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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To of hidden my dp's tablet under the couch.

73 replies

Feelinghurt18 · 17/04/2018 17:27

I know I am being unreasonable I'm just feeling hurt because my DP has been watching porn either while I'm asleep or when I'm out I'm no prude I know men and some women watch it but I just find it all so disrepectful to me so today while I was cleaning I shoved his tablet as far under the couch as I could get it I will pull it back out eventually just sick of him watching porn we've already had arguments over all the half naked slappers he was following on Instagram and this just feels like another slap in the face why does he need to watch all these women when he's got me at home am I really not good enough for him.

OP posts:

Whatshallidonowpeople · 17/04/2018 18:07

It's not trying take people feel bad, it's giving them an opportunity to better themselves.

Shoxfordian · 17/04/2018 18:12

I think you should go stay with them
Yeah a 25 year old boy will still act like that....

Dangerousmonkey · 17/04/2018 18:13

YANBU. Not respecting anyone using porn is entirely normal. Don't let the cool girl brigade tell you any different.
No bullshit misogyny from me about you being jealous and thanks for outing the spineless hand maidens and women hating wankers.

Original poster

Feelinghurt18 · 17/04/2018 18:22

Thank you Shoxfordian I will pack up and go and stay with them. Suppose I should take the tablet out from underneath the couch before I leave. Yeah I thought he was a grown man but now I seriously think otherwise glad I didn't book that hotel for our planned holiday now.

Thank you Dangerousmonkey I know it was wrong of me to hide the tablet and I know it's normal for people to watch porn but seriously not when your suppose to be in a relationship. Thank you it's not that I am jealous just very insurce and his little porn habit doesn't make that any better. I know a lot of people are fine with it but I'm not and he knows that.

OP posts:

VladmirsPoutine · 17/04/2018 18:23

half naked slappers

Yabu. You sound like a pain.

Idontdowindows · 17/04/2018 18:25

Feeling, if you've explained to him how you feel about him doing that, and he disregards your feelings, then what exactly is it that it would take for him to take your feelings into consideration?

Because from where I'm standing, he's happy to put his knob ahead of your feelings and that's not someone I would want to be with.

Original poster

Feelinghurt18 · 17/04/2018 18:34

Idontdowindows I don't think he will ever put my feelings ahead of getting his knob out and getting his kicks I don't matter and I don't think I ever will so don't see the point in me sticking round if I matter so little to him and I'm not wasting my energy on having another conversation with him about it all when I know he won't take a blind bit of notice to me.

OP posts:

Idontdowindows · 17/04/2018 18:41

Hun, if that is the case, don't stick around. You deserve so much better.

MagneticMan · 17/04/2018 18:43

YABU to call women you don't know "half naked slappers". It's not their fault your partner follows them on Insta

LovelySouffle · 17/04/2018 18:49

While hubby is sorting out his dick, you should sort out your ducks.

Original poster

Feelinghurt18 · 17/04/2018 18:50

Thank you Idontdowindows I know I do and I will find better one day and hopefully it will be with someone who doesn't put porn before my feelings

OP posts:

Original poster

Feelinghurt18 · 17/04/2018 18:51

Lovelysouffle thank you I'm going to think I might go on that holiday after all but on my own instead of with him.

OP posts:

Shoxfordian · 17/04/2018 18:52

Yeah go back to your Mum sweetie.
I don't think it'd be the worst thing to leave the ipad under the sofa either

VladmirsPoutine · 17/04/2018 18:54

Typical. Agree with those that agree with you but overlook those that don't. Your DP would probably be better off without you. A holiday to get over a man watching porn. Give me strength.

Mrsbird311 · 17/04/2018 18:55

A year? No kids? Bollocks tonyhst, get rid!! He’s not respecting your boundary’s and laughing at you insecurities, do not have kids with him, he has no respect for you!!
It’s okay not to like porn you don’t have to be a cool girlfriend and accept it !! If you don’t want porn in your relationship, get rid!!!

WhatToDoAboutWailmerGoneRogue · 17/04/2018 18:58

YABU. Him watching porn does not mean you’re “not enough” for him. I’m the porn watcher in our relationship and it doesn’t change how attractive I find DH and how much he turns me on. We still have a regular healthy sex life.

You are being very childish and you shouldn’t attempt to control his behaviour because of your own personal issues.

Idontdowindows · 17/04/2018 19:01

People having boundaries is not blooming childish!

If porn is a dealbreaker for OP, it is a dealbreaker for OP. It does not make her childish, it does not make her uncool and it doesn't mean she has issues.

FFS

ReanimatedSGB · 17/04/2018 19:05

It doesn't sound like this relationship is making you happy, so the best thing to do is call a halt to it and move on. You have no right to enforce a porn ban on your partner - he doesn't have to agree with you or obey you - but if it's a hard limit for you, you have the option of ending the relationship. That sounds like the best idea.

WhatToDoAboutWailmerGoneRogue · 17/04/2018 19:06

People having boundaries is not blooming childish!

Idontdowindows I called her childish because she hid her DPs tablet to stop him going on it.

If porn is a dealbreaker for OP, it is a dealbreaker for OP. It does not make her childish, it does not make her uncool and it doesn't mean she has issues.

She knows he uses it, so if it’s a dealbreaker, she should have left by now. She has also freely admitted she has issues with her jealousy and insecurities.

Confusedbeetle · 17/04/2018 19:08

Never mind the grammar police. Porn is foul, disrespectful, misogynistic and hurtful. it isn't clever or funny. When I was young we all made an effort to be "liberal" and "open-minded". it was the 6o's. I now am not afraid of the sex lib brigade and see it for what it is. Many of the women in porn are sex victims, those that arent will regret what they are doing big time

Juells · 17/04/2018 19:12

What a load of horrible posters in this thread. Attacking her for her punctuation and grammar, laughing at the fact that she finds porn insulting.

It fucking IS insulting. And if her tool of a BF is doing this now, imagine what he'll be doing at 40.

Get out while you can.

Lethaldrizzle · 17/04/2018 19:19

The childish act of hiding a tablet is far less annoying than some knob addicted to porn. Hide the damn thing then leave the knob jockey.

WhatToDoAboutWailmerGoneRogue · 17/04/2018 19:21

The childish act of hiding a tablet is far less annoying than some knob addicted to porn.

Lethaldrizzle There’s no indication he’s addicted. Even if he’s a frequent user, it doesn’t equate to being addicted.

DanceDisaster · 17/04/2018 19:24

Agree with pps. Go and stay with your mum or friends. It’s not that he’s watching porn, it’s that he’s smirking and taking the piss out of you when you’re clearly upset. What a cunt.

whatwouldkeithRichardsdo2 · 17/04/2018 20:11

He won't change unless he has to.

Talk to him. Leave him if he can't give you what you need.

Sad as it is, this is what it is.

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