AIBU or are team building events really f*cking awful...

[rOsie80]

Especially the variety that ask you for an "interesting" fact about yourself so you all sit around and reel them off in an awkward, stilted fashion for an hour.... does anybody really enjoy this stuff ?!!

I am not sure. A short 'how's it going then a 'bribe' on works time seems sensible but there are only a few instances where colleagues need to be 'mates'. There does seem to be near universal condemnation of the way it is often done though.

For three years, a colleague has suggested Go Ape. For three years, I've said 'actually, I'm bad with heights, I wouldn't enjoy any of that'.

His response is always 'well, we'd all be there to support you' .

How lovely. A day where everyone gets to enjoy my stumbling around, being careful with my bad ankle and being scared so they can support me.

Fortunately, the manager who organises these things thinks it's daft as well and wouldn't dream of booking something someone had a phobia to.

For three years, a colleague has suggested Go Ape.

What's stopping them going? It's about thirty quid, and there's plenty of them around. They could organise a group of people who want to go, and go. Not hard.

@Kenef
The idea is that EVERYBODY hates them, not for people who might like to go. Team bonding works because they all hate it.

Why do companies do them when no-one enjoys them?

When I was on honeymoon in Maui there was a US company there on 'team building'. I got chatting to someone who was on it and she said even though they had these trips on the company every year she'd still rather just be at home or on holiday with her husband/kids. I agree with her, it doesn't matter what the activity, how luxurious the venue etc. It's still enforced 'fun' with random people who happen to work for the same company you do.

As everyone says best team building is in the pub.

Why do companies do them when no-one enjoys them?
Because arse-lickers get wrapped up in all the corporate bullshit, and don't want to be seen being negative with everyone else

Only in pharma eh, big pharma femme

Halfwitpicker you big pharma too? Tell me your best conference story!

Mines the conference to Florida where the Scottish team were so leathered by the time they landed that they weren’t allowed through the passport control and were put on the next flight home, MD included!

Or the Astra rep that was found smashed in reception, pissing up the curtains...

Or the one where the marketing team from Cardiac Care ended up all naked in the hotel spa...

I did one many years ago in my working days. It was 2 days and on the other side of London from where we were based, so a pain to get to (no accomodation). It was a load of cod psychological crap, 'exploring our inner selves'. By day 2 everybody, except for one teachers pet type who was lapping it up, was heartily fed up and behaving very badly. The person running it lost her rag and said "no one is forcing you to be here". Big mistake as we all (bar one) walked out. Mind, we were a very stroppy group generally.

Ages ago a company I worked for had a monthly award scheme for employee suggestions. The winner of the "best" suggestion got to go on a long weekend to some foreign resort with the whole sales team.

To me this would be a punishment, not a reward.

It was a load of cod psychological crap

There are people who are suckers for that shit. Given the amazing popularity of "Brain Gym", which was pure charlatanism of the most obvious sort, and "Learning Styles", which are about the same sort of nonsense, you could make a pretty good living offering "cod psychological crap" to schools. And plenty of people do, I believe. One thing that proves that school budgets haven't been cut anything like as much as is made out is the amount of money they have to waste on pure nonsense.

Now, which hat should I wear this afternoon?

I love them!

I get paid to do a job and not to jump through hoops for my employer's entertainment

Team-building is a very broad term and most of the tying ropes, building and knocking over boxes etc stuff can be soul destroying. However, there are team development/strategy days etc that make a huge difference and I find that's usually when everyone gets involved in agreeing an agenda and time is dedicated to discussing "real" stuff/issues which sometimes can have to do with management itself. It takes a pretty strong leader to bring in someone who can facilitate said discussions, reveal and explore issues that have been brushed under the carpet/hold the team back. Not sure they're called 'team building' days though.

It takes a pretty strong leader to bring in someone who can facilitate said discussions, reveal and explore issues that have been brushed under the carpet

Anything rather than actually looking at doing the job better, eh?

The public sector loves this sort of charlatanism, which just proves that they need their budgets cutting a bit harder. In the days when I used to spend too much time in a hotel which had "conference facilities", almost every time I did there would be a large party of people from the local NHS trust loudly talking bollocks over dinner and getting pissed before heading off to each other's rooms. On the odd occasions when one got to see the flipcharts, it was just nonsense. Lots of mind maps and idea showers and the rest, facile ideas dressed up in modish garb by people for whom a decent post-18 education was a distant dream.

Oddly, it was always NHS managers, but never doctors. I guess because hospitals need doctors, and can spare the managers for a few days. Or weeks. Or months. Shame they were spending the money on getting pissed, mind.

A few years later, the Care Quality Commission or whoever it is that regulates Trusts put it into special measures. So much for the idea showers, eh?

I was at a training session today (not team-building, thank fuck, just 'this is a new set of info you all need, and this is something else that might be useful') But I nearly caught myself playing 'management-speak bollocks bingo'. And had to struggle not to flinch every time the session leader said 'the straw {BIG PAUSE AND INDRAWN BREATH} that will break the camel's back' as though she had thought up that incredibly striking simile all by herself.
And before anyone starts barking and crapping themselves over cultural differences and the possibility that it was a new simile to her - that's extremely unlikely. She was white, British-sounding, mid-40s and well educated.

But I nearly caught myself playing 'management-speak bollocks bingo'.

Now that would a good team building game.

make

For your entertainment...

www.teambuilding.co.uk

I hate this kind of thing because it is an imposition.

I'd love th type of wanly bollocks you all hate! But I'd don't get the opportunity unfortunately.

I want to get my team to bond better Together. This thread has been a helpful and timely reminder that they would hate the sort of thing I'd love.

So what should I do for a bunch of evidence based, factual, non fluffy bollocks, down to earth types?

ItsNotUnusualToBe

Ask them.

So what should I do for a bunch of evidence based, factual, non fluffy bollocks, down to earth types?

You could try talking to them as adults, without either wearing a funny hat or communicating through the medium of interpretative dance. You could try talking for five minutes without using a cliche you got from a trade paperback entitled "Management Secrets of Hannibal Lecter" you bought in a departure lounge. You could respect, or at least acknowledge, their skills and qualifications. I know, crazy stuff.

My experience is that managers who think "bonding" is important are a dangerous waste of space, who alienate staff while narcissistically assuming everyone admires and likes them. "Bonding" is something that doesn't belong in the workplace. It's the assumption that colleagues should be friends, rather than colleagues.

Why not try talking to your staff?

KeneftYakimoski
You win this thread!

The fact they force you to spend t8me with people at work and out especially with people you don’t like is super irritating but if thy are paying I’d suck it up 😊