Swimming instructor said my ds is ‘heavy’

[Stephthegreat]

My ds is nearly 4 and has been going to swimming classes at our local baths.ive been quite happy with the lessons so far but last night I was putting ds to bed and he mentioned that his swimming teacher to,d him he was heavy.

I didn’t think much of it but remembered he’d struggled getting back on to the side of the pool (he was wearing a noodle and this was why!). I said to him that I’d seen him struggling to get on to the poolside and ds then said ‘yes the swimming teacher said it was because I’m so heavy’.

My ds is average weight for his height and never sits still! It might be just me being overprotective and a bit sensitive but AIBU to think the swimming instructor shouldn’t be making out my child is fat?

Swimming instructor is a bit of a hottie tbh but don’t tell my dh I said that 😀

Mamaryllis and RebelRogue that is so good to read. Mamaryllis You could be describing all my dcs (also lifeguards) also stun people how heavy they are if anyone ever has cause to lift any of them for any reason
However, they are all excellent swimmers and lifeguards, so I don't think there is any correlation between being heavy and not being able to swim.

Backforgood that’s great to hear,it sounds like they are very athletic

DS's swimming teacher says that he tends to sink rather than float. His bmi is bang on average, it is just how he is in the water. I would brush it off with ds and not worry about it. You know he is a normal weight so the teacher probably either meant something else - i.e. he isn't very buoyant or it felt heavy pulling out of the water etc. Good luck with school allocation.

Thank you I’m really hoping we get into our village school

My dd was much heavier than she looked when she was small. When I'd go to lift up any of her friends they'd go flying into the air because I found them surprisingly light.

Your boy isn't heavy (according to the BMI indicator).

"I think you’re all right and yes I’m probably projecting.I used to have an eating disorder..."

I;ve got an eating disorder but I would say you are not projecting at all. Your son said it and you want to know if the swim instructor really said it. If the swim instructor did say it, correct them, my boys BMI is XYZ. If he did not say it, say to your boy, "You misheard the instructor didn't say you were heavy."

@upsideup "Why have people ignored this comment? makes you sound awful OP. Thats a horrid message to give your son, that he has to be really muscular and lift loads of weight and that looking skinny is a bad thing." No, that is not what I took from the comment, what I took from the comment is that the OP knows her son is not heavy and thinks the instructor should lift some weights to know how heavy they are and not imply her son is heavy.

The horrid message is to imply a healthy weight child is heavy to his face.

That was me, too Coyoacan

💐 I hope you get the school you want & that life stops being quite so stressful!

My friends DD is 4, she’s petite, but fuck me...she’s made of pure lead. Some kids just are HEAVY, not fat, just made of lead! So if he is heavy, it will make getting out on the side of the pool more difficult and it’s unsurprising a swimming instructor commented. There’s no value judgement in it.

Look after yourself 💐

I think you’re all right and yes I’m probably projecting.I used to have an eating disorder,I’m two stone overweight at the moment and worry about it.I never talk about diets or weight related things in front of ds though really because my mother was very obsessed and I remember how it affected me.

You’re projecting. You know you’re projecting. Get help so you can learn how to spot your insecurities before needing to post about it on the internet.

Thanks Annie! I felt sorry for poor ds because it was the bulky noodle round his waist that stopped him from getting up on the side.Hes not used to using a noodle,I think it might take a bit of practice.

Caulk I said I was tired,stressed and yes possibly projecting.We are all human and I really don’t think anyone has the right to tell someone else not to post on here.

Caulk quite a mean post, I think. This whole site is for people posting their concerns on the internet, big or small.

(you are not projecting if the instructor really did say that)

Italian - thank you yes I agree 💐

Italian - I think the instructor did say it but it would be impossible to know how it was meant.

@Stephthegreat I guess there are two meanings to it, you are heavy (for a child your age) or you are heavy (and I am having trouble holding you up in the water).

I guess I'd let it go and explain to your son he is not heavy for his age but all kids are heavy! My ds is as skinny as a rake but I cannot hold him up!

I think when you have had or have an eating disorder you are just very intune to this things. So I guess it could be projecting a meaning on to what is said! But I think the fact you are thinking about it and not storming in telling him off shows you are very calm.

Good luck and hope you get into the school you want.

oooohhhhhhhhhhh god yes, when some things get out of proportion because, well just because sometimes.

been there done that. Never mind Op, It will feel better in a day or two when other things improve.

One of my DS's has a rare form of dwarfism. He doesn't look overly obvious but when it comes to swimming he has far more muscle density and very little body fat. So being able to float is a big problem for him. He can swim if he uses other floatation aids.

My 4 year old is 15.5kg and I tell her she’s heavy all the time! She is heavy! Wouldn’t want to carry 15kg around for too long.