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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to find 12 years too young for contraception.

115 replies

DropItLikeASquat · 16/04/2018 19:20

was on this morning but came up on my youtube feed.
Apparently its okay fr 12 year olds to be given the contraceptive implant.
WTAF!!!!!
AIBU or is this just disgusting.
IMO a 12 year old can't possibly make a real informed decision about this. Most 12 year olds wouldn't even pass being gillick competent.
and by law any child age 12 or under that is having sex, can't legally give consent regardless of the other persons age.
this would mean that anyone that have sexual intercourse with this girl is automatically guilty of rape as she legally can't give consent.
I don't understand how that child can't give consent to sexual intercourse but can give consent to have a contraceptive device fitted so they may partake in sexual intercourse.
were not taking about girls going on the pill to treat symptoms of periods etc this is to have an implant fitted.
Im shook that anyone would let a child have this device fitted.

OP posts:

BasilTheCat · 16/04/2018 19:49

If she's genuinely going to be having sex there is no choice here - a 12 year old is better with an implant than a baby

callies · 16/04/2018 19:50

And what about STIs?

BoomBoomsCousin · 16/04/2018 19:51

I certainly agree a 12 year old shouldn't be having sex. However, if we are unable to stop them having sex for some reason, I would prefer they were protected from as much of the harm that sex can cause them as possible, contraception would definitely be a part of that harm reduction. In the meantime, I'd be trying to find out what bastards were having sex with a 12 year old.

But also, there are reasons for the implant other than contraception so simply not allowing 12 year olds to have the implant would be absolutely outrageous and pretty misogynistic.

Glumglowworm · 16/04/2018 19:52

I agree that 12 is too young to be having sex. But there will be a small percentage of 12 year olds who are having sex (I’ve known a few adults who lost their virginity at 12). And if 12 is too young to have sex it absolutely is too young to become parents.

So yes, if a 12 year old is going to have sex I support their healthcare provider to prescribe contraception.

Plus there will be 12 year old girls struggling with awful periods so contraception is prescribed to help control them rather than to prevent pregnancy

UnimaginativeUsername · 16/04/2018 19:53

I was on the pill at 13 for awful period pains. I wasn’t sexually actively until 17 though. There are several reasons that you might want to prescribe contraceptives that aren’t about avoiding pregnancy.

If I’d been offered an implant that could actually stop my periods entirely, I’m pretty sure I’d have gone for that. (I’ve got a mirena now and haven’t had a period in 8 years).

username182 · 16/04/2018 19:55

I've got the implant. Not mainly for contraception although it does give extra peace of mind on the very rare occasions I have sex. I use it to stop horrible debilitating hormone induced migraines every month. It works. No migraine no period wish I'd got it years ago

upsideup · 16/04/2018 20:00

If it was my daughter I would be for now preventing her from having sex rather than giving her contraception but not every one is in that position and its its a hell of a lot better than her getting pregnant at that age.
12 is too definately too young, she needs support but not support in having sex, 14/15 I can understand it though.
It might not even contraceptive reasons also.

Bluelonerose · 16/04/2018 20:01

Think idea of a 12 year old having sex is horrific but if that's what they are determined to do then surely some form of contraception is better than none.

Obviously if it's to help with periods etc that is different.

PEARSON93 · 16/04/2018 20:02

Contraception such as the implant and pill can be used to help those with sever period cramps/pain and heavy flow.

PrtScn · 16/04/2018 20:02

One of my cousins was having sex at 12 (with girls his own age). So it is possible, although statistically low.
More likely as others have said, due to bad periods.

Fiirefly · 16/04/2018 20:06

I was on contraception from about 12, purely because the doctor recommended it for my periods. I was in agony for 7 days every month. I wasn't sexually active. Could it be for something like that?

prh47bridge · 16/04/2018 20:10

Not statutory rape if the boy is also 12

Actually there is no such offence as statutory rape. It is rape of a child under 13.

And it would still be an offence if the boy is also 12. Both the boy and the girl would have committed an offence but the boy's offence would be more serious. However, under current Home Office guidance they would not be prosecuted provided both agreed to sex and they are of similar age.

SoftSheen · 16/04/2018 20:11

YANBU. 12 year olds should not ever be having sex, and if they are at risk of doing so, then the answer is greater supervision, not contraception. Particularly not hormonal contraception, which doesn't give any protection against HIV or other STDs, and is better suited to women in faithful long-term relationships.

ZibbidooZibbidooZibbidoo · 16/04/2018 20:15

Which is better OP? A 12 year old being pressured into sex and getting pregnant or a 12 year old being pressured into sex and not getting pregnant? Which will have a better outcome for that 12 year old? Because you can’t surely believe that refusing contraception will prevent 12 year olds having sex? Can you? I mean there are grown women on MN who still struggle to understand the concept of sex leading to babies.

JennyOnAPlate · 16/04/2018 20:19

You do know that contraception isn't just about preventing pregnancy?

I went on the pill at 14 due to horrendous periods. If the implant had been available back then I would absolutely have had it because it would have stopped my periods completely.

louharrisismyhero · 16/04/2018 20:20

OP you're being a bit short sighted. you might not be comfortable with the idea of 12 year old girls needing/wanting/consenting to an implant, but (fortunately) you don't get to make that judgement call.

you don't know why (it shows your level of ignorance if you think the only medical justification for hormone contraception is sex).

you don't know how (the girl in question could have had an unwanted pregnancy before, or trying to prevent one, in circumstances outside your experience - poor judgement in a relationship, alcohol, etc - and she's trying to be responsible).

you basically are viewing the situation through YOUR life lens.

butt out, is what i'd recommend.

Flopsymopsycottontailbuns · 16/04/2018 20:21

Given how neurotic the implant made me (and many others I was told by GP) I can't see this as a good thing for teenagers?
I know the pill can affect moods but this is something else...

UnimaginativeUsername · 16/04/2018 20:27

I’m sure that the doctor who prescribed the implant will have given it some careful thought. And will probably have advised about possible side effects.

Medication of any sort can have strange side effects for individuals. So the implant making one PP neurotic doesn’t mean it will affect the 12 year old the same way.

DS1 is allergic to malaria tablets (we discovered this as his face swelled up and he vomited after just having the tablet in his mouth and spitting it out); that doesn’t mean that other people are all that likely to react to them that way.

ReanimatedSGB · 16/04/2018 20:27

That's between the 12-year-old and her HCP. It's got fuck all to do with you, OP.

UrgentScurryfunge · 16/04/2018 20:27

I had to put up with 4.5 years of sporadic but agonising periods before I was finally put on the pill at 18. It was two years before I got any benefit from its contraceptive benefits!

12 year olds shouldn't require contraception for contraception's sake, but it is better to reduce the range of negative consequences to early sexual activity.

PumpkinPie2016 · 16/04/2018 20:33

Contraception can be used to help with bad periods as well as to prevent pregnancy though.

I want on the poll at 13 because my periods were horrendous to the point I was missing several days of school every month.

I wasn't sexually active until I was 18!

I do agree that no 12 year old should be having sex but sadly, some do and over the years there have been numerous girls having babies at 13. So, although 12 year olds shouldn't be having sex, in my mind, if they are absolutely determind to then it's better that they have contraception.

AnduinsGirl · 16/04/2018 20:35

I work in an area of extreme deprivation with an entrenched culture of older men grooming and exploiting young girls. One of my last year's year 6 pupils is one of these girls. She thinks she has boyfriends when of course they are anything but.
Personally I pray to God someone has helped her get on some form of long term contraception - but good to know you'd be disgusted if they had, OP.

Catspaws · 16/04/2018 20:38

If the question is 'is 12 too young to have sex' then I agree with you. It is too young and we should be trying to prevent this.

But... i am a pragmatist. if 12 year olds ARE having sex then they should definitely be using contraception and the implant is reliable and doesn't require them to be sensible in the moment.

We should do everything we can to educate and inform children and to steer them towards not having sex until they are old enough to give informed consent. But we should also be protecting the ones who, for whatever reason, are having sex already.

FASH84 · 16/04/2018 20:40

I've been on hormonal contraception since that age, for medical reasons not pregnancy prevention. But ultimately what's worse, if they are sexually active, contraception or preteen pregnancy?

Meopham · 16/04/2018 20:40

Not statutory rape if the boy is also 12.
That's what I was thinking. Surely if they are the same age, they are both as guilty as each other? And there is no such thing as statutory rape in the UK

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