Petty random things that make you want to lose your shit

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Colleague buys 2 bananas every Monday. Has done so ever since I've worked there (1+ year). They sit on her desk until they go bad and then get thrown away on a Friday. EVERY week. I've never seen her eat one of the damn things yet come Monday another 2 take up residence on her desk.

Otherwise she's a lovely woman and a great pal. But those bananas... just looking at them makes me ragey.

Anyone else have totally petty, pointless things that you should ignore but instead feeds the inner rage demon?

UGG boots
The sight of them makes me feel irritable, somebody walking normally in them and my blood pressure is starting to rise worryingly. If I catch either sight or sound of that schlep, schlep, schlep noise that people with collapsing UGG boots do I am dangerously close to breaking point

Thank you all for making me feel normal

Getting sleeves wet when washing dishes. Why does one always fall down? I HATE wet sleeves.

And the water going down my pj sleeve when brushing my teeth is another one.

Colleagues talking in fake 'American' voices. They sound all whiney and nasal and like a bunch of teenagers not bloody adults. Stfu!

People who say "am I the only one who "

Really? A cursory glance at the other comments would show that it is in fact a very popular opinion. I see it on here, on Twitter and on FB. Really riles me, and I get that it might even just be a turn of phrase, but gets my blood pressure up

People who sit on the aisle seat when I’m on the window seat and don’t stand up when I say ‘excuse me, I’m getting off here.’ They stay sitting and swivel their knees out as I stand there with bags of shopping and a large arse forcing me to rub against them/bash shopping in their face as I squeeze out. JUST HAVE THE COURTESY TO STAND UP FOR FIVE SECONDS WILL YOU. Makes me furious

Another vote for whistling. When I am Grand Ruler Of Everything, whistling will be punishable with five years’ hard labour.

When people walk so close behind you they step on the back of your flip flops. My friends still make fun of me for a massive temper tantrum I had on holiday 13 years ago where one friend kept fucking doing it and by day 5 I turned round and shouted "For fucks sake Jenna will you fucking get out my arse when you walk!!". Everyone laughed their heads off at me and now jokingly 'duck' when I approach them in flip flops I still think I under reacted. So annoying!

People eating on the radio

Yes 100% to this!

A radio presenter was talking about chewing gum a few weeks ago and he got a listener to chew some while he tried to guess what flavour it was I had to switch it off as it made me want to scream!

Also, yes to cereal! Also, people eating whilst walking in general - last time I was in London, there was a young man eating a chinese noodle type meal whist hurrying for his train. Surely, if he'd just kept the lid on, he'd have been able to run faster, got on the train quicker and then been able to enjoy the food more (and not risked choking himself)?! I mentioned him to my son later and he said 'yeah, I spotted him and knew you'd be hating it!'

People who drive at 40mph everywhere. 40mph through 30 limits, then when it turns into a NSL they still drive at 40mph.

Hubby putting top-down ketchup/salad cream back in the cupboard with the top up. Every.Single.Time

I stare in wonder at people who eat whilst walking down the street. How can they do it?!

Oh posts on here that are barely comprehensible because of all the typos and autocorrects. I’m not talking one or two typos, I mean when every second word is a disaster. I mean ffs don’t you even cast your eye over what your typing??

*you're 😛

Agree with washing the sieve. Also I always put it in with the cutlery to drain but it's unwieldy and precarious and then I get pissed off with that.

People not indicating at junctions.
Poor spelling and grammar.
DH leaving snotty tissues around.
FIL when he decorates the top of the peanut butter in a twirly fashion : I just want to stab the peanut butter with a dagger to destroy it.
Loads more, I'm a right barrel of laughs, me

I mean ffs don’t you even cast your eye over what your typing??

Sorry but

On my list are the frequent social media posts of a 38 year old ex-colleague referring to her 'Mummy' or to 'yummy' food she has just eaten. Both of those words make me want to peel my own face off with my fingernails when used by grown adults in any context except talking to small children (and even then 'yummy' is borderline).

Putting on duvet covers gives me the absolute rage. I feel as if duvet becomes an animated thing and I'm fighting with it.

A friend said "Holibobs" on FB today. Gave me the rage I don't even know quite why. Maybe because she's a grown woman in her 40s and that word sounds dumb.

I am afraid that one day I will be unable to stop myself from launching at someone sitting in my vicinity loudly chewing gum, mouth open and smacking their lips, temple muscles visibly moving as they're chewing so hard..

XH used to bite cashew nuts in half before consuming. It was the shape his mouth made when he did it that wound me up so much (also used to see it when he was giving me oral sex so you can imagine how that used to go)

^ The comment that broke the internet😮😂

Shodan I'm sure I felt my BP rise reading that this so I'm enraged on your behalf. Bet you couldn't even look at him..

The endless futile repetition of tasks, washing up, laundry, dust, I don't mind the stuff I get paid to do. Just the drudgery of keeping house. Which is why rich people have staff. Win win.

Sometimes people's very voice and breathing does it for me. Except mine of course.

Another one from me... Those Dyson Airblade hand dryersAll they do is spray water up my arms and under my watch strap. They are shitThere's always a layer of scum in the bottom of them too

People typing 'ha ha' at the end of a sentence ha ha.

Folding the hand towel neatly and finding that someone has lazily wiped their hands and left it crunched up.

People that make a loud slapping noise walking in flip flops.

People that drag their feet along the ground when wearing (hideous) Ugg(ly) boots or the fake versions that collapse at the ankles.

Kissing noises on TV when they make eating and slurping noises on each other's lips.

Dh scraping and scraping and scraping his cereal bowl every morning. While he's munching, he scrapes around the sides of the dish. Scrape, clink, scrape, clink. For 27 years!

Being called “love or sweetheart” by a checkout operator esp if they are younger than me

Does my head in. Madam will do fine thanks

Whilst I don’t like any pet name by someone I don’t know, Madam makes me proper batshit crazy, I’m certainly not an owner of a whore-house.

Shoadan I’d kill to know what that face looked like, but I won’t ask.

Serena Please, please tell me your last sentence is meant to be ironic?

Water in the rubber gloves

When I had early menopause I actually had a fight with a loaf of bread which wouldn't go back in the wrapper properly! I could have chucked it out the window!