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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to find 12 years too young for contraception.

115 replies

DropItLikeASquat · 16/04/2018 19:20

was on this morning but came up on my youtube feed.
Apparently its okay fr 12 year olds to be given the contraceptive implant.
WTAF!!!!!
AIBU or is this just disgusting.
IMO a 12 year old can't possibly make a real informed decision about this. Most 12 year olds wouldn't even pass being gillick competent.
and by law any child age 12 or under that is having sex, can't legally give consent regardless of the other persons age.
this would mean that anyone that have sexual intercourse with this girl is automatically guilty of rape as she legally can't give consent.
I don't understand how that child can't give consent to sexual intercourse but can give consent to have a contraceptive device fitted so they may partake in sexual intercourse.
were not taking about girls going on the pill to treat symptoms of periods etc this is to have an implant fitted.
Im shook that anyone would let a child have this device fitted.

OP posts:
Lollipop30 · 16/04/2018 20:48

I guess it depends on the circumstances.
I was on the pill at that age for heavy periods and it definitely made me more flippant about contraception. I was far too young having sex and the pill definitely introduced the thought and not the other way around (for me personally). My mother was incredibly naive and I know she’d die of shock if she knew what age I’d actually been.
My girls will be given a hot water bottle, ibuprofen and a lecture 😬

BuggerOffAndGoodDayToYou · 16/04/2018 20:55

Is it definitely for contraception? I went on the pill at 15 because of atrocious painful and irregular periods. I didn’t have sex until I was 18!

ModreB · 16/04/2018 20:58

I was on the pill at that age, due to very heavy periods. I started periods at 9yo.

I'm talking extreme flooding for 5 days, pads and super tampon every 2 hours, and a very short cycle. ie 12 days on, 7 days off. It never got better, and the Mirena is now my saviour.

I always wondered what happened to girls in the past who didn't have the option?

Flopsymopsycottontailbuns · 16/04/2018 21:00

Maybe (for heavy periods) so many pills have fallen out of favour it's a preferred option?

UnimaginativeUsername · 16/04/2018 21:09

I’d imagine that the implant or the injection is preferable for most girls with horrible periods these days. Much easier to manage than taking the pill every day. And I think the being progesterone only probably has some advantages over the combination pill I was prescribed.

I also agree with PP’s that, entirely pragmatically, it is better for teenage girls who are likely to be sexually active to be on a reliable form of contraception. That’s in no way to encourage them to have sex; it’s simply the realisation that it is best to prevent a pregnancy in a 12 year old wherever possible.

It’s always easy to sit there smugly saying ‘my child would never do X because I would prevent them from doing it’. But things are often not as simple in the real world.

Original poster
DropItLikeASquat · 16/04/2018 21:13

Hi, sorry been getting teething baby to sleep.
Im not talking about girls that have this for reasons other than contraception, I've stated that in the OP. I was on the pill at 13 to control my heavy periods and acne. This is about girls being able to make the choice to get an implant fitted as a contraceptive device (and without their parents knowledge too) so they can have sex.
Can a 12 year old really know what they are doing with regards to this. A 12 year old is deemed unable to give informed consent for sex, but is able for the contraception for them to have sex.
this is purely about the device being used for contraceptive reasons and not for medical reasons.

OP posts:
BarbarianMum · 16/04/2018 21:17

I don't buy this "can't stop a 12 year old having sex if they want to" crap. At 12 yes you bloody can. And no doctor should be giving the implant to a 12 year old without their parents' knowledge. Shock

PerfectlyDone · 16/04/2018 21:18

'Statutory rape' is an American offence and does not exist as a legal term in the UK.

Having said that, any girl accessing the implant for the purpose of contraception whole raise all sorts of alarm bells re safe guarding issues, irrespective of the age of her prospective sexual partner (if the boy in question is really young also, there'd be concerns about him also).

I don't trust the reporting on this 'story' at all - I've been a GP for 25 years, worked in family planning in deprived areas, have seen 13 year old girls becoming mothers and am in no way naive about what goes on in the real world. But that story?? Dubious as an out of date condom.

PerfectlyDone · 16/04/2018 21:19

this is purely about the device being used for contraceptive reasons and not for medical reasons.

Contraception IS a medical reason, surely?

Pinkvoid · 16/04/2018 21:21

A couple of my friends were on the pill at 12/13 because they had painful heavy periods. They didn’t have sex for another three or four years, it was purely to control their periods as I would imagine most contraception at that age would be. It’s also nice to know they are protected if and when they decide to have sex.

There was also a girl in my year who had a baby at 13. I know which reality I would prefer.

Original poster
DropItLikeASquat · 16/04/2018 21:23

many people on here have stated or asked (as if I'm think) if I realise that its not just for contraception.
YES I DO!
im not stupid, I stated clearly in the OP that I'm not talking about 12 year olds that use it for medicinal purposes, Im taking about a 12 year old girl being able to go to a contraception clinic and get the implant fitted so that they can have sex without getting pregnant.
I am well aware that 12 year olds do have sex and that some 12 year olds will be using hormone contraceptives for issues other than preventing pregnancy, but this is about the girls who are deemed unable to consent to sex being able to consent (without any knowledge or support from a parent) to having hormones in their body to stop them having a baby.
What about the psychological damage to this 12 year old, or the risk of STIs, or the fact that maybe, just maybe, they are just a 12 year old girl that is doing it to please her boyfriend when she is barely out of playing with dolls and being a CHILD!
It makes me feel physically sick.
those that support this, would you be happy to know that your 12 year old was able to go and get an implant (or maybe a coil) fitted without any knowledge of it yourself.
In a world where a child under 16 can't go into a chemist and buy medicine for a stomach ache, they are able to have a barrage of hormones shoved into their arm, or vagina so they can have sex with their boyfriend. (who may be 12, but may be 20?)
its morally wrong, and I know ill get slammed for having that opinion but, its just the way I feel.

OP posts:
flowerslemonade · 16/04/2018 21:24

One of my friends in high school has sex when she was 11, I wish I was joking or making this up but I'm not. I do think it's rare though, she was the only one (that I was aware of).

flowerslemonade · 16/04/2018 21:24

*had

Flopsymopsycottontailbuns · 16/04/2018 21:25

@DropItLikeASquat take your point and absolutely it is a massive safeguarding issue that raises many other questions.

UnimaginativeUsername · 16/04/2018 21:25

I would suspect that a GP would make a safeguarding referral for a 12 year old seeking contraception, and would want to discuss several things with the patient as well. They may also decide that the contraception is a good idea alongside other forms of intervention.

It’s unlikely to be the case that a 12 year old turned up and asked for the implant and the HCP treated it the same way they’d have done if a 35 year old had done the same.

Original poster
DropItLikeASquat · 16/04/2018 21:26

PerfectlyDone, what I mean by medical reason is for a reason other than contraception, like acne, heavy periods etc.

OP posts:
yellowmellw · 16/04/2018 21:27

No GPS won't make a safeguarding referral.

Look up - Gillick Principle

If a child is seen as Gillick competent then the doctor can prescribe hormone contraceptives without informing anyone about it

ZibbidooZibbidooZibbidoo · 16/04/2018 21:28

without any knowledge or support from a parent

You’re assuming all 12 year olds have involved, supportive, caring parents. Some of those 12 year olds are being raped by their father while their mother is flying high up the road with uncle john. Who might also pay a visit to young 12 year old as payment for mum’s gear.

stopfuckingshoutingatme · 16/04/2018 21:29

I can’t get my head around this
12 🤬
My 10 year old still plays Lego and wants cuddles and a bear

nooka · 16/04/2018 21:29

But how do you know the reason the implant is being fitted OP? My dd was recommended the implant to prevent recurrent ovarian cysts after trying the pill and it not working for her. The doctor thought that the lower does would have less side effects. There aren't actually that many options to manage some menstrual issues. Alternatively if a child has presented on several occasions for emergency contraception the healthcare provider may determine that a long term contraceptive is the best option for her. Consent for a medical intervention is a bit different to that for sex, the clinician should be able to provide information and talk to the child about the side effects etc and make sure she understands what she is consenting to. They won't give treatment if they believe the child will come to harm from it, and just because they provide an implant doesn't means that they can't also make referrals to social services if they think there is the possibility of abuse (in fact they are required to do so).

PerfectlyDone · 16/04/2018 21:32

Yes, I am well aware of Gillick and Fraser.

I often have conversations with 14 and 15 year old girls looking for contraception, but a 12 year old would cause me much more concern about the circumstances prompting that request.

I regularly speak to girls who are quite surprised then told that saying no to sex is an option open to them.
Or the girl (15) who when I asked her whether she had a boyfriend said 'no' but did say she was sexually active with a boy who she just 'shagged' but 'was not with' - terribly said situation of a young person living with v difficult social circumstances seeking and finding 'love' where she can find it. Would I want early unwanted motherhood for her on top of everything else in her life making it less likely for her to achieve her potential? No.

Op, I understand your moral outrage and disgust, really I do. But things are not as simple as 'it's disgusting to give young girls contraception'.

And sorry, but 12? It will trigger alarm bells.

PerfectlyDone · 16/04/2018 21:33

And what ZibbidooZibbidooZibbidoo said SadAngry

DioneTheDiabolist · 16/04/2018 21:34

It is disturbing and I hope that proper safeguarding guidelines are followed. But I would rather contraception than pregnancy.

windchimesabotage · 16/04/2018 21:38

Whats the alternative? That these 12 year olds are sent away from sexual health clinics being told they cant have the implant? Do you think that would actually be helpful? These medical staff have a duty to protect the health of the people who ask for assistance. If a 12 year old comes and asks for the contraceptive implant then you would give it because the alternative is that that child goes away and becomes pregnant. Of course you can try and talk to them and try and get them to engage with social services and try to encourage them to talk to their parents... but at the end of the day they may not be even giving their real name or engaging in that way at all... and you cant just let them walk out of there unprotected when they have told you they intend to have sex. And you cant change the laws over patient confidentiality because then you would put girls at risk who may have come for help but now wouldnt as they would not be able to receive it without giving their correct details/someone contacting their parents. You have to realise that not all young girls have families who are looking out for them or have their best interests at heart.
Clinics have to offer contraception to any girl who says she is sexually active in order to try and protect everyone as best they can.

Original poster
DropItLikeASquat · 16/04/2018 21:42

perfectlydone
I guess your last reply is mostly how I feel. Ive worked in paeds for 10 years and if I was a nurse in charge of this 12 year old I would immediately be doing a referral. It would set all my alarm bells off. I totally understand that some 14/15 year old girls can make informed consent to this device in particular and I would welcome this responsibility, its the fact that in this debate the girl as 12 and went to a sexual health clinic to have the device fitted on her own.
Of course a GP would make referrals for medical reasons such as acne/ debilitating periods/ hormones etc and I was 13 when I went on the pill for this reason.
I just cant fathom how 12 is in any way deemed an age that is appropriate for contraceptive reasons.
IYSWIM.

this may seem like an obvious thing to other people, in it being a good thing, it just really sparked emotion for me and made me really upset when I saw it.
I was thinking no, just no.
thanks for all your responses, its really helpful and interesting.

OP posts: