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Original poster

...to think that I'm ok to tell people at 11 weeks?

89 replies

PolkaDotBlues · 15/04/2018 17:05

Sorry folks, second post of the day. Having a slightly stressful one!

I'm 11 weeks pregnant. Had an early scan for medical reasons which I shan't go in to. Baby was fine at 10+5 and I'd like to tell my colleagues that I'm pregnant. It's getting hard to hide and I would like to be able to vomit in the loos without people speculating!

Am I mad to tell people before my 12 week scan (which isn't for just under 3 weeks)? If baby was high risk for downs we would still continue the pregnancy however I understand they look for other defects too...

Not too sure what to do here but my gut is telling me to spill as it would reduce my anxiety hugely.

Honest opinions?

OP posts:
DragonMummy1418 · 15/04/2018 19:32

I had to tell work as soon as I found out for safety reasons.
We also told most people at around 6 weeks.

It's really up to you.
Our philosophy is that what will happen will happen weather people know or not.

And tbh with how sick I've been there was no hiding it from DS and he's been telling EVERYONE! 😂

Original poster
PolkaDotBlues · 15/04/2018 19:35

@DragonMummy1418 I bet DS is excited! Congratulations Thanks

Can't wait to tell SD Smile

OP posts:
DragonMummy1418 · 15/04/2018 19:53

Thanks @PolkaDotBlues !
Congratulations to you too! Thanks

Oh yes he comes to me in the morning and hugs and kisses my stomach every day and tells me he loves the baby! 😍
I wonder how that will change when the baby is actually here and crying all night 🙈 😂

himynameiss · 15/04/2018 19:59

You share that news honey 😘

Original poster
PolkaDotBlues · 15/04/2018 20:10

That's is just so adorable @DragonMummy1418 😍😍😍

@himynameiss still undecided 🙈 anxiety = indecisiveness!

OP posts:
Crowd · 15/04/2018 20:15

Congrats to you OP but tbh on hearing re a pregnancy announcement I just go "ok, nice" and am really not invested bar that.

Blaablaablaa · 15/04/2018 20:17

Tell people when you are ready. I told work at 5 wks because I was so poorly and couldn't hide it. Figured if something awful did happen they would be supportive and sympathetic

Original poster
PolkaDotBlues · 15/04/2018 20:17

@Crowd thanks. I'm a bit confused at your point though? Confused

OP posts:
Original poster
PolkaDotBlues · 15/04/2018 20:18

@Blaablaablaa I've been off work for a while with bleeding and am also vomiting daily so I feel your pain! I think I'm going to tell my colleagues tomorrow (unless someone convinces me not to!)

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Crowd · 15/04/2018 20:20

My point @polkadotblues is that while your pregnancy news is lovely, it's not on everyone's list of priorities to think about from day to day.

Crowd · 15/04/2018 20:24

Anyway I don't want to be horrible, sorry but some workmate's pregnancy is really of no thought to me bar saying "nice" at the start.

I have comforted work mates who have had miscarriages too.

Wishing you a happy and healthy pregnancy!

Original poster
PolkaDotBlues · 15/04/2018 20:27

@Crowd I know that, but I asked for opinions on telling people at 11 weeks, not whether people would care or not. Writing on someone's post insinuating that people are unlikely to be bothered about their pregnancy when it's completely irrelevant to the initial question is slightly unnecessary... I'm well aware that people aren't going to be beside themselves with excitement.

Thanks anyway however. Here's to hoping!

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pandarific · 15/04/2018 20:33

No right or wrong really IMO.

I've told mostly everyone inc work and at 11 weeks have not had scan yet. Work will need to know if it does go wrong anyway as I'll need time off, and friends and family of course would be sad for us I'm sure but I couldn't see that as reason not to tell anyone, personally.

rb6ac · 15/04/2018 20:33

I had hyperemises so was in and out of hospital, and couldn't face the tube in rush hour so i was often late for work AND I'd just been offered a role in a different department at work - so I told my colleagues much earlier than I wanted to (at 9 weeks) so that it explained my behaviour!!

Congratulations! It's such an exciting thing to share x

Blaablaablaa · 15/04/2018 20:35

@polka that was me. I was signed off because of bleeding then the horrendous sickness kicked in.
In hindsight telling them was the best thing as it meant there was a valid reason for not performing to my usual high standards and people were far more supportive.

I ended up off for over a month with sickness and my colleagues were so kind and supportive.

I knew if I did have a miscarriage they would have been a great source of support.

Original poster
PolkaDotBlues · 15/04/2018 20:35

Thanks both 

@rb6ac it is exciting, but nerve wracking too! My manager already knows but the rest of my office doesn't. They're all going to ask why I've been off for 3 weeks and I'm the worst liar so will struggle greatly to come up with a good excuse!

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Original poster
PolkaDotBlues · 15/04/2018 20:37

@Blaablaablaa thanks again for your post. I think you're right. They're adults. I work with some very intelligent people and I can't imagine them ever thinking negatively of me because of a miscarriage!

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himynameiss · 15/04/2018 20:40

@PolkaDotBlues ahh honey. I didn’t announce on social media until 12 weeks & I had a scan picture. But I told close friends and family before hand. I know how anxious your feeling. 😘 xx

Aggiemacc · 15/04/2018 20:40

First of all congratulations @PolkaDotBlues !
I had to tell at work around 8 weeks for my own safety. And I'm getting lots of support from everyone. Also have been telling people who care about me. I have been having really bad symptoms and I needed help to go through the day. If anything goes wrong I will worry then. 12 week scan week on Tuesday :)

Original poster
PolkaDotBlues · 15/04/2018 20:42

Thank you @Aggiemacc and best of luck with your scan! I'm very nearly 11 weeks and don't even have a date for mine yet Confused

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Blaablaablaa · 15/04/2018 20:50

@polka nobody would think negatively of you. In fact, people would be supportive and helpful.

Good luck x

Situp · 15/04/2018 20:53

My rule of thumb was to tell people who I would want to know if I suffered a miscarriage. For me, my work colleagues and close family are people whose support I would need if the worst happened.

I told people and we didn't discuss it unless it was relevant until I was a bit further along.

Do what you need to get the support you want x

Original poster
PolkaDotBlues · 15/04/2018 20:58

@Situp thank you. Im starting to steer towards telling people....

OP posts:
seven201 · 15/04/2018 21:19

I think if you've had a good scan already and you want to tell them then go for it.

For complicated work reasons I told my line manager at 5 weeks and she told hers who probably told a whole load of others. Sadly I had an early miscarriage and had to untell her the next week. I'd have much rather she didn't know. We told close family and I didn't mind untelling them, but my private life isn't really the business of my boss. When/if I become pregnant again I think I'd wait until I'd seen a heartbeat on a scan.

Original poster
PolkaDotBlues · 15/04/2018 21:21

@seven201 absolutely, and I wouldn't even dream of telling anyone if I hadn't seen the heartbeat and if I hadn't have needed time off for sickness.

So sorry you went through that. I miscarried numerous times around 6 weeks so understand how painful it is Thanks

OP posts:
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