To be depressed where I live?

[LatIt]

Okay, not actually depressed but feel incredibly down about the whole place and think it's as dull as dust?

I've been depressed in the real sense of the word so perhaps that's not the word to use.

I just think the whole town where I live is incredibly dead. I moved here 8 years ago when I married DH.

Anyone else feel this way? You can all probably guess the town, no doubt

You're dh's family too and should come first.

Please don't sacrifice your own and dd's happiness for his.

Up north is cheap

It’s because it’s so flat I think. And also depends on the brick colour of houses. Cambridgeshire is a horrid grey yellow colour.

If your husband won’t move (and obviously it depends on your mental health as to how much you would need vs want to live somewhere else) then maybe you do need to look at what you can change where you are - e.g. sprucing up your own home, finding new interesting places to visit (there must be some?!), maybe learning a new skill as that does tend to have a positive knock on effect in terms of attitude even if you are in a less than perfect environment.

Mina I honestly don't know how to pinpoint what I dislike so much about it. It's just all so grey and miserable

Everything is so far apart from each other

I don't drive so that's a big issue, but I can't afford to for a good while yet anyway, and it wouldn't be much better. Still living in the same place

what sort of thing would you be looking for in a home town? I always thought Luton was at least a fairly easy drive to some nice places but I appreciate you might be sick of driving!

I think you are being harsh about luton actually.

Have you moved out of London? Nowhere has the same amenities and if it's amenities you're after you will be disappointed anywhere.

Having said that you shouldn't live in a place where you are unhappy. Can't you compromise? Is there a place fairly near that has what you're looking for?

What are you looking for?

x post
I think the whole of the UK has been grey and miserable this year, it's been a very long winter, which hasn't made things easier.

however, in my part of London we are losing every inch of green space to blocks of flats, so I don't know, even without a car you might be better where you are. Clearly overdevelopment is a thing.

I have PILs not far from there and I’ve made it clear if they want to be looked after in old age they would have to move to us - I’m not moving to that area. I can totally see wher you’re coming from.

This winter hasn’t helped. The sun needs to come out for more two days per month and then even Luton won’t look as bad...

Can I ask what doesn't bore you Latit?
You have written off sport, music, art... as well as a whole community.
I do not live in Bedfordshire but I have friends who do, and they seem to have productive, happy lives with children at thriving schools.
Could this be more about you then the place in which you live.

Surely public transport in Luton is better than most smaller places and it has a decent city centre. No-one's claiming its cosmopolitan or attractive.

Cambridge isn't too far and is very un-grey.

Town centre I should say

Bedford is actually prettier if pretty is what you're after and obviously nearby

I have cousins who live in Essex, I also lived in Essex for a few years in my late teens and visit every so often for a few weeks at a time.

It's so much nicer. And I'm not talking leafy green Essex, I'm talking Basildon/Billericay/Thurrock. Love it. Nothing lively about it really but the whole place just seems better

I know they always say 'grass isn't always greener' etc, but i feel differently just being in London of all places.

I can't even pinpoint what I dislike so much about here...

Some of the things bothering me -

Taxi drivers don't speak great English/don't speak to you or acknowledge you at all

Nothing family orientated, really

The buildings and housing all just seems a bit, bleurgh.

I live in the more expensive part of Luton and it's a lot better but we have nothing here in this exact area other than a swimming pool and a shop.

Other than that, you have to adventure into the town awful place.

Even the dog seems happier when he goes on holiday elsewhere!

Sorry i missed the post where you said you are from London and DH works in Luton. I think Luton is the most city-like location in that area. You still haven't really said what it is you are looking for but it sounds like you want to be able to afford to live in London but can't so have moved out.

Are London nurseries and schools in the kind of areas you can afford really so superior to the luton ones? Where I live people move to escape London.

Can I ask what doesn't bore you Latit?
You have written off sport, music, art... as well as a whole community
I do not live in Bedfordshire but I have friends who do, and they seem to have productive, happy lives with children at thriving schools
Could this be more about you then the place in which you live

I love horse riding, ballet, shopping, sailing, evenings out etc.

There's a lot I like, it isn't me.

They may well have happy lives and children in brilliant schools but the whole of Bedfordshire is much much more than just little old Luton/Dunstable

Nothing family oriented - what does that mean? Do you just mean no facilities generally?

What do they have in Basildon, Thurrock etc that you like? I do have friends in Thurrock but they are very involved in their local community - have you looked into community groups in Luton?

Spring Yes and it's very Pakistani Muslim orientated (groups in Luton that are community based), and most are religious based. It sounds biased and ridiculous of me to say but it is very true.

My best friend is Indian and never feels welcome in any of the mother and baby groups when she went. I felt the same... so just stuck with my friend!

There is a very strong Muslim Pakistani community

we keep cross posting

a quick google brings adult ballet classes in Luton and Dunstable immediately, are they all over subscribed?

If you mean watching ballet, then I know the local cinemas are very good about showing performances if you don't want to trek to London. I see ballet at the local cinema because of the price

I've been to Luton a few times, I know what you mean. There isn't a whole lot going on there. Luckily London is close by. Can you escape there more often?

Have you been to the library theatre? Mead open farm? Stockwood discovery centre, whipsnade zoo? The hundreds of baby and toddler groups? All the parks? Bowling? Trampolining? Cinema?

How is there nothing family orientated?

It is a very grey town I ADMIT but there is loads to do. Why can't you just move to a more leafy suburb or as I say Bedford?

I think the problem is you have no car and are used to London transport links. Maybe you would be happier in a small market town with a train station? At least you would be able to walk to shops and park and maybe a swimming pool and rest would be a train ride away.

There's a lovely two bed house only gorgeous village near Luton, plus great schools and lovely lifestyle. The metropolis of Stevenage is 20 mins away, Cambridge 45

Ahh, I forgot to mention the cinema/bowling in Luton!

It's called 'The Galaxy' That itself is bloody depressing. Even the arcade is dated, and not in a nice way.

It's all very bleak

I know the area, and I can understand why you wouldn't want to live in Luton, it feels depressed and not thriving. There's a reason it's so close to London yet still so cheap (no gentrification there).

It's true that places like St Albans and Hitchin are very expensive now, but there are parts of Bedfordshire that offer pleasant villages / small towns still within easy reach of the hospital and still commutable to London that wouldn't be so pricey. Bedfordshire is never going to feel cosmopolitan though!

You've been there 8 years. Have you made roots for YOU (not just your DH's family and friends?). It can be hard when you commute during the week.

The metropolis of Stevenage is 20 mins

Hmmm I am not sure Stevenage will solve the OP's problem somehow

I live pretty near you. I have found it brilliant for family stuff. Dunstable Downs on the door, and you have the zoo, which if you get membership is perfect for family outings. There are lots of familly farms, cinemas, libraries etc. There's a new lesuire centre being built in Dunstable too (I think), so some investment going into the area.
I also horse ride, and compared to where I grew up (South coast), it's a much more horsey area. If you like sailing then Willen Lake in MK isn't far. OK, it's not great adventure, but enough to keep it going as a hobby. As for evenings out, then there are lots of nice country pubs around.
I appreciate Luton itself isn't great, but I think if you have the time to spread your wings further than the town itself, it's a very nice place to live.

When did you last go on holiday? No matter how fantastic a time I have away I’m always glad to get home and appreciate it. Isn’t it sunny in Luton today?

Now I've heard it all
Go on holiday to see if you hate your home town less when you get back.