, 'If you want equality in the workplace it starts with equality at home.'

My DC see DH and I both of us working and both of us taking care of our home.