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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have my 2 children share a bedroom?

85 replies

abstractlife · 17/04/2018 22:41

We have just moved house. It's a bungalow with an attic that's been converted into 1 huuuuuge "master" bedroom and across the hall from that is a tiny low ceilinged room described as a study.

Downstairs there are 2 bedrooms or, as listed, 1 bedroom and 1 dining room/ bedroom.

We have decided to use the "dining room" as a playroom and the other one as our bedroom.

Upstairs we have given the big room to DS1 who is 6 and DS2, who is coming up for 2, is in the "study" with a view to them sharing when DS2 is a bit older.

The room is too big for our needs in a bedroom plus I like them being upstairs mainly because we stay up later and don't want to disturb them plus, sometimes, we leave for work very early so, again, I don't want them disturbed.

I'm just not sure them sharing is fair on them and I'm concerned that it could be a disaster.

For those of you whose children share a room, how do you get it to work? Any tips?

OP posts:
upsideup · 17/04/2018 22:45

I wouldnt make them share if it wasnt neccesary which is sounds like its not, unless they want to.
Presumably as they get older and may not want to share any more they wont need the playroom?

shouldwestayorshouldwego · 17/04/2018 22:47

They just have to put up with it but spend most of their time downstairs. Is there any way that you can divide the room up?

tinyme77 · 17/04/2018 22:49

Sharing is much more fun at that age.

callies · 17/04/2018 22:49

Sharing is fine in small children. I think it is unfair as they get older though.

SleepingStandingUp · 17/04/2018 22:49

What harm do you think it will cause? They'll be fine, it's a large room so you can always divide it artificially at least and as they're the only ones up there it'll be nice for them. If one of them wants to object they get the tiny box room

nokidshere · 17/04/2018 22:50

Why is it "not fair" to share?

If it's a huuuuge room then it can be bunks and play are for when they are small and easily divided up with wardrobes/screen/shelving when they are older.

Millions of children share bedrooms.

NapQueen · 17/04/2018 22:51

Of course sharing is fine! Ours (dd 6 and ds 3) share and will do for at least another 2 years before we move.

Once your kids are teenagers you wont need a playroom anymore and maybe one could move into there and have the tiny study as a tv den for them.

TroubledLichen · 17/04/2018 22:52

Absolutely fine if it’s what works best for you as a family. Although be prepared for that to change as they get older; my cousins loved sharing at that age, fast forward 5 years and they were killing each other.

umizoomi · 17/04/2018 22:52

Sounds fab! Mine are the same age gap and don't share so in my opinion do it sooner rather than later as the eldest will get used to their own (massive) space. I think sharing is a good thing but inherently easier if you start from a young age and the age gap is small.

Are you happy to change the set up in later years? My 10 year old is now at the point he wants his privacy and wouldn't be happy sharing with his brother (6) all the time. Also are you going to have all toys downstairs in the playroom so the 2 yr old has no access to Lego etc ?

PerfectlyDone · 17/04/2018 22:53

My now 8 and 10 year old share a room by choice and have done for 4 years.
They love it and it frees a room to be a family XBox room (we also have 2 teenagers).

Whenever they don't want to share anymore, we can make changes to allow them a room each.

Go for it and do whatever suits your family just now.

Somerville · 17/04/2018 22:54

Loads of littllies like yours share bedrooms, and mostly enjoy it, too. It's when they're older and needing to study that it's a problem, but by then you won't need a separate playroom.

neeps1207 · 17/04/2018 22:57

This sounds exactly like my old house. My DS1 (6) and DS2 (3) have always shared a bedroom. They had the huge attic bedroom in our converted bungalow and they loved it. One half was their playroom and the other half was more of a quiet space with their beds. The hall/landing we used as a small tv room when they had friends over. We have just moved to a 4 bed bungalow and they will still be sharing a room. I fondly remember sharing with my sister when we were both young, although I fully anticipate my older DS will want his own room when he gets older, but for now they are both a comfort to each other and I love hearing them giggling as they go to sleep or when they wake in the morning.

FlickingVees · 17/04/2018 22:58

Sharing is fine if they’re young and the same sex.

You might want to put up a curtain across the room, or a partition of some sort as their bedtimes become more different as time goes on.

I don’t think sharing is a bad thing for them.
How are they going to plot against you if they’re in solitary isolation?

Just as well you’re not outnumbered!

CallingDannyBoy · 17/04/2018 23:02

My boy / girl twins share at 7 and really enjoy it. Whilst it helps that they have the same bedtime there are times they get a bit silly and egg each other on. They really enjoy it and get up to lots of mischief.

Original poster
abstractlife · 17/04/2018 23:03

DS1 is already complaining about the possibility Hmm It's not ideal for them to share at the moment as DS2 is not the best at going to bed! And wakes up frequently crying.

The playroom could be a bedroom but for selfish reasons I'd rather not if they got on okay sharing Grin I like having the toys out of the main living room and being able to shut the door on the mess should guests arrive! They play with their toys in the lounge anyway but it means they're not all stored in there! And they can watch a dvd in the playroom if they want.

Plus we could use it as a dining room if we have guests round whereas we couldn't if it was a bedroom and the lounge isn't big enough to entertain.

OP posts:
Original poster
abstractlife · 17/04/2018 23:05

I just worry it may be too much for them being together practically all the time. DS1 likes to play on his own sometimes and DS2 winds him up and wrecks his games Hmm

OP posts:
Namechange128 · 17/04/2018 23:12

Loads of kids share - until very recently hardly any kids would have their own room, and it's really not a hardship, especially at this age.
With ours, they each have a bedside table that is private and the other one isn't allowed to open (from experience, we have also had to say that they can only put their own things in there, otherwise it becomes a good way of teasing!) and that you have to be invited to come onto the other's bed. They are generally fine, mostly they want to play in the living room anyway, or if the eldest wants to do something that DD2 will break, she is allowed to use our room if she asks.

Poptart4 · 17/04/2018 23:13

Ffs!! Since when did sharing a room become a hardship for children.

I shared with my sister for 18yrs and everyone I know shared with their siblings through out their childhood. We are all well adjusted happy adults.

Get a grip op, they'll be fine.

Mumofkids · 17/04/2018 23:15

Mine have always shared, often through choice. Even teenagers. I've no idea where this notion that every child must have their own room comes from. Every child needs their own bed and bit of space but they don't 'need' their own room. My 5 and 2 yr olds share and love it. Neither likes being alone at night.

SleepingStandingUp · 17/04/2018 23:19

How much time does 6 yo spend in his bedroom though? Jugs have to learn to share. 2 yo will get less annoying, but its old enough to start learning not to break stuff. 6 yo can have the option of the tiny room if he doesn't want to share because it isn't fair to made his brother have it because HE wants the big one to himself?

purplelila2 · 17/04/2018 23:24

What's wrong with sharing a bedroom?
I'm 33 I grew up in a 3 bedroom semi with 4 siblings. Parents in one rooms and male siblings in one and female in another.

I don't get why it's such a big deal?

And currently I've got a 2 bedroom house with 3 kids we will eventually buy a bigger one when we can afford it again siblings in one room and youngest in with us.

And before anyone says why did we have 3 kids in a small house Id rather that and have my kids and not put my life on hold due to not being able to afford a bigger house....

It's not only the 'rich' that should have kids!

Back to you OP nothing wrong with sharing rooms at all !

GoldenLambs · 17/04/2018 23:25

It depends if they get on or not really, that's the key. What is your plan B if it doesn't work for some reason? But it's not inherently "unfair". It would only be unfair if one or both absolutely hated it and there were major upsets over territory/privacy all the time.

MildredHubble88 · 17/04/2018 23:26

Meh, I have 3 kids ages 5,3 and 2 sharing one room because we can't afford to move. I'm sure they won't be scarred.

Dinosaursdontgrowontrees · 17/04/2018 23:26

My children share. They are 5 and 2. We have a 2 bed house so no other option but they don't mind. They actually seem to like it. They will share for at least another year until we can hopefully move. It's no problem.

NKFell · 17/04/2018 23:27

I shared a room with 2 of my sisters growing up and it was great fun! We had a big bedroom and bunkbeds, loved it.

I have a couple of mine sharing, although admittedly I have to because I don't have a spare room, I'm honestly not sure I wouldn't have them sharing given the choice, I think it's good for children.

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