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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To wonder why male things are always better?

324 replies

Bumpitybumper · 17/04/2018 10:44

Has anyone else noticed things typically associated with men are considered to be better? Examples I've noticed:

Trivial
Names - baby girls being given male names is considered cool and trendy (James, Noah etc) but this seems to seldom work in reverse.
Colours - pink is often rejected even for girls because it's too 'girly' but blue is acceptable for both sexes.

Non-trivial
Professions - women are encouraged to enter typically make dominated STEM industries but little is done to address the appalling pay, conditions and underappreciation of female denominated sectors such as teaching, caring etc
Childcare - the onus seems to be on getting more women into FT work rather than spending time at home to raise their children. Tax system and free childcare entitlements designed to encourage this rather than to incentivise men AND women to be SAHPs.

There are loads of other things I've noticed too.

AIBU to be deeply cynical about why the traditionally male approach is always seen to be superior and to worry that this isn't the best way to achieve equality?

OP posts:

IfNot · 19/04/2018 10:17

Silver RE working class jobs in the past- mill work was back breaking and very dangerous. And sorry but in all cultures women were involved in medicine (treating people with herbs) as well as midwifery. And It's a straight fact that the minute something becomes lucrative men take it over. As for science and technology, how many women have been written out of its history? Yes girls do better academically but they lack confidence to go for "male" jobs. If you are told "oh all the real coding was done by men" etc it just reinforces the idea a that there is some kind of natural order whereby having a willy makes you more competent. You can be what you can't see.
I really hope you don't teach teenagers!
And how lovely for you that your husband chose to be a pt worker snd SAHD, and as an academic this was acceptable, but in the world most people live in men are still not asking for flexible working, and then sure as shit aren't getting it.
Girls may get a head start but ultimately they are set up to fail, with men being supported (the supported men thread is worth a read if anyone can link) and women's opportunities utterly stalling when they choose to become parents.
Men also choose to become parents, and don't have to make a stark choice between a fullfillng career and a family.

And we are not "just animals". We have morality, conciousness,imagination,the ability to think conceptually and a sense of humour. Well, some of us do.
You seem Hell bent on denying that there are any structural obstacles to women getting a better deal, or any ways in which male things are deemed better than female things, even with pages of examples.
It's very strange.

JacquesHammer · 19/04/2018 10:36

@SilverTIRFer

Have you ever worked in a male centric industry as a matter of interest?

IfNot · 19/04/2018 10:37

Should have typed you can't be what you can't see.

silverTIRFer · 19/04/2018 10:50

@IfNot

I tried to read you post. I really did.

@JacquesHammer

Yes. A decade in academia (CS) before moving to teaching in secondary then management, then part time teaching alongside OFSTED (and similar) then became a Head and then Principal.

In most of these roles I think there have been more men than women. I assume that's what "male centric" means.

As someone who has the final say in all recruitment, I buck the trends of having more men than women in Prep, more women than men in Senior and a fairly even split in management (although all of the SMT are childless or have older children). This has been through complete and deliberate ignorance of quotas and "female recruitment" or otherwise.

I hire the best person for the role and wouldn't lose a wink of sleep if that was 100% one sex or another or all women in lower positions or what have you.

BertrandRussell · 19/04/2018 10:56

"I tried to read you post. I really did."

And failed? Gosh-I didn't think there were many long words in it-what did you struggle with?

JacquesHammer · 19/04/2018 11:01

Yes. A decade in academia (CS) before moving to teaching in secondary then management, then part time teaching alongside OFSTED (and similar) then became a Head and then Principal

Teaching isn't a male centric industry.

I hire the best person for the role

Indeed - as would I. But what I want is the opportunity for women to apply for roles as equally as men which isn't happening in certain industries.

BertrandRussell · 19/04/2018 11:03

"I hire the best person for the role"

Of course. Nobody is suggesting anything different.

BlaaBlaaBlaa · 19/04/2018 11:54

Academia is a male centric industry - although in some sectors this is changing. Teaching is female dominated but there tends to be more men in senior management roles.

JacquesHammer · 19/04/2018 11:56

Academia is a male centric industry - although in some sectors this is changing. Teaching is female dominated but there tends to be more men in senior management roles

I specifically didn't mention academia in my reply as I'm not familiar enough with the industry to know whether it was male/female oriented or not. That's interesting to note though!

BlaaBlaaBlaa · 19/04/2018 12:03

I'm an academic in an education faculty. Even though education is a female dominated profession the majority of academics in my faculty are male.

Original poster

Bumpitybumper · 19/04/2018 12:19

Out if interest, why do you think that it's that way BlaaBlaaBlaa?

OP posts:

Blaablaablaa · 19/04/2018 12:29

A number of reasons. In the past it's been quite difficult to secure part time work, academic contracts can often be fixed term and difficult to come by meaning you needed to travel/relocate . Academics are under a lot of pressure to publish regularly making a career break such as maternity leave difficult as it was often viewed as career suicide.

However, initiatives such as Athena Swann are making a difference.

I actually find it family friendly as I manage my own time ( apart from my timetable but I get a say in that) I can work from home and get very generous annual leave. I'm also quieter during school holidays.

Very difficult to do if you don't have a supportive partner though.

SherbrookeFosterer · 19/04/2018 13:54

Become a lesbian, OP, have the best of both worlds.

bsbabas · 19/04/2018 14:34

Shaving foam and razors clothes all better quality and last longer

IfNot · 19/04/2018 14:40

"I tried to read you post. I really did."

And failed? Gosh-I didn't think there were many long words in it-what did you struggle with?

Arf Bernard!(I can't spell long words )
Its not actually the refusal to see what's plainly obvious that's annoying, as much as the smug patronising tone.

Anyway. Before dc I worked in a very male dominated career, in the sense that the top brass and the decision makers were men, although there were lots of women on the lower levels. I think it's a form of insanity to say that there is nothing stopping young women from rising to the top in industries like that. I was a young woman in that industry, and while I was offered money for sex by my boss, I was never able to get into the section of the business I wanted to be in. (Difficult to explain without outing self! )

Ukelou · 19/04/2018 14:51

I worked in a well shop and without exception if female customers complained there complaint was dismissed by the male managers (and sadly sometimes the female managers) as them being a bit hysterical/unreasonable . But if a man complained it was taken very seriously.

Ukelou · 19/04/2018 14:53

Sorry my point being even their complaints are considered better, more valid.

Lweji · 19/04/2018 15:48

Become a lesbian, OP, have the best of both worlds.

Can you explain it?

theCrossing · 19/04/2018 15:51

Ukelou

Did they?

Well, well, well!

IfyouseeRitaMoreno · 19/04/2018 16:00

@ifnot’s post was pretty easy to read and understand. And I’m not even an academic

Woshambo · 19/04/2018 16:21

I like the names Lyndsay and Adrian for boys. There were a few boys I knew names Kelly or Ashley.
Men's t-shirts are by far more comfortable and better made than women's.
I don't feel any of the sexism etc holds me back in life. As a child I was a Tom boy and it was frowned upon but I climbed trees and wore my dresses on dirt bikes until my grandparents just gave in and bought me appropriate clothing for my activities.
I have a job with equal pay to the men I work with.
I do agree with the stay at him parenting. My partner assumed that I would just give up my job when I give birth. Not sure why as my wages are double his. I have proposed we both go part time lol

IfNot · 19/04/2018 16:50

Good for you Washambo!

RidingWindhorses · 19/04/2018 21:35

Ah, you're one of them

???

It's not the new user/name change primarily that makes me question your gender - I don't buy that a woman in teaching or academe would be this ignorant.

lifetothefull · 19/04/2018 22:44

Getting girls into football / rugby seems to be the way to go, but raising the profile of netball is not a priority.

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