To ask how you deal with horrible big kids at the park?

[Kezzamo]

I've just got home from taking my dc, 6&2 to a long cal park. There were 5 or 6 boys and girls aged about 11. One of them spent to whole time referring to me as the fat lady and shouting more stuff like mind you don't break the hill, slide, trampoline etc. The others giggled and joined in to a certain extent. No parents nearby. He was also swearing and talking about fingering I did go over and ask him if he had anything he'd like to say to me, but he just laughed. I called him out a bit but definitely feel beaten! He had really patchy hair and I did resist the urge to take the mickey back. How would you deal with this? Aibu to ask you for teen put downs?

Ooh love the YouTube idea!

I just take out my phone and take the picture of children that age and older who are being vile and/or trashing the park. They might mouth off, but it also always makes them immediately depart the park

You have no expectation of privacy in public. You can take pictures of anyone you like, no matter what they might say. I just tell them I'm going to forward it to the school or their parents if I know them if they say anything...

I'd say, 'Please can you have some respect and not talk like that in front of small children? It's not nice to listen to.' Usually works.

Not sure that would work on the hard core kids near here!

I was in a similar situation as you once OP - I overheard one of their names & went across to them after a while & said 'You do know I'm friends with your Mum don't you 'Callum' ? What are you saying to me?.'
He was mortified (I obviously don't know his Mum) & they left pretty quickly.
Some teenagers are brave & obnoxious around strangers but quickly reign it in when parents/teachers get involved.

I have a teen and an 11 year old. I would be horrified if they behaved in this way. Absolutely appalled.
When they were younger and I took them to the park I hated it when older kids were there and were swearing.
There’s not much you can do unfortunately.

Last time I had an issue with a teenager I told him I was going to take a photo with a quote and stick it on the local fb page when he said smugly 'you don't know who I am'. Now I probably wouldn't have for a variety of reasons but he went white and scarpered pdq.

Oh, I like that suggestion about being famous on youtube/ facebook! they'll shit themselves!

They weren't teens though so you don't need teen put-downs. They are still at primary school when the thought of a real life police officer speaking to them would surely have made them shit themselves. As a teacher I'd have no qualms at all about telling off that age group, 14+ I'd probably walk away.

I agree with the hard ferocious look idea. You can't win by having a go at them, so just stare them out whilst calmly taking their picture....they'll get bored. But I would definately report them to the school if they're in uniform!

Seriously?
I'd have thought they would LOVE to be famous on facebook and youtube!
Even as being idiots, so would act up even more.
People aspire to go on Jazza Kyle and show the world what numpties they are, this would be even better!
Us proper adults have the concept of shame, teens don't all have that.

Recently at a family park some boys around 14 were on a ride and decided to shout "midget" at me (I have dwarfism) from the top of the ride. They didn't expect me to be standing there waiting for them when they got off and they certainly didn't expect my mum rage I flew into. I asked them what the hell they thought they were doing trying to humiliate me on a day out with my son, did they think they were clever or that I'd never heard that before, why they thought it was acceptable, I did lose it a bit more and told them they were clearly sick in the head.

None of them answered back and they did look incredibly sheepish.
I do this now, just stand up to them and point out their behaviour. I may only be 4ft 6 but I'm not taking crap off of kids in front of my own child, especially as I don't want him to think that bad behaviour isn't going to be confronted.

Is there a local face book group? Put he video on there

I think it depends bluetrews the one I had the run in with clearly had normal parents who would have been horrified if they found out. And parents have fb accounts I don't think fame entered his head.

This happened to me too, last year. I was in park with 1 year old DD and my mum. No one there when we arrived, then a group of 4 boys and 1 girl, maybe 13-15yo came in and started swinging, chatting loudly, loads of swearing. Dd was just toddling around on the grass, one of them did say something like 'watch out for the baby' to one of the swinging ones, but they were munching sweets, am throwing sweets everywhere and then dropped the bag. I was so pissed off that when we were leaving (mum already had dd half out of the park) i went over and said 'are you going to pick your litter up?' They were taken aback but the gobbiest just said 'not my litter, that was here before', they all started shouting it wasn't theirs so i just said in my cold, stern voice 'i will then', bent down to get it and started walking to the bin on the way out. As i went they started shouting shit like 'Mmmm tasty, when can i have a go, oh can i lick your clit?' Fucking filth. I was FURIOUS because my daughter was there but also so disgusted and horrified that their go-to response to a woman saying something they don't want is that sort of sexual aggression.
I'm a secondary school teacher. That stern voice would have worked on 99 kids out of a hundred in school, i guess they were relying on anonymity. Little pricks. I assure you, i was actually close to going back, getting right up in their faces, potentially actually knocking their heads together.
Trouble is, that sort of pack aggression reminds me of the way i was treated throughout school, and just had to keep my head down and ignore it and i HATE that teenage boys can STILL make me feel like that!

Phew! That was cathartic!

If a child verbally abused me in a park I wouldn't be ashamed to say I'd tell the little shit to fuck right off 🤣🙈

I'd say to them "Hey guys, I'm tweeting all your pictures to all the local primary/secondary [as appropriate] schools, see if anyone wants to claim you lot as their pupils. Imagine there'll be some hefty detentions going on!"

Heh heh heh....

We had this at one of the small parks on Monday, non pupil day. Two groups of secondary kids. My 4 year old was looking at them, saying how silly they were. My 9 yo just wanted to leave. I knew one of the kids as an older sibling to my son’s school mates. It was very intimidating and unpleasant. Doing their best to break the equipment which has only just been fixed. I did say to my DS I’d be unhappy if he did that kind of thing.

Annie

"I can lose weight, you'll always be a little shite" or words to that effect.

Or "Really?" said with an arch look and raised eye brow.

The schools here will take nothing to do with behaviour of their pupils outside of school. I am not sure what any school could be expected to do?

Those kids have no idea whatsoever what went on in Stalingrad...

Truthfully, in that situation, with very young children with me, I'd have walked away. I'd have explained to my son that when people are rude that sometimes the best thing to do is walk away and leave them to it. You don't always have to confront people and I think it's important that children are taught that. Standing your ground for the sake of saving face and not wanting to appear weak is not always the better option.

My school would tear a strip off any student behaving like that in uniform, or could be proven to be from our school. We take pride in our place in the community.

I would have said I was so sorry he was so rude and say his parents must feel so ashamed of him.

I find this shocking and I have never heard of this happening.

I think I would ask them what they would do if they heard boys talking to their mum or grandma like that.

The little fuckers. Kids like that do not encourage me to change my mind about becoming a mum one day.

Don’t rise to the little shits; they’ll pick on the wrong person one day.

"If they are aged about 11 they will get very scared if you go over all guns blazing ‘how dare you’ etc "

Depends on the area you're in. Where I live I really wouldn't risk them going to get their older brothers, especially if they know where I live.