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Original poster

Im too stupid to ever earn more than the minimum wage

86 replies

Uncertainsausages · 15/04/2018 21:33

Panicking just a little. Job searching and I can't even understand half the job titles out there. Everything needs skills I don't have!

I don't even have a driving license, let alone experience in different computer programmes.

On good days I don't feel particularly stupid, but let me tell you job searching makes me feel spectacularly worthless. I will never be able to earn enough to support myself without government assistance in the form of benefit top ups. Top ups which I don't feel confident will be around many more years.

I have tried to do night classes to upskill and am rubbish - I just think I can't learn. My brain sort of freezes in panic, then I make stupid mistake after stupid mistake, until I'm nearly crying and just want to run away.

That has to be the definition of stupid, right?

Feel really down today.

OP posts:
Original poster
Uncertainsausages · 15/04/2018 21:34

Sorry I meant to say I good days I wonder if it's a form of anxiety, but honestly don't know where the anxiety stops and the stupid begins.

OP posts:
lattewith3shotsplease · 15/04/2018 21:35

OP,
No, you're not stupid...........be kind to yourself Flowers

JamPasty · 15/04/2018 21:36

Hugs. You have to remember that job descriptions are written by people who may not know what the job involves and thus are poorly explaining something they don't understand either (more common that you'd think), and/or are written trying to get one person to do a job that is clearly three professions rolled into one! I've seen a job description of my own job that I neither recognised nor understood what on earth it was asking for, and that's my own job that's I'm pretty good at!

Cleo2628 · 15/04/2018 21:36

You are not stupid Flowers I have never earned more than minimum wage either! Everyone has skill, you will just build on them. Once you find a job you like you will Work your way up and learn more & more by working! You will be fine Smile

theeyeofthestormchaser · 15/04/2018 21:37

Bless you. You don’t sound stupid at all in your posts. You sound articulate.

What exam results did you get at school? What jobs have you had?

What are you good at/enjoy doing?

DairyisClosed · 15/04/2018 21:39

Have you sought help for your anxiety? Obviously some people are just stupid but that is rare. I think that it is more likely that you are anxious and not coping. And half of us don't understand the totally made up job titles that some companies use.

IWannaSeeHowItEnds · 15/04/2018 21:39

You come across as articulate and intelligent to me, but lacking on confidence, which is making you panic.

There is nothing wrong with being on a min wage job - the country needs people who work in shops and care homes etc as much as it does doctors and bankers. High wage doesn't equal better!

That you need state top ups is the fault of the govt, who are willing yo use public funds to top up the wage bills of private companies, rather than insist they pay a fair wage. It is no reflection on you Flowers

SilverHairedCat · 15/04/2018 21:39

You write like someone who is articulate. What kind of work have you done before? What do you want to do next?

Alienspaceship · 15/04/2018 21:41

You are not stupid. I looked at my own job description the other day, and bearing I’m mind ido my job well, and thought blimey, I couldn’t do that Grinits just the way they’re written. Don’t give up, you’ll be fine Smile

PasstheStarmix · 15/04/2018 21:41

What you describe is more common than you think for a lot of people (I think a lot just don’t have the guts to admit it). Your honesty is admirable. You definitely aren’t stupid. I think most job adverts can make jobs sounds alot more complicated than they actually are and the employees certainly like to ‘big’ themselves up! Don’t let them put you off as I find doing the job is nothing like the initial application. I think I’d have put myself off loads of roles if I’d went purely on the candidate specifications and role information. Good luck and you can do it! Don’t put yourself down Flowers

Original poster
Uncertainsausages · 15/04/2018 21:43

I was good at school, all apart from maths!

But I actually think my downfall is I am able to sound reasonably bright, while having acres of empty space between the ears. I'm a fraud. I can talk the talk but honestly can't walk the walk.

My brain 100% refuses to cooperate when I don't understand something. People then get irritated with me because they believe I'm not trying - I am trying, but can't through a lack of ability.

However I'm so anxious about being crap at learning new things now, I feel that hampers any ability to learn at all.

It's a vicious cycle.

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Original poster
Uncertainsausages · 15/04/2018 21:44

Grin at all the people who don't recognise their own roles from job descriptions, that's giving me a much needed giggle!

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grasspigeons · 15/04/2018 21:46

some job descriptions are bonkers and have no relation to the actual job at all. They re-did the job description for my job and I thought there is no way I could do that.

If you find a minimum wage job in something you are confident at, you might find it leads on to other things. Are you a people person, a plant person or an animal person, or do you like numbers or enjoy physical stuff, or filing, or cleaning. In terms of skills turning up, looking presentable and following instructions and showing initiative will get you a long way.

A lot of essential and interesting jobs are minimum wage so you may end up minimum wage for quite a while - but that's still a success to get a stable minimum wage job in an area you like and then go from there.

Fruitcorner123 · 15/04/2018 21:48

Not all jobs require that type of intelligence though. Have you thought of a career involving a skill? Is there something you are good at or interested in? Plumbers can earn a very good wage for example. I have no idea what the training involves and imagine it's quite tough but it's not academic as such. There are plenty lf other well paid jobs tht fall into the same sort of category.

How old are you and what are your skills and interests?

Bluesrunthegame · 15/04/2018 21:49

I think I feel like this! I've decided to watch youtube videos of the skills I need to learn at home, and when the horrible anxious can't breathe feeling comes up, to just stop for a moment, do the whole 'allow the feeling then let it go' thing. If I'm panicking at home, no one can see me, is my thought.

I was also wondering if I've got some resistance to learning. People think I'm bright, but I'm really not.

Neves7 · 15/04/2018 21:49

I suggest you google “imposter syndrome” - some of us are particularly prone to it but I think it happens to everyone at some point. You might also want to talk to your doctor about anxiety

Original poster
Uncertainsausages · 15/04/2018 21:54

I'm in my thirties. I spent a lot of the past decade ill, then was able to access a new treatment which made a huge difference to my health. So have a lot to be thankful for in many ways!

Would like to crack the job problem now, though. I have worked on and off all along, but never made a success of anything.

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InspMorse · 15/04/2018 21:54

The lowest paid jobs in the U.K. Include:
Nursing assistants
Waiters
Checkout assistants
Catering assistants
Bar workers

OP, I have a degree & a post-graduate qualification. I doubt very muc I could do any of the above we'll because I have neither the skills or the stamina.

You are far from stupid. Anyone who thinks that the amount of money you earn defines you needs their head testing. Intelligence isn't all about qualifications/earning power.

I have met many professionals in my time. Believe me, amongst them are the biggest fk-wits known to man.

flowerslemonade · 15/04/2018 21:57

A lot of people are fluffing it/bluffing thru their jobs. One of my friends lied and said she had an engineering degree (!!!) and got a job. She told me she had to google everything (which was slightly worrying).

Original poster
Uncertainsausages · 15/04/2018 21:57

I've read about imposter syndrome but that's something that happens to capable people holding down a good job. That's not me. I can't manage to hold down a good job.

I have seen many doctors for my anxiety. There really is a limit to what they can do. I control it mostly with exercise, but think maybe some cbt would help with this specific issue. Although - I don't know. I really believe I am stupid and don't feel like a therapist could change that?

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InspMorse · 15/04/2018 21:58

You see, I can't even type properly on my phone! Notice all my typos?!!

SilverHairedCat · 15/04/2018 21:58

Another vote for imposter syndrome.

I have a degree, I'm on my 2nd career where they trained me to Masters level, and believe me I feel like I'm stupid a lot of the time. I'm also known for being too literal in my understanding, such as the day my DH told me he'd bought formaldehyde, which really confused me and it took me a minute or so of bemused questioning to discover it was an album name....

SilverHairedCat · 15/04/2018 22:00

Listen to the way you talk about your self. Read it again and imagine you were telling a friend or acquaintance about themselves - telling them they are too stupid to learn or hold down a job, that they aren't capable or bright enough... Would you say that to anyone? Would you believe it of anyone?

I very much doubt it.

So why do you say it to yourself?

Original poster
Uncertainsausages · 15/04/2018 22:01

Agree that plenty of minimum wage jobs are extremely valuable to society but the problem is - you can't live on them as your sole income. Not long term. As soon as a washing machine breaks, you're in serious trouble, if you have no spare money to fall back on. I don't see how it's possible to save anything spare out of the minimum wage?

I wish we paid all people properly, enough to meet all our basic needs.

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Original poster
Uncertainsausages · 15/04/2018 22:05

I talk about myself this way because I have lived experience of all my failures. I wish my experience was different, but it's not. Hard evidence clearly says, I'm not good enough.

That's a problem, because it is really bad for self esteem. I need to fix it but it's very hard to fix when the reality is, I'm awful at everything! It would be deluded to try to affirm that I'm smart and capable when i have nothing to evidence that Sad

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