To not allow this and think it's fucking cheeky to keep asking?

[idobelieveinfairies86]

Sorry its a long one.
My neighbours dd is down for the week to have contact with her dad. His dd is 12 yo.
Today I recieved a knock at the door and it was my neighbour asking if my dd (who is 4.5 and has special needs) wants to come play. I said no as mainly my dd has played up rotten all day and I'd already told her we weren't going out to play (were supposed to go to the park). Apart from this, she has a very high need of supervision and from what I've seen the dd and 2 other girls in the street who were over, they are running about, in and out of the front garden and across the road and back (generally just mucking about) and my dd would not be able to keep up with them and I was seriously worried she would get hurt or fall from running around (she's physically disabled), possibly in the road. I was unable to go with her myself as I've been v busy all day getting on top of things.

Anyway, about 20 mins later the other 2 girls knock and say "can't she come and play", I again said no and gave the main reason of her playing up.
In the following 30 mins I then had my neighbours girlfriend knock followed by the visiting 12yo knocking all asking the same question and then trying to guilt trip me by saying "why can't dd come and play, its not often we get nice weather" and "oh but I don't get to come down very often, pleeasseee?"
What's pissed me off the most is that every one of these repeated requests were done in front of my dd and I then had to listen to constant "why mummy, please, why, why why"
Also, I'm not quite sure why three 12 yos would want to play with a 4.5 yo who is on the 18mo-2yr level?

Was I bu in refusing and then getting pissed off with the constant requests? To me you ask your question, get your answer and that's the end of it but I'm starting to think maybe I was being rude.

Again sorry for the long post
x

I'd find that annoying, and given the age difference, pretty weird.

I’d be pissed off too OP. Speak to your neighbour to say it’s nice that his DD wants to play with your DD but if you say she’s not going out then she should not continue to knock

I'd be telling tv dad & his gf that if you say no once to instruct them not to knock again & respect that you have your reasons. Yanbu

That's annoying but they might just live her and think she's really sweet and want to play with her. I always loved playing with littles when I was younger. I'm sure they wouldn't be rough with her. X

Why did you keep answering?

love

Utterly bizarre. I can't even get my head around this scenario.

I suspect the 12 year old girls just want a “baby” to play with. Like a living doll.
The father and girlfriend have a bloody nerve though and should have told them to stop in no uncertain terms.

No you weren't unreasonable. Are you actually saying that the stepmother( (neighbours girlfriend) called round? A 12 yr old should know better and an adult definitely should. I wouldn't have answered the door after then first time or if answering it I would have been quite firm. If this happens again just end the conversation with
"Please don't call again"

What was there problem!!. I would have been majorly pissed off if they had kept knocking .... NO means NO - bloody idiots.

At the second asking I'd have said "no, and do not ask again!"

There was one local girl who always wanted to play with my oldest when she was about two, but generally did so on our sitting room. She was really good with her, and has gone on to be a nursery nurse. So I don’t think it’s odd, but not taking no for an answer is too much.

Very strange.
Definitely one 'no not today' should be enough.
Also bit about the age gap. Your daughter is not a play thing and it sounds a bit odd that 3 12 year olds had not just moved on to doing something else.

Do you think the asking was instigated by the parents?
Do they think your LO is not out enough?
Very odd behaviour on all their parts

I'd have been very pissed off

Perhaps they enjoy your dds company and just thought you were not allowing her out because she had played up, so were hoping to change your mind. But you are not bu to get annoyed by them keep asking. My 12 and 13 year old dds play out with a few other children in our street ranging from 4 -12 and they all get on great. Sometimes age doesn't much matter when they are just being kids. I think it's quite nice they thought of your dd and obviously wanted her included.

Well I think it’s lovely that they asked once - my DD who is 11 plays with kids of a range of ages in the road and loves being the grown up with little ones - but to knock repeatedly shows a total lack of respect for your ruling as a parent and for their SM to knock too - WTF? Might be worth a nice firm but tactful chat about this - if they want to play with your DD occasionally that is great and it will probably benefit everybody but they really do need to listen to what you say.

3 and a half?! No, I wouldn't have wanted mine playing out in the streets with 12 year olds at that age either, far too young!
As for the persistent knocking and the guilt tripping,that would have really annoyed me.
No means no!

YANBU. I wouldn't let my child play out at 4. I'd have lost patience with this OP.

It does seem a bit odd, but I think maybe a good idea if it happens again is to offer to let them come in and play with her under your supervision, perhaps some other time if not convenient to you so you can check that they are just happy and, tbh, safe to play with her. Or you could even approach neighbour and say 'The kids wanted to play with DD, which was lovely but it wasn't a good time time. Let me know when your daughter is next over and they can come and play at our house, given she needs to be supervised closely'.

If your DD was going to be allowed to play with the older children it should only happen under YOUR supervision. YANBU.

No YWNBU.
To be honest, even if your DD didn't have SN, I still wouldn't have wanted her to go out to play with girls so much older than her, what on earth did they want with her? To play with her like she was a doll? Just bizarre!

Did they want to go into your garden maybe?

I am sorry but I think it is mega weird
My girls are 3 and girls bigger steer about 7 do t want to play with them so I would be suspicious

Disney dad? I guess his daughter kept whining about it, so they kept asking. I'd have given the girlfriend short shrift and told them not to knock again.