...to think that I'm ok to tell people at 11 weeks?

[PolkaDotBlues]

Sorry folks, second post of the day. Having a slightly stressful one!

I'm 11 weeks pregnant. Had an early scan for medical reasons which I shan't go in to. Baby was fine at 10+5 and I'd like to tell my colleagues that I'm pregnant. It's getting hard to hide and I would like to be able to vomit in the loos without people speculating!

Am I mad to tell people before my 12 week scan (which isn't for just under 3 weeks)? If baby was high risk for downs we would still continue the pregnancy however I understand they look for other defects too...

Not too sure what to do here but my gut is telling me to spill as it would reduce my anxiety hugely.

Honest opinions?

I wholeheartedly disagree with 'wait until the 12 week mark' unless the couple wants to.

It doesn't make sense to me. If you sadly miscarry, but no one knew you were pregnant - what then? Do you tell people then, or mourn and be upset alone while acting normally for other people?

Every couple should do whatever they want, and if waiting works for you, you should. But I wish we would examine our own feelings and reasons for waiting as opposed to that just being the done thing.

I miscarried at 8 weeks, I'd told work a few weeks before, because it limited my job role slightly. But I'm glad I did, as I had a few days off work to deal with it, and had colleagues be respectful and understanding when I struggled with a pregnancy case a few weeks later (I work in the NHS).

Congratulations Do what works for you!

Somebody has recently told us they are four weeks pregnant, are home tests that sensitive nowadays ? they have form for exaggerating

We only told the people we had to (I had to tell my boss for work reasons at about 8 weeks) and the people we would tell if things didn't work out (close family and best friends)

I do feel that the waiting until 12 weeks makes it difficult to talk about if you do have a miscarriage. Somehow makes it a bit taboo and shameful and also means people may say things which are hurtful to you because they don't know what you have suffered.

Never understood it really

Dayinthelifeof - 4 weeks is when your period is due and all pregnancy tests are sensitive enough to detect at this time. Some 'early' tests can detect pregnancy before your period is even due.

Our news came out at about 7 weeks (after years of TTC, DH was too excited!). I mc'd on the day of my 12 week scan. Actually I'm glad we'd told people as everyone was so lovely and it meant I didn't have to hide away my grief. I'm sure you'll be fine

The risk of miscarriage isn't any lower at 12 weeks than it is at 10. If you've had a scan or heard heartbeat after 10 weeks I'd tell. I did wait until 10 because I was worried about missed miscarriage, which can of course happen later too but it seemed from what I read that the majority happened before 10 weeks.

I'm pretty sure HPTs have been able to pick up a 4 week pregnancy since the 80s!

BertieBotts The risk of miscarriage isn't any lower at 12 weeks than it is at 10.

Yes it is, because it is a cumulative risk. Say the risk of miscarriage at 10 weeks is approx. 2%, and this is also the risk of miscarriage at 11 weeks or 12 weeks. So if you're 10 weeks pregnant at the moment, your total risk of miscarrying in the next three weeks is 6%, but if you're 12 weeks pregnant then you've successfully got through two of those weeks so there's only a 2% chance left iyswim. Then after 13 weeks the risk decreases significantly.

I'm 6 weeks pregnant. So far I've told my mum (who told my stepdad) and 2 very close friends. Oh and hubby obviously. The way I have been feeling this week at work I'll be telling my boss next week. I've felt sick the whole time and like I could sleep until summer!
With my first pregnancy I told the boss around the 7 week mark. The type of job I do involves handling chemicals which I will be banned from as soon as I tell work for safety. The sooner the better really! I will probably then tell my immediate colleagues a few days after the boss but everyone else can wait til after the dating scan.

I'm on my 13th week, and my first scan & NIPT test is this week.
I have only told my sister (and DP of course!).
I am waiting until I have had my NIPT results and know everything is OK before I tell anyone else.
Then we will tell my parents, DPs parents, and other close family and friends. I will tell my boss after this, but I won't be broadcasting it to any of my work colleagues, not unless they ask.

I told a few people at work very early as I had to avoid contact with a child with immunisation preventable illness. I'm glad that a few people at work know as I've been feeling really ill and the occasional bit of sympathy really helps. I also think that if I had a miscarriage then they would be supportive and I would need that understanding. I didn't announce it though as to have everybody talking about it openly would have been too much. I've told a few different people but each of them thinks it's their secret! Is that naughty?

I also told a few friends very early because I was so excited and I wanted to share it with them. I know that of something bad were to happen that their support would be helpful but they'd also leave me alone if I wanted.

I couldn't tell my parents this early because I know that if anything went wrong, my mum would be so upset it would just make me feel worse, and I might even end up having to comfort her. Even if nothing went wrong I know she would worry continuously, more than I would! That's just her nature. But at the same time, they have to be the first to know "officially" really, so that means I can't "announce" until I'm ready to tell them.

I think it depends completely on yourself and the people around you as individuals and trying to imagine the pros and cons of telling in different scenarios. You shouldn't feel there is a "wrong" time to tell or that whatever decision you make is "foolish". It's completely down to you and different for everyone.

I miscarried my first and it was horrible to tell everyone but for me it was worse to keep quiet with my second and stew in anxiety for 12-16 weeks.

I would tell friends that i was happy to tell i had miscarried, if i am lucky enough to have a 2nd baby.