AIBU or are team building events really f*cking awful...

[rOsie80]

Especially the variety that ask you for an "interesting" fact about yourself so you all sit around and reel them off in an awkward, stilted fashion for an hour.... does anybody really enjoy this stuff ?!!

Only fir the trainer to complain, charges of gross misconduct to be brought, sackings and employment tribunal claims.

Can you imagine the depths of personal degradation involved in being that "trainer"? What do you do? I improve morale by getting people sacked. It's literally "sackings will continue until morale improves".

I worked in field-based sales for BigPharma for years and we had this sort of thing at every single conference, and they were at least quarterly. The industry spends lavishly so at least we were in decent digs usually. We did have one event where we were all assessed as being a particular type, but one woman’s type clearly didn’t match the rest of the team and there was no remedy for what she or anyone else should do, apart from brush up her cv! And they’d all got on ok till then!

We went on one with a stroppy but very inexperienced trainer who seemed to think he was talking to naughty teenagers, not industry sales execs. We all had to share one unusual skill, “so we could value each other” and the team badboy-type whispered something to his mate and they both laughed. Instead of moving on, the trainer went all schoolteacher and said “Please share with the room your skill, I’m sure it’s worthy of an audience” so team badboy announces loudly “I can come in my own foreskin.” The trainer lost all control by getting even more irate and disgusted, and eventually cancelled the afternoon session so we finished early! Result!

YANBU

So I have found a career that is right for me being a shy introvert - the one doesn't require to work in a team. Now you are making me to do all these team building / socialising exercise outside of my working hours. I will absolutely avoid.

Oh yeah and on another one we had to make short videos about the region we were from. The London team did it in the style of a porno and used body lotion for the money shot!

OMG when I used to work,the phrase 'Team Building' would strike terror into my heart! Seriously. Also anything that was described as 'Fun'. I would know without a shadow of doubt,that it would be anything but.
You can swear you know OP! No need for the asterisks on 'fucking'. me,I love a good swear

Bigpharmafemme . 'I can come in my own foreskin'. That's priceless!

YouTheCat tree of... shit 😄

It really, really was, qwerty.

I wonder what is in store for the next training day.

Speak for yourself - we’re doing robot wars this year!

I went on a team building course, not in the UK, led by a wanky bloke, which ended with us walking across burning coals. We spent all day supposedly getting into a positive mindset, the idea being that if you didn't anticipate pain, it wouldn't hurt. The peer pressure to do it was too much, but I can tell you now that it did hurt, it was excruciating. The trainer basically said it was my own fault because of my negative thinking. I had to spend that evening getting emergency treatment for burns*

There was a legal case on this a number of years ago where someone from KPMG, I think, successfully sued for fire 🔥 walking burns on this sort of team exercise. Apparently something to do with having had a pedicure...

I went on a team building course, not in the UK, led by a wanky bloke, which ended with us walking across burning coals. We spent all day supposedly getting into a positive mindset, the idea being that if you didn't anticipate pain, it wouldn't hurt. The peer pressure to do it was too much, but I can tell you now that it did hurt, it was excruciating. The trainer basically said it was my own fault because of my negative thinking. I had to spend that evening getting emergency treatment for burns

There was a legal case on this a number of years ago where someone from KPMG, I think, successfully sued for fire 🔥 walking burns on this sort of team exercise. Apparently something to do with having had a pedicure...

We did have an afternoon paintballing as a team but we were already a good team so it was enhancing the team spirit.
Mostly though these training days and change days seem to be the management implying that we are at fault somehow and if we'd just all work together better then everything would be wonderful. So they pay someone 20 times the average wage of the people in the room to come in and talk about communication (again).

Or if you have to make something, especially if you're blindfolded. Such bollocks.

YANBU I hate them. Waste of time and I can't relax during these. Dread them. As PP said, a trip to the pub would be more effective

Fucking horrible.
Interesting fact, 2 truths and a lie, I even had to shot humpty dumpy whilst standing in a superman pose once ... in my 3rd day at the office

The thing with 'firewalking' is that it actually should be perfectly safe, because science. It's not magic and it's got fuck all to do with your mindset. The coals themselves are not hot - the metal tray is hot, so there need to be enough coals, properly spread out, so that no one's feet touch the tray.
(There may be some slight inaccuracies in the above because I can't remember the exact wording of the explanation I was given a long time ago, but it's to do with heat distribution and conductivity)
But the sort of dumbfucks who lay on this sort of thing for resentful, resistant cubicle mice are quite likely to not actually know the relevant science and therefore skimp on the coals or use the wrong sort of container...

Why do some people think teams are best built through almost universally hated sessions like this? I work in a very supportive and united team and our bonds are built through the work we do together. You will never get me to believe that pissing about doing embarrassing or irrelevant activities strengthen a team more than working together to get the best result possible in a stressful and challenging situation.

Surely a relatively simple meeting where each person in the team/department jots down one thing they see as 'good' and one as 'bad'. The 'Leader' tabulates results and have a SHORT discussion to flesh out things that could be done to improve then down to the pub or tea and cakes or whatever.

A load of Actuaries playing bongos will never be fun or inspiring.

I even had to shot humpty dumpy whilst standing in a superman pose once ... in my 3rd day at the office

Eh?

Surely a relatively simple meeting where each person in the team/department jots down one thing they see as 'good' and one as 'bad'.

Too logical, not enough bollockspeak. It'll never catch on. Also nothing at work is ever, ever, ever "bad".

Absolutely awful things. I attended one many years ago that ended up with people in tears, a near punch-up and one guy resigning on the spot. The team was utterly destroyed after that - noone trusted each other. Thank you very much, Bradford Council.

I attended one many years ago that ended up with people in tears, a near punch-up and one guy resigning on the spot. The team was utterly destroyed after that - noone trusted each other. Thank you very much, Bradford Council.

Meanwhile: abused children? .

www.keighleynews.co.uk/news/15049256.No_need_for_full_Rotherham_style_enquiry_into_sexual_grooming_of_children_in_Keighley_and_Bradford_according_to_Bradford_Council/

@Frankchickens
Sorry I 'do' logical., but you are right it won't catch on.

@outabout

I was arguing for simple language, logic and less bollockspeak upthread, but I fear we are in a minority.