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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To of hidden my dp's tablet under the couch.

73 replies

Feelinghurt18 · 17/04/2018 17:27

I know I am being unreasonable I'm just feeling hurt because my DP has been watching porn either while I'm asleep or when I'm out I'm no prude I know men and some women watch it but I just find it all so disrepectful to me so today while I was cleaning I shoved his tablet as far under the couch as I could get it I will pull it back out eventually just sick of him watching porn we've already had arguments over all the half naked slappers he was following on Instagram and this just feels like another slap in the face why does he need to watch all these women when he's got me at home am I really not good enough for him.

OP posts:
Coveredinbeeeeeeeeeeeees · 17/04/2018 17:29

YABU

Why don't you tell him you're feeling insecure?

Also, sorry to be "that guy", but punctuation is your friend.

GreenStars · 17/04/2018 17:29

You need to google what commas or full stops are.

Also YABU to use 'could of' when it's 'could have'.

Shoxfordian · 17/04/2018 17:30

Yabvu and childish

Are you 15?

spicerack · 17/04/2018 17:34

@GreenStars I'm not sure you can comment on someone else's grammar when you're not putting a capital letter on " Google". Smile Bitchy and unnecessary comment, how do you know OP doesn't struggle with writing?

GreenStars · 17/04/2018 17:35

@spicerack I used it as a verb not a noun, therefore it's correct.

spicerack · 17/04/2018 17:35

also OP, YANBU to be upset but you should talk to him, it is unreasonable to hide the tablet

Original poster
Feelinghurt18 · 17/04/2018 17:36

He knows that I feel insurcue but that doesn't stop him from doing it. It didn't stop him from finding yet more to follow on Instagram even when I asked him not to my feelings on things don't matter and he doesn't see how it could he hurtful to me.

OP posts:
Original poster
Feelinghurt18 · 17/04/2018 17:37

Spicerack I have tried to but he just finds the whole thing funny and uses the excuse of he's picking up tips which just makes me feel sick.

OP posts:
Shoxfordian · 17/04/2018 17:38

Your feeling insecure is for you to manage op, not for your partner to change his behaviour. It seems like you were looking on his ipad and he's using porn or whatever when you're not around so he's not trying to make you insecure

NetVolume · 17/04/2018 17:38

Hiding his tablet won't change his behaviour.

You have a boyfriend problem not a tech problem.

spicerack · 17/04/2018 17:39

@Feelinghurt18 it's not funny to laugh at you if you're upset, maybe consider if you want a partner who doesn't think about your feelings

Original poster
Feelinghurt18 · 17/04/2018 17:41

Your right Shoxfordian but I just feel like we've had this conversation a million times before and it's just in one ear and out the other and it hits nothing in between.

Netvoloume I know it won't change his behaviour and chances are he will just find other ways to watch it but no matter what I say he won't stop.

OP posts:
Shoxfordian · 17/04/2018 17:42

If its really important to you that he doesn't use porn at all and he wants to continue using it then enforce that boundary and end things with him because it's not going to work

Original poster
Feelinghurt18 · 17/04/2018 17:42

Your right Spicerack am not sure I want to be with someone who just ignores everything I say and laughs at me my feelings on things really don't matter to him one bit.

OP posts:
Original poster
Feelinghurt18 · 17/04/2018 17:44

I don't think it will work not while he wants to carry on watching porn when my backs turned he's learnt all this from his dad because his mum is still going through all the same stuff with his dad and she just accepts.

OP posts:
Shoxfordian · 17/04/2018 17:45

How long have you been together? Do you live with him or have children?

Cowsopinion · 17/04/2018 17:46

You don't have to put up with it OP.

For some porn isn't an issue. For others it is. It's up to the individual to decide where their boundaries are.

It's ok for porn to be a dealbreaker for you.

Ignore the shitty punctuation comments. I read your post perfectly fine.

Skarossinkplunger · 17/04/2018 17:47

Spicerack It is abundantly clear from the rest of the OP that she doesn’t struggle with her writing.

OP YABU to try and police his behaviour, you need to talk to him about it.

Original poster
Feelinghurt18 · 17/04/2018 17:52

Shoxforidian nearly a year we live together but no children we planned to have children but after this I'm not so sure.

Cowsopionion thank you I thought it wasn't an issue for me but it is espically when he finds it funny and just doesn't listen to me about it. Thank you Smile

Skarossplunger I know I was wrong to hide the tablet I will take it back out from underneath the couch before he comes home. I've tried talking to him about it and he just won't listen he just tells me that he's picking up tips.

OP posts:
spicerack · 17/04/2018 17:52

@Skarossinkplunger But she may struggle with using punctuation and that's fine.

mogloveseggs · 17/04/2018 17:54

Laughing and saying he’s picking up soon tips is really rather disrespectful to you. Flowers op

mogloveseggs · 17/04/2018 17:54

Some!

Shoxfordian · 17/04/2018 17:55

How easy is it for you to separate? Do you have some friends to go stay with maybe? Tbh you seem quite young and your partner doesn't seem kind from his comments.

tccat · 17/04/2018 17:59

Oh I just knew the spelling police would be out the minute I saw the title, fucking idiots trying to make someone feel bad, you can quite easily understand the op without having the lack of manners to point out mistakes

Original poster
Feelinghurt18 · 17/04/2018 18:05

Spicerack I do struggle with using punctuation at times.

Thank you mogloveseggs that's what I find so disrepectful that and he knows how I feel about it.

Shoxfordian I can go and stay with my parents and would you believe me if I said that my DP is 25 and this is how he acts.

Thank you tccat Smile

OP posts:
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