...to think that I'm ok to tell people at 11 weeks?

[PolkaDotBlues]

Sorry folks, second post of the day. Having a slightly stressful one!

I'm 11 weeks pregnant. Had an early scan for medical reasons which I shan't go in to. Baby was fine at 10+5 and I'd like to tell my colleagues that I'm pregnant. It's getting hard to hide and I would like to be able to vomit in the loos without people speculating!

Am I mad to tell people before my 12 week scan (which isn't for just under 3 weeks)? If baby was high risk for downs we would still continue the pregnancy however I understand they look for other defects too...

Not too sure what to do here but my gut is telling me to spill as it would reduce my anxiety hugely.

Honest opinions?

Firstly congratulations!

Sorry to be negative but I thought the same. I had a scan at 9 weeks and everything was fine saw the heartbeat etc so I was also under the impression that risks had dropped.

Unfortunately a few days before my 12 week scan I had some spotting and had an early scan to be told my baby had died 5 days after my previous scan at 9 weeks.
I don't mean to worry you but Its good to make an informed decision.
My advise would be to tell people that you would wish to have around you as support, in all honestly I wish more people knew IRL so I had more support around me xx

Because you want the baby so much and it's out of your control. I was exactly the same! Non alcoholic

polka

I was pretty young wen I had all my babies so you think you are invincible. Not like that now good luck

Throw thinking of you love and I hope things are getting straighter for you xx

Thanks @SaucyJane 

@Throwaway4misc so sorry this happened to you. I'm only 27 and have suffered from miscarriages in the last 5 years. I think this is why my anxiety is through the roof. It's such a sad thing. I wish it wasn't such a taboo subject to talk about as it is so incredibly common...

One thing I keep doing is remembering that every person I see is the result of a successful pregnancy. MCs are of course very common, but lots and lots of people give birth to babies and that's what I keep telling myself. I'm also trying to tell myself to be grateful for every day that I am pregnant, rather than worrying about what could be.

Same as throwaway4misc I had an early scan with everything ok then at the 12 week scan had heartbreaking news. I would wait until that scan if it was me tbh

Thank you @Mydoghatesthebath ! I did feel invincible until ms kicked in and now I feel like a pathetic mess who lives in the toilet bowl!

So sorry @Alwayslumpyporridge I've had mcs but always at 6 weeks before any scans. I hope you're doing much better now.

Congratulations. I’d say if you’ve had a scan and all find you should be ok to tell people. I had my scan early at 11 weeks as my dates were a bit off and I told people after that. Hope you have a happy and healthy pregnancy

Thanks @0lgaDaPolga - had you had a nuchal translucency scan?

The sickness that started the day I tested was bad enough that my manager had guessed by the time I was 5 weeks pregnant, I'd told everyone else before 12 weeks. There was no way to hide it really as I had horrendous sickness and after three people had been told I gave up on keeping it a secret - small and supportive workplace though.

@mirime this is what I fear! I work in an office of 30 but a building of about 300. People know people and I can imagine if I told one person the whole world would know!

No, I was booked in for the nuchal scan as they thought I was 12.5 weeks but the baby was only 11 weeks so too small to do it (I ovulated late so dates were wrong) they just told me all was fine and to come back in a week

@0lgaDaPolga that's great that everything was fine. Im so nearly 11 weeks and don't even have a date for my 12 week scan yet!

You cant have the nuchal fold test after 13+6 so if your scan is after that it'll just be a dating scan.
Anomaly scan is at 20 weeks.

@Yorkshirepudding1987 hopefully the person booking my scan will have some common sense and book me in before 13+6! I have been worried I won't get the appointment on time. My midwife has been a shambles so far so not too sure what to expect....

Mine didn't. 14+2 And they refused to change it for the test!

@Yorkshirepudding1987 really? How frustrating for you! I shall be calling them first thing tomorrow to see what they're doing!

Yep! It was a complete shambles from start to finish. Baby is fit and healthy crawling round now though. Hope your pregnancy goes well.

Thanks @Yorkshirepudding1987 and many congratulations

With my first, I told my manager at around 10 weeks only to find at the 12 week scan I'd had a missed miscarriage.

I was so glad she knew! She was wonderfully supportive, and when I fell pregnant with DS1, she just wrapped me in cotton wool. She was so kind. So, there's a positive to telling people, even if it's bad news. Weigh it in your own mind. Hopefully, you will just have a healthy pregnancy anyway.

I miscarried at 13 weeks. I didn't tell anyone I was pregnant and found out at my scan. I was distraught and I had to tell people that I was pregnant, but the baby had died and I was waiting to miscarry. I needed just over a week off work. I had to tell my parents and ils because it was two days before Christmas and I needed them to understand why I was not myself. I wish I'd told family and colleagues earlier, telling them after was horrific. I needed support. I hope you have a happy, healthy pregnancy, but honestly, tell people if that is what you want to do. Think about what the support you'd need if something bad happened. You can't jinx a healthy pregnancy by telling people. Good luck and congratulations!

I told people earlier than 12 weeks. My rule was, if I'd tell them if something went wrong, then it doesn't make any difference telling people early. Nothing went wrong and I have 2 children. It's whatever you're comfortable with.

Sorry to hear about your miscarriage Lokibear,I completely agree with you about telling people for support. I was high risk which was another reason why I told early.

@Raines100 @LokiBear so sorry both. It's a really horrible experience that I know all too well.

I don't think I will ever feel comfortable with telling people as I'm so anxious about things going wrong but might be better to get it over with sooner rather than later so at least my colleagues know why I'm puking my guys up!