To get arsey when people tell me my baby should be sleeping through..

[ethelfleda]

My mother this time....
DS is 5 and a half months and doesn't sleep through yet. Some nights are worse than others but I've stopped checking the time and just co-sleep and feed lying down. I have resigned myself to the fact that he may not for a while and that's that and I can survive and it will all be fine

Then the look of horror on my mother's face as she says "he should have started sleeping through long before now..." fills me with rage.

And all the magic babies belonging to all the women at baby group who sleep from 7 until 7 don't help either

Maybe I should just lie next time and say yes, he is and leave it at that.

My 23 months still ‘sleeps like a baby’. I can’t wait for her to be a teenager and actually sleep through or at least not need one of us durring the night.

Fuckmolly, my son has just started sleeping through AND HE'S 5 and a QUARTER!

And I know many, many, more of the same age.

It's quite rare not to have enough milk. Thyroid issues and of mother goes back to work early, eg 3 mo, this can affect milk supply. It's supply and demand. Which is actually why cc before 6 mo to a year isn't a good idea if bf as you're effectively cutting down on feeds so the body stops making as much milk.

Ekphrasis that's a good point. I would point it out to my mother/grandmother but I'm sure it will fall upon deaf ears
DS has 2 - 3 feeds per night at the mo. But he is only small for his age (9th centile) so I don't expect him to not need to eat at night!

After the initial feeding every four hours thing switched to on demand, DS would sleep longer in quite big jumps, until he slept midnight until seven, feed then sleep again until nine.

Lovely you might think.

Then he hit four months. Started waking every two hours. That seemed to go on forever. He's just coming up to five and sleeps through - if he's in bed with me. Won't sleep on his own at all, will sleep with his Grandma, but will often wake and cine in with me around 2am.

I just keep reminding myself that in 10 years I won't look back and think it was awful, I'll look back with fondness at how nice it was to have him cuddling up.

@snowballsandsunshine 18 months fully dry? Ha!

I don’t think it’s deliberate in my mum’s case. It was just soooo bloody long ago - my youngest brother is 32! I think you forget the hardest parts of baby rearing as time goes by - I can’t really recall stuff from a year ago until DH reminds me how tough breastfeeding was at the beginning.

@mirime...are you me?!

My DS was a fab sleeper, like yours sleeping longer and longer stretches. The week he turned 4 months old he did three nights of solid 8 hours and then BAM every 2 hours. Hasn’t gotten better since. Sigh

Ethel, my ds had iugr, once he found his line about 2 weeks after birth he never deviated from it due to bf on demand, including through some nasty illnesses. (He had so many of those from Nursery I never found the right time to wean till 3.5 when he was kinda doing it himself!

Proper research says most children start sleeping independently around the age of 5 with some variation either way. And I know plenty who did cc and sleep training. Many found it worked for a while but if the child is the type to need closeness at night, they will find you no matter what!

I have no idea what prompted our recent 6 weeks of sleeping through but going back to school after the hols seems to have wobbled it for the last 4 nights. I'm having #2 soon so that might be it too.

Then he hit four months. Started waking every two hours

@Kzzzzz and @mirime

Exactly the same here. Up until about 4 and a half months DS was having one really quick 3am feed (well, he did this for about a week) and going straight back to sleep
He hasn't been the same since. Funny as he was 2 weeks early so I wonder if that's why he hit sleep regression a little later.

My eyes have been opened, I had no idea other mums were lying! I'm feeling very reassured by this thread, thanks OP! My 2.5year old doesn't sleep through and my 11 month old is awake 6 times or so in the night with no sign of letting up.

Some of them sleep
Some of them don’t

It’s nobodys fault and nothing unusual
Best wishes for some peaceful nights soon x

Also, when they do sleep through, it's not a given. So my baby sleeps, but teething, development, and general illness will wake her up. I never believe anyone who says "they sleep through 7-7 without fail". It's just not possible.

Agree Lala my DD first slept through at 4 months old but two years on it goes in phases. She sometimes sleeps well and sometimes doesn’t. A baby sleeping through often isn’t a permanent arrangement.

Some kids sleep, some don't. I'm lucky and my sons do, they are 2 and almost 4 months. We put them to sleep at 19:30 and they usually wake between 07:00 - 08:00. Unless they are unwell, then they'll wake in the night for a drink etc.

I had horrendous pregnancies with both; hospitalised with HG multiple times, lasted the whole 9 months. Thank God I got good sleepers after all that!

Don’t worry, loads of people told me about their kids not sleeping though till they were 2 years+
It’s just whatever is right for the kid.

But it is super annoying when people are horrified that they aren’t sleeping though yet. When mine was 5 months old, a delightful old lady told me all about how I should just ignore the baby crying all night and “poor me” for not getting a nights sleep.

Turning point for us was putting DD in her own room and bed at about 7 months. Slept through from the first night.
Before then she was waking almost every hour. Was lovely

Worth a try OP, think she was disturbing us as much as we were disturbing her!

Dont worry i have 3 and the eldest is about to turn 5 and still ocassionaly wakes up. As does the 3 year old and 1 year old. I dont expect anyone to sleep solidly through the night. People have bad dreams, need tge toilet, thirsty, restless, not tired, heard a noise....so why are kids/babies different?

Have a good read of the infant sleep information source. Never fails to make you feel better about sleep.

I'll never forget the relief and happiness when my twins were 4 months and I cried to my Nana that they didn't sleep through and she laughed (kindly) and said that none of hers slept through at 4 months either.

She also pointed out that babies and parents are meant to disturb each other somewhat and that we don't want babies getting into super deep sleeps (we have a very big history of cot death in our family).

The relief was unreal. Also the next time it came up at baby group I said mine didn't sleep through and people started talking about how theirs "slept through" and I discovered mine slept more than half of them as they had a consistent sleeping pattern as opposed to sleeping well one night then not sleeping barely anything for 5 nights.

You sound like you have a good attitude to it. I'd be tempted to lie to your mum. I have 3 dc they started sleeping through at 3 months , 6 months and 15 months ( in that order)! They are all different.

Oh take no bloody notice of the my little angel slept/sleeps from 8PM to 9AM brigade. Theyre a load of lying fuckin hounds
There is not a baby past or present who doesn't wake up through the night at 5 months old, even if it is only for the one feed.
It's no wonder so many new mums feel inadequate.

I don't know what they'd have said to my poor mum and dad. I only slept for 1 hour a day.

I remember wanting to cry when my MIL smugly told me her sons were sleeping through by 6 months. Turned out she left them to cry.

My son is 15 months and does sleep through some nights. But then a cold/teething etc hits and it all goes pear-shaped.

YANBU

my mil asked me if DS2 slept through when he was 3 days old!!!! Fucks sake

My Dd has just started sleeping 9 hours a night at 2....after moving house and putting her in a bed. Before that she could be up 3 - 4 times a night. It's never bothered me she didn't sleep through - she's still an infant and I rarely sleep through so why would I expect her to!