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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To have my 2 children share a bedroom?

85 replies

abstractlife · 17/04/2018 22:41

We have just moved house. It's a bungalow with an attic that's been converted into 1 huuuuuge "master" bedroom and across the hall from that is a tiny low ceilinged room described as a study.

Downstairs there are 2 bedrooms or, as listed, 1 bedroom and 1 dining room/ bedroom.

We have decided to use the "dining room" as a playroom and the other one as our bedroom.

Upstairs we have given the big room to DS1 who is 6 and DS2, who is coming up for 2, is in the "study" with a view to them sharing when DS2 is a bit older.

The room is too big for our needs in a bedroom plus I like them being upstairs mainly because we stay up later and don't want to disturb them plus, sometimes, we leave for work very early so, again, I don't want them disturbed.

I'm just not sure them sharing is fair on them and I'm concerned that it could be a disaster.

For those of you whose children share a room, how do you get it to work? Any tips?

OP posts:

MrsPepperpot79 · 18/04/2018 11:15

My two share (admittedly are twins, but no closer than normal siblings) and are 8. They enjoy it most of the time - on occasions they do want space though. Mind you, in your situation, if your elder one wants space could he not play upstairs and the youngest stay down in the playroom?

I found giving mine the choice of their own bed and allowing personalisation of "their bit" helped (ie one has floaty girly net curtains round her bed, the other has a mid sleeper with a "tent" to hide herself and its full of dinosaurs...)

This might not work when they are 14 but is ok at the moment!

Matilda1981 · 18/04/2018 11:18

My two are 4 and 6 and they share a room by choice! We live in a big old farmhouse with plenty of space yet they won’t be separated - it’s great as they play together in the mornings so at weekends we can get a tiny lie in without them coming to get us!!

wendz86 · 18/04/2018 11:18

I have a 2 bed house. My 6 and 2 year old dd's share. Isn't a problem at all. Eldest sleeps through youngest waking up . Youngest goes to bed first and then i do eldest ones stories etc. They don't really play in their room as it is too small.

Ebeneser · 18/04/2018 11:18

My niece (7) and nephew (3) share. My niece used to have terrible nightmares but since sharing she hasn’t had hardly any. They have a big bedroom with beds on opposite sides. They like sharing.
Once niece gets older this will obviously have to change, but for now it’s working out nicely.

C8H10N4O2 · 18/04/2018 11:18

When I grew up sharing was the norm. Never understood the issues with it or the idea that its somehow a hardship.

I suspect it still is the norm with property/rent prices at the levels they are.

WaxOnFeckOff · 18/04/2018 11:19

We have 4 bedrooms, DSs initially had their own rooms but wanted to share from about age 5 and 4, they shared until 11 and 10 and then moved back to having their own rooms again. They loved it and now at 17 and 16 still get on amazingly well and sometimes end up sharing a room on holiday and don't mind. Last year on holiday they had a room each but DS2 managed to infest his with ants so moved in with DS1 for half the holiday.

WaxOnFeckOff · 18/04/2018 11:20

I am one of 7, I didn't have a bedroom to myself until I bought a two bed flat with my sister at age 18.

soupforbrains · 18/04/2018 11:21

Honestly people on here are being such drama queens.

Yopu've said that you'll keep the littlest ion the smaller room until his sleeping sttles so that's no issue. There is absolutely nothing at all wrong with siblings sharing a bedroom and from what you've said it's enormous so they're not even going to be treading on each others toes much. With a playroom downstairs they won't spend all that much time upstairs anyway.

Definitely have them share. If DS1 decides he wants to be selfish about it then tell him HE can have the small room and DS2 will get the big one.

Arapaima · 18/04/2018 11:22

We have four bedrooms and three DC. Until a few months ago they chose to share - all three of them in one bedroom, and two empty bedrooms! They're 8, 10 and 12. Now they want their own rooms.

kateandme · 18/04/2018 11:22

no no don't even let it become a "thing" they will share because you tell them to.straight talking tell them.no umming or arrring or query to your voice or options just tell them too.i cant even remember my parents telling us we had to share it just was.and it was a choice or a option or a thing to complain about because mum and dad said so and that was that.
could there be a voil curtain put somewhere or round each of their beds.
make sure they have piece of furniture to themselves or at least drawers of their own.there own bits of space.treat them to repsect eacohters belonging.
things will settle.they will leanr sleep routines.they will learnt to cope.
if they see a weakening behind your decision they will jump on it.
I assume they will go to bed at different times so will surely help the sleep patterns.
and he will leanr to sleep right through a few noises in the night.my sister sleep talked and I got to the point I slept right through haha!

Mummyoflittledragon · 18/04/2018 11:24

It isn’t fair on your 6 yo if your 2 yo is crying and difficult to get to bed. Your 6 yo needs sleep too and to be refreshed and ready for school. I would look at partitioning the upstairs off if possible.

Alternatively, is the downstairs room big enough to partition a section off and add a door? You could then make that a toy storage area there. I know that would mean not having a dining room at all.

ChickenOrEgg6 · 18/04/2018 11:26

My DC (both young thankfully) may both be sharing a room with me soon, due to some rather shit circumstances. I try to remember that sometimes perfectly average small family homes house 3 or more generations. It could be worse op.

WaxOnFeckOff · 18/04/2018 11:27

Maybe the 2 year old would sleep better sharing anyway?

AnnieAnoniMouser · 18/04/2018 11:31

It’s the perfect arrangement for your bungalow for now.

Is DS2 still in a cot? If he is I’d put his ‘big boy bed’ in the big room straight away and very much make that their room, both their clothes and bits and pieces. Just put DS2 in his cot, the ‘study’ at night until he’s sleeps better and is in a bed. If he’s in a bed now I’d put him straight in there. DS1 will sleep through, or learn to, DS2 crying. I wouldn’t allow DS1 to start feeling it’s HIS room.

He can play up there in the day if he wants some space and DS can play in the playroom (MUCH better use of space than a second bedroom until they’re much older).

You can put some high shelves in the bedroom & playroom to keep delicate stuff away from DS2.

...and I’d get a video monitor, given there’s an ensuite up there...small kids and water...

Juells · 18/04/2018 11:49

Not sure if I've grasped the layout, but it seems like the 2-year-old is a long way away from your bedroom.

thecatsthecats · 18/04/2018 12:16

Seems easy peasy situation to me.

Boys share until they're old enough to need their own space and not need a playroom. Then you switch up to the upstairs room and they have one each downstairs.

I loved sharing as a child. We have a 3 bed and plans for two children, but still plan to preserve the smallest bedroom as a guest/study/dressing and laundry room for us whilst 2 kids share. Lots of room for play and storage in the 2nd bedroom.

SunwheretheFareyou · 18/04/2018 13:16

Divide the roome upstairs! Should be quite cheap and easy

Peregrane · 18/04/2018 15:43

I'm planning on putting our two kids into one bedroom because I thought it would be nicer for them than separate rooms, even though we technically speaking have the space! I imagine once they hit the teenage years it will be different, but why would it be "unfair" on small children (unless they are really disruptive for one another)?

GrumpyBagFace · 18/04/2018 16:12

I shared for my entire life! I only ever had my own room for a brief period while I was in halls at uni until I met my husband.

I've put my two in the same room for the sole reason I wanted them to share. Oh well 🤷🏼‍♀️

grasspigeons · 18/04/2018 16:20

I think sharing is fine but a lot of teens like their own space so going forward..is there a way you can even up the spaces at all? Even if it's creating a shared space in the bigger room where clothes are stored?

peacheachpearplum · 18/04/2018 16:30

I'd like to live in a mansion but until I've got the money I'll put up with what I've got. I guess teenagers have to do the same.

BeyondThePage · 18/04/2018 16:38

My girls share and always have - they are 15 and 17 and in bunk beds in one room. There is a box room too - they use that for studying/privacy.

jamoncrumpets · 18/04/2018 16:40

My 3yo DS will share with my DD after she's born. She'll be in with us for 6 mths, then they're going in together. There is no harm whatsoever in small children sharing.

Pinkvoid · 18/04/2018 16:44

If it’s the only option then sure, won’t harm them but if there is the choice to give them their own space I would do that personally.

My DD’s (5 and 6) share the master bedroom but I live in a three bed so have no choice atm.

BiddyPop · 18/04/2018 16:45

I shared a room with DSis2 until I was 15. We had 2 single beds, a locker just fitted between them, and there was a single wardrobe and a single chest of drawers at the end of the room which we also shared.

DSis3 and DSis4 also shared until then, they had a slightly smaller room as the chimney breast came up through it, so their beds were 1 against the window and the other the length of the room, and again a single wardrobe and single dressing table to share.

DBro1 and DBro 2 got the "double room" at the back of the house - plenty of space for a large locker between their beds, and a double wardrobe at the end of the room. But the downside to that was that they didn't get a move when the attic was converted. They didn't get a move until I got married (they were mid teens then) but they didn't spend a lot of time there anyway as they were at boarding school.

When the attic was converted, I got 1 single, DSis2 got the other single, and DSis3 and DSis4 moved up into the large double room upstairs (plenty of room there).

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