To ask how you deal with horrible big kids at the park?

[Kezzamo]

I've just got home from taking my dc, 6&2 to a long cal park. There were 5 or 6 boys and girls aged about 11. One of them spent to whole time referring to me as the fat lady and shouting more stuff like mind you don't break the hill, slide, trampoline etc. The others giggled and joined in to a certain extent. No parents nearby. He was also swearing and talking about fingering I did go over and ask him if he had anything he'd like to say to me, but he just laughed. I called him out a bit but definitely feel beaten! He had really patchy hair and I did resist the urge to take the mickey back. How would you deal with this? Aibu to ask you for teen put downs?

KILL THEM ALL

Easy to say but I would just ignore it. He’s looking for a rise out of you.
He’s the loser. Don’t lower yourself to his level.

In uniform? Take it up with the school
Out of uniform, more difficult.

Take the moral high ground and ignore.

If they'd been bullying your kids, then I'd be all for saying something. I've called out the bigger kids for bullying and hurting wee ones when we're at the park. But what they were doing was deliberately trying to get a rise out of you, and nothing you said or did would have made a difference.

You'd end up just embarrassing yourself or going too far and having an irate parent come chase you down from somewhere else in the park. They do need a kick up the arse but unfortunately, unless you got really nasty, then nothing you do would matter to little twits like that.

Apparently I have ‘a look’ that quells kids. Stony face I think. But that’s my natural resting bitch face and I was born with it.

Look in the mirror and look hard and emotionless. No expression at all.
If that fails, kill them all😈

They sound alot older than 11. I have a 10 year old and he and his friends still act very much like young children. The best way to act around teenage with thus behaviour us to ignore. My 10 year old son feels very intimidated by certain teens but knows to ignore and walk away, Altho he us never in the park with out an adult yet.

What a bunch of pricks.

Agree, if you can identify the school let them know. Otherwise not a lot you can do. I’d be very tempted to make passive-aggressive comments to my kids about the terribly rude big boy and how you’d be ever so ashamed if they used rude words like that, most kids would care, the rest of the group probably weren’t impressed for what it’s worth.

Kids are horrible. It’s not just big kids either, younger ones can be just as bad.

Yesterday I was on the play area with my DDs (aged 7 and 10) a group of children from their school in about year 4 (so 8 or 9) were swearing and name calling and one boy started to push DD1(the 10 year old) about and I shouted at him to stop. I don’t think he realised that I was DD1’s Mum.

There was a dad of one of the girls in the group nearby and I went to tell him they were swearing and name calling. He said “my daughter wasn’t. I called her over to ask what happened and it wasn’t her.”

🤦‍♀️ Yes, because of course she’s going to say “yes daddy, I’ve been swearing. I’m sorry!”

I would never do this myself but my very outspoken friend was once asked if she wanted to give a group of lads about 14 a blow job. They were in a group and laughing.
When she said “right who is first then” I have never seen a group of lads faces freeze in fear like that before and then they ran off very quickly.
wouldnt recommend it though may backfire

God, I’d have gone through them, I don’t want my kids to see me taking shit from some wee shite and thinking that as their role model they should take shit too if they’re ever in that position.
I’d have told them their language was disgusting and they should be ashamed of themselves talking to or about anyone like that. Undoubtably you’d get abuse back but I’d threaten to call the police to report abusive and antisocial behaviour in that case and they’d soon fairly shit themselves.
It’s horrific some of the stuff youngsters think is acceptable. I told a group of boys the same age to mind their language yesterday on the bus when I had my three year old with me, no shame!

How horrible. Not something you can really just ignore as your dc will be aware they are doing this to you. I don't really have advice, just wanted to give a bit of support and say at least you have the comfort of knowing your dc won't turn into little brats like this. And hope you are ok.

I’ve had this twice, once on holiday, a boy telling his friend loudly that he had “hairs on his dick” so I would move my DC from the swings and once in the park near my Mum’s house (boy saying he was “going for a shit” and that “his arsehole was red raw” Lovely
Both times I felt awful afterwards, even though my “evil eyes” meant the friends of the child using terrible language looked embarrassed and told them to stop. I’m a Secondary school teacher FGS, I deal with this day in day out and deal with it well! But I think when I am with my own DC I want to keep the peace and avoid any confrontation which may scare them.
I did mention to the mum of the boy on holiday that he had forced my 4 yr old to get off the swing (he did it the moment I turned my head away to check a queue) and she said “Oh what can you do? He will stay on there all day now”.
He was HATED by all the parents of younger kids by the end of the week.

My sympathies OP. A PP is right, if in uniform ring the school with a description, they will probably know who it is without much input.
Another idea would be to mention it on a local FB group, the one for our town really shame any bad behaviour like this. (Obviously not name , just time and place and approx age)

There was a lad of around 14 who lived on my street and who decided that it would be fun to target me when I was a young (around 24) single mum. He used to throw coins at my window and shout ‘slag’ at me as he passed with his mates.

One day I had a male friend there with me who was between our ages (I think around 19). He gave the lad the once over and said, ‘That’s a handsome pair of jeans you’re wearing.’

The lad never bothered me again. I have no idea why that statement, or my very artistic looking (not butch at all) friend put him off, but it did, and without insulting, or threatening him.

Is there anyone you can take with you next time?

I would also report the incident(s) to the local council, as the nuisance is on their land, as well as your local PCSO.

Arrgghh I'm cringing at myself now. I did start ignoring them but they were blocking the slide etc. The more I ignored them the braver they became

I'd say, 'Please can you have some respect and not talk like that in front of small children? It's not nice to listen to.' Usually works.

When I’ve had this I’ve had more success with politely asking them not to swear in front the kids even though I really just want to thump them.

Having said that the group the OP met sound really awful.

Would it work if you take out your phone, call someone, and loudly discuss what a bunch of losers they are?

Load a drone with napalm

I had something similar last summer, I took out my phone and started taking pictures of them. Only I can't use the camera on my phone but they don't know that. Then I reported it on the local village facebook page and managed to track down the ring leader who was known to the local PCSO - he was from the sort of family that wouldn't be bothered but I think the police riled them so he hasn't done anything like that since. Depends where you live I suppose OP, if not in a village or very "local" area then you wont be able to trace them.

If this happened to me in London I'd just go home!

This happened to me too OP, so I feel for you
A group of teens, around 16yrs or so, started calling out as I walked past. They were doing that 'cough', that supposed to cover up what their saying. It was flat slag and then they said things to each other, like 'that'd have to be done from behind'
I was and actually cried when I got home from the school run.

had the same issue. blocking the side too. I kept at them until they found it embarassing and left. Then I phoned the police and turned out the kids were known to them.

You get your phone out, record their behaviour and tell them they will be famous on youtube.

If they are aged about 11 they will get very scared if you go over all guns blazing ‘how dare you’ etc and have a go at them, threaten to call local schools, take your phone out and pretend to take a photo and say you will report them to local schools for bullying etc. I would go in hard!

You shouldn’t have to, however. How terrible you had to deal with that.

You are right though my ds6 was asking me if I was ok and why they were being horrible.
Thanks for the solidarity. It's not our immediately local park but is quite close and used to be out favourite park. I don't want to let the little shits put me off but if I'm honest it was really quite horrid. The worse thing is I am actually a police officer and am a bit ashamed I couldn't do better! I've honestly not had anything that bad at work and I've been doing it a long time!