Swimming instructor said my ds is ‘heavy’

[Stephthegreat]

My ds is nearly 4 and has been going to swimming classes at our local baths.ive been quite happy with the lessons so far but last night I was putting ds to bed and he mentioned that his swimming teacher to,d him he was heavy.

I didn’t think much of it but remembered he’d struggled getting back on to the side of the pool (he was wearing a noodle and this was why!). I said to him that I’d seen him struggling to get on to the poolside and ds then said ‘yes the swimming teacher said it was because I’m so heavy’.

My ds is average weight for his height and never sits still! It might be just me being overprotective and a bit sensitive but AIBU to think the swimming instructor shouldn’t be making out my child is fat?

Ds1 is made of freaking lead. He’s a lifeguard, not an ounce of flab on him, but every single person on his aquatics team know that in water terms, he really is heavy - as he says, he’s a sinker, not a floater - his body really is just more. Well. Dense. I think it’s pretty usual for swimming teachers to recognize that in the kids they teach.
In this instance though, I suspect it was just an ‘oof! You’re heavy’ as he was helping him out of the pool. Not a slight. Not a comment on his fat levels.
At the same age (actually, earlier) none of my friends would lift ds. It was common knowledge that he looked like a regular kid. But made of fecking lead. He’s as strong as an ox. And lean. But yup. He’s heavy.

I think you’re all right and yes I’m probably projecting.I used to have an eating disorder,I’m two stone overweight at the moment and worry about it.I never talk about diets or weight related things in front of ds though really because my mother was very obsessed and I remember how it affected me.

DD is really heavy. She just is. She also sinks in the pool. She isn't anywhere near overweight though. She's actually quite petite and dainty looking and I always laugh when people pick her up assuming she weighs nothing and then wince .

Rebel my ds is the same!he looks skinny but is hard to lift!hes quite muscly for a kid of his age!

I think I’m tired and stressed this week.Waiting for ds primary school application decision isn’t helping.

DH has low body fat & swims fine, but claims low body fat is why he cannot float. Fat floats nicely. Being 'heavy=fat' would help prevent sinking, actually.

So maybe she was actually saying "You're muscle bound with low body fat." It's as good as any other speculation.

So do you admit he's heavy?
I tell DD she is all the time,because she bloody is and I can't carry her/piggy back rides/lift her in my legs anymore. She's totally fine though weight wise.

As an aside,I'm very overweight and I can't really sink,my butt always floats to the surface. I love being in the water.

Hope you feel better soon Steph. It’s horrible doubting yourself when it comes to your kids

Most probably lijkk I’m reading too much into it I think.ds is pretty lean and toned

Hoping you get the school you want. I don't talk about weight or diet or fat in front of my kids either. Food is fuel. Similar issues.

Thanks butternut.I was bullied at school and I think sometimes I’m over vigilant on behalf of ds so I find it helpful to have second opinions.

Rebel I’m very much the same in the water and it’s my boobs AND bum that keep me afloat.Id love to have my boobs reduced but they are great life saving devices!

Heavy doesn't mean fat - only grown-ups, talking to other grown-ups, would make that association.

Dd is heavy - and strong. Always has been. Sounds like your ds is the same.

Thanks Wolfe,I’m a nervous wreck over ds Primary school place.we have a very small village school which is massively oversubscribed so I’m keeping my fingers crossed.

I remember that feeling. DS didn't get his first secondary choice. Actually school he ended up in has worked out a better fit. Fingers crossed though.

Lottie I think you’re right.My friends twin ds are quite skinny and light,my ds looks skinny but is very muscly.Hes also tall,probably be a strapping lad in a few years!

My DS2 has always been deceptively heavy for his build. It was commented on a lot and there was always extra checking by health visitor as no-one could ever believe what the scales said. We think he has iron bars for bones. He did put on a bit of fat at age 14/15 but has lost it all again but still sits at the top end of healthy even at 6'2 with a 34 inch waist. DS1 is an inch taller with the same waist size and is a stone lighter.

Maybe your DS feels heavier than he looks?

Thanks Wolfie,glad your things have worked out well for your ds.Dh has been avoiding me today because I’m so stressed about the whole school situation!

The fact that you even know how much he weighs make me think you're projecting. I get it but you need to move on!

Wax yes he does feel heavier than he looks.Hes only young so I think most children have a bit of a tum but at 17kg he’s in the middle range of healthy.

Spare I weighed him because of his car seat because I’ve changed it.i don’t obsessively weigh him!

I checked DD's height to see if we could ditch the booster recently. Not something I would normally bother with!

I’m tempted to tell the swimming instructor to start lifting a few weights if he thinks my ds is heavy! Swimming teacher clearly hasn’t lifted any real weights!

Why have people ignored this comment? makes you sound awful OP. Thats a horrid message to give your son, that he has to be really muscular and lift loads of weight and that looking skinny is a bad thing.

@sparepantsandtoothbrush that's bollocks. I always know averagely how much DD weighs and I have no worries about her weight.

Upside up I was joking

upside I think you've misunderstood the intent there. OP means 'if the instructor finds ds heavy... they can't be used to lifting weights'. Not 'they look like they don't lift weights'.