Swimming instructor said my ds is ‘heavy’

[Stephthegreat]

My ds is nearly 4 and has been going to swimming classes at our local baths.ive been quite happy with the lessons so far but last night I was putting ds to bed and he mentioned that his swimming teacher to,d him he was heavy.

I didn’t think much of it but remembered he’d struggled getting back on to the side of the pool (he was wearing a noodle and this was why!). I said to him that I’d seen him struggling to get on to the poolside and ds then said ‘yes the swimming teacher said it was because I’m so heavy’.

My ds is average weight for his height and never sits still! It might be just me being overprotective and a bit sensitive but AIBU to think the swimming instructor shouldn’t be making out my child is fat?

He's 4, is it possible he misheard or misunderstood?

I’m tempted to tell the swimming instructor to start lifting a few weights if he thinks my ds is heavy! Swimming teacher clearly hasn’t lifted any real weights!

ITs possible he misunderstood,he’s a good talker and understands well for his age though.

Or the instructor had to help him out and said “oooh you’re heavy” because it was a difficult angle to lift at or whatever.

What a load of fuss about nothing. Heavy doesn't mean fat. It means heavy.

She might have meant it as a way of encouraging him to pull himself out the pool if she had to support him. We say to my daughter "you're getting too heavy to be carried now" she's not heavy she's just too heavy for us to be carrying her around and lifting her up out of a pool etc.

I think you are reading far to much into a second hand comment. Why would a swimming instructor tell a child of clearly normal weight that he was fat? (Obviously he shouldn't be telling any child that they are fat, even if they were ).

It feels like the most likely scenario is that the teacher made a throwaway comment relating to your child's ability to float, which has now been taken out of context. Similar to sinking like a stone? Or 'you must have heavy bones as you are finding it difficult to float'. Something along those lines.

Yes that’s possible you could be right right that I’m being sensitive over it

I think youre reading too much into it.

How much does your ds weigh?

Or the swimming instructor jokingly helped him out saying 'oh your so heavy'. I think your being oversensitive

What Unexpected said.But also you are the only one saying fat.

I have 3 dc who are heavy. None of them are fat. 2 of them are hyperactive. They are still heavy. It is a fact.

I’ve had a stressful week and thought i needed some voices of reason,I tend to catastrophise when I’m tired

You are ready far too much in to it. It is a perfectly normal thing to say. I am always surprised at the things people get worked up about on MN!

Either it was a jokey comment or he misunderstood. Instructor could have been trying to explain that you're heavier out of the water.
Or he is actually heavy. Average these days is probably overweight!

Everyone is heavy enough to sink. :) It takes some effort to stop our heaviness from sinking us. Applies to all.

Four year olds are heavy. Too heavy to be lifting for long periods?

You are being silly, people are heavy in water, that’s why you swim to stop you sinking or learn to float.

He probably meant it in a jokey - 'Oh you're heavy!' or did he say it in context of the float 'Oh it's heavy?' Keep an eye out for it and if it continues you have your answer, if it doesn't then it was just a passing comment and no need to worry.

What's wrong with heavy? DD is a skinny thing, she's still too heavy for me to lift.

I think you’re being over sensitive here.

My first thought would have been that the teacher was helping him to understand why he was struggling to get out of the pool. Telling him that he’s heavy so he needs to push really hard, etc. Or the PP’s suggestion that the teacher joked that he was heavy while helping him out of the pool.

It would not occur to me that heavy = fat in this instance.

Also 4 year olds can be good talkers, but that doesn’t make them reliable narrators.

I tell my 4 year old he is heavy all the time. He is 18kg. He is heavy to lift. He used to be underweight because of a medical problem. I LOVE that he is heavy and an average weight now. Heavy does not equal fat. And certainly is not a criticism of a young child in the same way it would be of an adult.

He probably had to help him out and said ‘Ooh, you’re heavy’ or something.
Like people do. I tell my 2yo that he’s a great big lump sometimes if he demands I carry him. Because he feels like a great big lump. Not because he’s fat or anything.

The fact you’ve reacted so strongly to a throwaway comment is odd though. Are you genuinely concerned he’s overweight? Or are you self conscious about your own weight and projecting? I’m very insecure about my own weight, but wouldn’t think twice about a comment like that about my dc’s. I know what they eat, do and look like and I know they are perfectly fit and healthy.

He’s about 17kg and 103cm tall

Oh for goodness sake! I put my baby down in the pram yesterday and said "I have to put you down because your heavy." get a grip.