To get arsey when people tell me my baby should be sleeping through..

[ethelfleda]

My mother this time....
DS is 5 and a half months and doesn't sleep through yet. Some nights are worse than others but I've stopped checking the time and just co-sleep and feed lying down. I have resigned myself to the fact that he may not for a while and that's that and I can survive and it will all be fine

Then the look of horror on my mother's face as she says "he should have started sleeping through long before now..." fills me with rage.

And all the magic babies belonging to all the women at baby group who sleep from 7 until 7 don't help either

Maybe I should just lie next time and say yes, he is and leave it at that.

I remember feeling the same at that point! Everyone else’s babies slept and I felt so judged for doing something wrong. She was a horrendous sleeper till 15 months but touch wood has slept amazingly well since (now 19 months)

Cosleeping and feeding lying down got me through the really tough times too.

My lg started sleepy through only 2 weeks ago and she's 2 and a half!! The irony is I'm 25 weeks pregnant so will be starting night feeds again soon 😂😂

I'm just waving the flag for those whose children were born in 1970s / 80s. Neither of my DC were particularly good sleepers. DS was 5 before he slept through the night. OP, you have my huge sympathies, it really is the pits I would never judge you either

Everyone at baby groups are bloody liars!! It was the WORST thing for me to hear at the peak of pnd. I laugh now when I hear them.

My baby is 9m and still isn't. She will when she is ready !

A (childless) friend of mine (although she has young nieces and nephews) asked if my baby slept through when she was 3WKs old, almost punched her! (I was very sleep deprived)

Thanks for the replies everyone!

I used to let it bother me so much (him it sleeping through) and I started so many sentences with 'when ds is sleeping at night then I can blah blah blah' like I'm putting life on hold because I'm expecting this tiny thing to sleep the same as others say their babies are. I don't feel like that any more. And I am so grateful for him. To all the mothers dealing with sleep deprivation past and present!

People also forget. A friend of mine told me the other day that a friend of hers was telling her that teething wasn't an issue for her child. Until her husband piped in, "well, we did have a few bad nights!" Which was probably more the truth.

My 3 year old only sleeps through very occasionally. It has been tough at times such as when I'm poorly because I'm on my own with him. But it's just life and being tired can't stop your life. Still have to go to work 5 or 7 days a week!

Oh god I feel your pain! Mine is 18 months and still doesn't sleep through. It happens from time to time but I usually have to spend up to an hour with him while he goes to sleep. Sometimes he refuses to even stay in his crib and I have to hold him while he drops off. He wakes up twice most nights and needs cuddling back to sleep, and is up for the day at 6. It's exhausting and dispiriting and at times has threatened to damage my relationship with him. And everyone else's babies are sleeping through!! Or so they say at least...

My first slept 7-7 from 6 weeks. 2nd not reliably until he was about 6!

My five year old rarely sleeps through neither do I and I'm 43

DD is 13 months and has never slept through the night. DS has just turned 6 and I'm still waiting for him to sleep through on a regular basis (he did for a while once he started school but hasn't since December!). I've given up waiting for it to happen!! The constant nocturnal disruption is not so slowly sucking the life out of me. The next person who asks "why?" neither of them sleep through because obviously it's my fault and I should know how to "fix" it will feel my full wrath (mum, you have been warned!!)

My DD is is over one and not sleeping through the night every night. She does it sometimes. I'm well aware we could have got her in her cot more quickly, left her to cry at night, etc., but I didn't really want to. So sometimes she wakes up. We either soothe her back to sleep or we bring her in with us. Can't think how that harms anyone.

I totally lie about this all the time. Because I’m sick of people offering advice and opinions when I don’t lie. Yes, yes I have tried whatever it is you’re suggesting, and I didn’t ask for advice anyway. Lie and say that baby sleeps through, and you don’t have to deal with people who know it all.

Kids do everything in their own time!!

(and other mothers lie, straight to your face)

Mine did sleep through from day one. One the other hand, they were prems and didnt start walking until 15-17 months. The looks at toddler group...

Tell them all to bugger off and have a nap when your baby is sleeping. In 12 months this will all just be a memory. x

21 months. Up every hour last night. Has never slept through.

What crazy person expects a 5 month old baby to sleep through?!!

At the same time as you I was told by some great aunt that my baby should be sleeping through and I should encourage this (leaving to cry I think).. and then in the next breath now “most women” don’t have enough milk and she didn’t. If you’re refusing to feed at night of course you don’t!

Hurrah to this thread!

It's shit enough being woken up all night, but it's even shitter to be made to think that is a reflection on your parenting skills.

Mil banged on about this with dd. She'd keep asking if she slept through yet and made out is was unusual that she wasn't. Thankfully she was my second child so I knew she'd get there, just like ds did. He finally slept through at 7 months. Dd managed it at 6 months. Both of them are great sleepers now and we even get a bit of a lie in at weekends! They're now 7yo and 17mo.

and then in the next breath now “most women” don’t have enough milk and she didn’t

I'm so glad I'm not the only one who also gets told this... this is my grandmother's opinion as well. "He isn't sleeping through? I don't think you're feeding him enough. You probably haven't got enough milk for him..."
I smile and say he is gaining weight just fine thanks.

I’ve found my people.

DS is almost 13 months & was an awesome sleeper until 4 months & horrific ever since.

My mum is convinced that all 6 of us slept through the moment we were weaned at 4 months. Seriously, how lucky would you need to be to have SIX babies one after the other who all sleep through in the same routine at the same time?!

She’s not trying to make me feel bad but her bafflement everytime I mention I’ve had a bad night makes me want to scream.

Breathe.

Oh don't, @Kzzzzz. My mother insists that both my brother and I were potty trained at 18 months. Both of us, totally trained, dry day and night.

Bollocks. I've seen photos of my brother at least still in nappies around age 2. I get increasingly annoyed with her asking when I'm going to try to train DD who is only just two and showing zero signs of being ready at all!

I wonder if they're deliberately fibbing, or just remember it differently.

I wonder if they're deliberately fibbing, or just remember it differently

In the case of my mother I would say it's deliberate! She probably just left me to cry all night and called it 'sleeping through' but she likes to think she knows more about having children than I do

DD didn't start sleeping through until 7 months. She is currently having a tantrum down the monitor now despite 7pm having been bedtime for months. Ffs

She probably just left me to cry all night and called it 'sleeping through' 😂 my mother did this!!!