Petty random things that make you want to lose your shit

[user1497787373]

Colleague buys 2 bananas every Monday. Has done so ever since I've worked there (1+ year). They sit on her desk until they go bad and then get thrown away on a Friday. EVERY week. I've never seen her eat one of the damn things yet come Monday another 2 take up residence on her desk.

Otherwise she's a lovely woman and a great pal. But those bananas... just looking at them makes me ragey.

Anyone else have totally petty, pointless things that you should ignore but instead feeds the inner rage demon?

People spelling can’t like carn’t 😒

Oh god, this has wound me up for years!!

Overuse of the word amazing. Used to describe things that are just fairly good.
See also "passionate about" for quite liking something. Usually something utterly dull.

Argh, I've thought of another one. The words "eldest" and "item" make me want to spew fire at the offending speaker.
I don't know why, but they both make my fingers curl up into claws and the hair on the back of my neck stand on end.

This is a very Scottish one, but "messages" drives me mad.
For anyone not familiar with this, it's a word for shopping, usually food shopping. "Going to ASDA to get the messages". I don't even know why, it just irritates me.

I have a friend who drives me bonkers with "Wheeeeyyy!"
This is said every time something unfortunate happens to someone. It's even more infuriating when the misfortune is mine. For example, when my XH locked me in the house and went to work, and I panicked because I couldn't get to work (we were living abroad - no police or locksmiths on call.) I told this friend about that, and the panic attack induced from being pregnant and locked in an unbearably hot house and missing work. Her response: WHEEEYYYYY!!!! cry laugh emoji
That is just one of many, many instances of this. It genuinely makes me want to knock her out.

There's also one thing DD (4) does that makes me absolutely livid. I hate it beyond reason. I'll ask what she wants to eat/play/do/watch and if she's not sure, rather than just going "erm.." or "uhhh.." which would be bad enough, she says "I want.. nt... nt... nt" and carries on like that ad nauseam.

Dh falling asleep as soon as his head hits the pillow, whilst I toss and turn for hours - bloody insomnia.

Dh breathing on the back of my neck whilst I am trying (and failing) to get to sleep. I have no objections to him breathing - just don’t do it on the back of my neck. Or in my face, come to that.

The dogs waiting until I have vacuumed, and then deliberately shedding fur every-effing-where.

The dses stealing every pen or pencil I own, so I can never find one when I need it. I buy pink pens, in the hopes that they will not steal them, but I have clearly done too good a job of raising them to believe pink is just a colour and anyone can use it, and my pink pens vanish too.

My OH calling the windscreen a window screen and mushrooms musharooms!

Seems like men and their socks down the sofa are a recurring theme. I also have a DP who does this. People starting a sentence with 'so'. Saying them instead of those eg, "the apples are over there by them bananas"" Which bananas?" I say, "them banana" she says. "Oh, you mean THOSE bananas " I say. This makes me rage.
Also, people who drop litter, empty their car trash out of their door where they are parked, take up two spaces in a car park by bad parking,
Spit their chewing gum on the pavement, don't turn off lights when leaving a room, offer to wash up but always leave some thing in the bowl. Not rinse off the soap suds when washing up, leave shoes in the middle of the kitchen floor instead of by the rack or back door, putting sweaty socks if not down the sofa then on the kitchen work surfaces, ugh ugh. And vaping, don't get me started, hate the fake fruity flavours that stink out the house, at last it is getting warm enough to open the doors and windows.

Oh yes, and "literally"

And OP, I am intrigued, please ask the nice woman why she won't eat her bananas.

Another one - the Groupon advert that is sung to the tune of La Donna e Mobile x where the ‘singer’ gets faster and faster, so he is completely out of time with the accompaniment. He sounds like he is a trained singer - he can sing in tune, and has a nice tone, but why can’t he sing in time?

I know what I’d do with those bananas

Pens that don't work.

To puffycat, ha ha. Very good!

Sinkplunger, yes I'm with you with the baby on board car signs. I wonder how many people take these signs off when they are driving without the baby, they are meant to alert the rescue services in case of an accident, to look for a baby.

If I anyone tells me to calm down, or cheer up I will tell them they are a fuckity fuck fuckpuffin.

People who find that a pen doesn't work and then put it back in the box!!! WTF it doesn't work it is not going to magically start working again because it's with friends who might give it an ink transplant... Throw. it. in. the. fucking. bin!!!!

People who tell me they can't stand the word moist, knowing full well what sort of person I am, and then get huffy when I say moist repeatedly 🤣

People who ask for my opinion and then call me a nasty so and so because I gave it, but they didn't like it

People who have to make the same lame-arse joke everytime I say the word mushroom... Yes we know... "There ain't much-room in there"
Actually, any1 who tells the same lame joke to the same person more than once is just a knob and needs to learn that jokes do NOT improve with age!

1. ds1 wiping mouth after eating on his sleeve however many napkins I give him

2. losing socks in the washing machine so now I have to wear odd socks to work

3. crumbs on the kitchen floor so it then sticks to feet / socks and transported all around house

4. using the toilet to find Last person didn’t replace the roll

5. wet towels left on toilet by ds1

6. ds1 asking for a hot water bottle every bloody day saying he’s cold but won’t wear a full sleeve top or socks to bed

7. did I say crumbs? Hate the bloody things

8. empty cartons put back into the fridge/ cupboard

9. stepping on LEGO pieces every single day

Oh I could go on.....

SDTG Am with you on the 'partner that goes to bed, lies disown and falls straight to sleep' thing. Don't they have thinks?
And then, when you've been awake all night and they've been dead to the world next to you, they wake up in the morning and tell you how they 'tossed and turned all night'! Bollocks they did! Grrrr.

People who are walking in front of me and then stop

People who are driving in front of me, indicate to turn right and then at walking pace, turn right.

People who stand in front of a bench so no one else can sit on it - sit the fuck down or stand somewhere else

The person who parks their car slap bang in the middle of the lay-by outside our village shop every morning - meaning that no one else can park in it

DH tucks his feet in between the sofa cushions, then flicks his toes. OMG, I want to kill him

DD does the rug thing mentioned on page 1 - also makes me rage

This really is unreasonable, but I am really irritated by 'typical days' and written schedules which only exist in parenting website landalong the lines of:

"
6.30 Wake up
7.00 - Milk feed
7.30 -porridge, made with FM,served with fruit
9-10.30- nap
11- Brings Mummy a coffee and crumpets, buttered, for elevenses
....etc"

I am itching even from the above! I know that it is the most efficient way to convey such information but I feel like some people really like both typing and sharing such schedules on MN and FB? They also started appearing - solicited! -on my Mum WhatsApp Chat this week and I almost lost it.

That b pink advert flashing all the time on this page!!!!!!!!

Road liable to flooding. NO, the road is liable to flood, or prone to flooding. Or why not just put...Road might flood.

Someone mentioned the confusion of "his" Vs "he's" - as in, "spoke to Barry his going to be late"

I have to add people who don't know the difference between "wander" and "wonder" - so, "I went for a wonder around whilst I waited for Barry"
Also people who don't know the difference between "past" and "passed" e.g, "I walked passed Barry's house. He was outside and said his past he's driving test."
I should add these are all in written communication, from people in the UK, over 40, who most certainly learned this stuff at school. And before anyone says it, the people I know who are guilty of these crimes against language do not have dyslexia or other issues. They're just lazy.

When the communal microwave in the office is used and it's set to warm food for, let's say, 2 minutes. Oh, but half way through the process is interrupted, that's fine but then it's left without resetting with the remaining time shown on the little display. Sends me trough the roof!