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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think that the bride's been cheeky here!

488 replies

whywhywhywhywhyyy · 15/04/2018 15:51

Alright, so there's a girl I met at uni who's now getting married. We're not close at all, but she's been very kind and invited me to her wedding. Evening only.

As the wedding is hours away, there's only one hotel close by with ridiculous rates, and I'd only be invited from 8:30pm anyway, I'm planning on not going. I went to go and click the 'sorry, can't make it' option on her RSPV website when I saw the ride share list on there.

I've been put down to drive (what appears to be) one of her elderly relatives from my hometown. Never offered this, have never met the elderly relative in question, haven't really spoken to the bride about the wedding at all Messaged another friend who's been invited to evening early and is down on the list to rideshare with someone elderly, same thing with her!

I've never declined an invitation so fast. Not sure if I've been invited as a friend or because I've got a car and happen to be from the same place as her relative!

OP posts:

ManchesterGin · 15/04/2018 16:25

AMAZING. Can’t wait to hear the fallout!

Shizzlestix · 15/04/2018 16:27

So outrageous!!

OpheliaStorm · 15/04/2018 16:29

@Aprilmightbemynewname

You could have said, "NO sorry, but I could fit the coffin in if I take out the seats.

TheDailyMailLovesTheEUReally · 15/04/2018 16:33

You've gotta love a cheeky bride on a budget!

junebirthdaygirl · 15/04/2018 16:33

Even if l was going l would hate to bring anyone. We see it as a day out for ourselves so bringing a stranger along would ruin the whole thing.
And l don't think elderly like to be invited to evening do as usually only a bit of a knees up.

BerriesandLeaves · 15/04/2018 16:34

Ha ha. Just say you can't go and leave her to sort out the rellie.

The name is a very old lady name. I'm assuming it's not a toddler who's got a revival of the name
Maybe it's an unknown toddler whose parents are jetting off on holiday that weekend and they'd like you to babysit the toddler for the weekend, including at the wedding.

PlasticWatch · 15/04/2018 16:34

Can't wait to hear her response for not asking you and your mate

BananasAreTheSourceOfEvil · 15/04/2018 16:35

OP maybe you could play with her for a bit.

Accept the invite and say you hope that she will be coming to your unofficial wedding this Autumn (unofficial as DH-to-be already has three other wives). Youve embraced polygamy and have bought a VW Transporter for all your new step-children so can happily stuff a few extra relatives on the way up to her nuptials if it helps.

throwcushions · 15/04/2018 16:35

Brilliant. Even better if Aunt Enid is invited to the whole day.

Ellie56 · 15/04/2018 16:37

Aunt Enid might be quite pleased to get out of going to CF niece's wedding.

notapizzaeater · 15/04/2018 16:47

Wow, surely normal,folk would check it's ok before they put you down for car sharing ? How's the little old Dear getting home?

Tistheseason17 · 15/04/2018 16:49

Soooo cheeky - but also really funny! Good for you for declining, OP!

StealthPolarBear · 15/04/2018 16:54

Often our car is so fill of extras there's no room for people!
Or tell her you'll be bringing your lady servant.

Appuskidu · 15/04/2018 16:58

I can’t imagine Great Aunt Elsie being impressed at being given an ‘evening only’ invite!

CannaeBeErsed · 15/04/2018 17:03

You: I'd love to come. Though I see I have been put down to drive great aunt Enid? I'm sorry but someone is driving me there and picking me up.

CFB: Well your friend can take Aunt Enid too?

You: Oh no! (Tinkly laugh) it would be extremely rude to expect someone to drive a complete stranger around, especially without asking first! (Pointed stare)

IbizaLovesSundays · 15/04/2018 17:05

My church and venue were a 3 min drive away and I had told the few that were coming car less just to get dropped off at the church and arrange their own way home and there would be people to take them to the reception. Didn't plan anything in advance, at the end of the service the minister stood up and said that anyone needing a ride to the venue should stand by the big tree outside and someone with a space or two would take them. We had no problems and my friends and family were more than happy to take passengers-we are a friendly bunch!

EverythingsDozy · 15/04/2018 17:07

Is elderly relative in question invited to the whole day or just the evening as you are? Are you expected to drive ER to the wedding in the morning and wait around??

CannaeBeErsed · 15/04/2018 17:10

My venue was a 10 minute walk max from the Church and I simply sent my mother back out to go pick up anyone walking through the village dressed up for a wedding. Any aunts and uncles who were driving heard and popped back out too. Most people had been picked up on the way by other drivers anyway. No one was expected to do it (except mother who had done fuck all for the wedding except hinder it with demands) but they were happy to.

ShinyShooney · 15/04/2018 17:13

Click?!
As in an e-vite for a wedding?!

eddielizzard · 15/04/2018 17:15

ugh glad you declined.

Spangles1963 · 15/04/2018 17:16

Good grief! She offered your services to drive someone to her wedding BEFORE you'd even said whether or not you were going?! She is grade A CF!

Lizzie48 · 15/04/2018 17:20

That is extremely cheeky, and she's only invited you for the evening do. Assuming this elderly relative has been invited for the whole day, is the bride expecting you to take her to the wedding ceremony and then kill time until the evening reception?

It does appear as if you've been invited only to be this relative's chauffeur.

Leeds2 · 15/04/2018 17:22

Can you see whether the elderly aunt has accepted the invitation?

Sparklesocks · 15/04/2018 17:25

Blimey that is presumptuous!! Always amazing when people think their friends and family care half as much about their wedding as they do...

Well done for getting out early!!

LakieLady · 15/04/2018 17:27

*You: I'd love to come. Though I see I have been put down to drive great aunt Enid? I'm sorry but someone is driving me there and picking me up.

CFB: Well your friend can take Aunt Enid too?

You: Oh no! (Tinkly laugh) it would be extremely rude to expect someone to drive a complete stranger around, especially without asking first! (Pointed stare)*

Or: Ohhh goodness, no, his Ferrari is only a 2-seater/well, if she doesn't mind going in the back of his van/ok, but please make sure she knows the horsebox is very mucky/we'll be flying in from Biarritz, so it's a bit out of our way

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