Aibu to think if you want the legal protection of marriage then get married

[Sofabitch]

I was listening to the radio this morning and they were talking about how widows allowance isn't paid to couples that weren't married, even if children are involved.

Aibu to think marriage is essentially the legal joining of people and if you want to be recognised legally and finacially then you should get married.

I guess the supreme court will ultimately decide if I am being unreasonable. But i can't help but think people dont realise the legal security marriage offers and they should.

Why cant you just go to a registry office and sign a contract between 2 people to give each other rights

Surely that’s basically what happens already?

I do think it might be a good idea though if the Government brought in civil partnerships for straight couples with the same legal effect as marriage. There are often posts here where people want to be married but can't afford a big day and have family expectations that don't allow them to elope easily.

What's to stop anyone going to a registry office and getting married there?

Yanbu. It really needs hammering home. Women invariably end up shit creek without so much as a paddle time and time again.

I can't see the difference between a simple register office ceremony in the UK and the French system described above. No mention of God, no requirement for anyone to give anyone else away, just a simple ceremony where the couple make a legal commitment to each other before witnesses and a representative of the state (the registrar).

I don't think anyone's mentioned yet that in the UK an unmarried partner may very well be treated as next of kin if the other partner is seriously ill, but this would not automatically be the case if this happened abroad. That strikes me as protection worth having. I'd also want to be absolutely certain that I was the one making the funeral arrangements. I've read heartbreaking accounts here of a dead partner's family muscling in and taking over, because the unmarried partner had no legal standing.

What if you have a joint mortgage with your partner and one of you dies? Would different rules apply to the mortgage if you were married?

Down side of that is people get married in haste and repent at leisure hence the high divorce rate.

Compared to the shack-up break up rate? For which of course there are no figures

Of course, if marriage is so outdated - why were same sex couples breaking their necks to have this equality? Please don't pretend to tell me it was just so they could have something mixed sex couple had. It was because of the legal protection marriage offers. Rightly so. So mixed sex cohabitees if you want legal protection, pop down the registry office and get it.

Common law wife.no such thing.however there is an erroneous belief it exists
Marriage isn’t a piece of paper it’s a binding legal agreement with significant financial rights
I’d advise any cohabitating women to fully understand her rights,in particular regard finances,accommodation,nok etc

Practical steps cohabitating couples can take
Make will
Notify GP in writing that you are each other NOK
See a solicitor about being tenants in common

Why cant you just go to a registry office and sign a contract between 2 people to give each other rights

Because it's not just 2 people; you need witnesses. That's one of my sticking points.

I've recently filled in a form (online car insurance) and there was the inevitable 'Marital status' question. Among the usual single, divorced, widowed is 'cohabiting with partner' or similar wording.

Now I'm always torn, as to me my legal marital status is widowed..I just happen to live with someone I am not married too. I think forms like this add gravitas to the state of living with someone and basically implies it's a legal state

Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g Obviously for you a simple marriage ceremony with witnesses would be adequate. But can you not understand that some people have a problem with the concept of a 'marriage'. Should they not be allowed to make a contractual commitment to each other?

What if you have a joint mortgage with your partner and one of you dies? Would different rules apply to the mortgage if you were married?

The mortgage is a legal contract with you and the bank. It is not a property contract. The ownership of the property isn't as simple as the surviving partner inheriting if they aren't married.

you need witnesses

The majority of contracts need witnesses - eg your will needs two witnesses.

Marriage isn't the only legal contract that has to be witnessed. Do you object to the fact that a person making a will has to have their signature witnessed by two non-beneficiaries?

'just grab a couple of witnesses' Well, it isn't that easy. We wouldn't want anyone to know, so we'd have to find two people happy to do it and willing to keep schtum about it. I don't think asking people never to let something like that slip is very fair. Most registry offices will have volunteer witnesses on call. So it needn't be anyone you know.

Why cant you just go to a registry office and sign a contract between 2 people to give each other rights

You can. I believe it’s called ‘getting married’.

Notify GP in writing that you are each other NOK

Another misconception I'm afraid. Wishes and legal NOK are two very different things.

A marriage is a contractual commitment! What else is it? The amount you spend (or not) on the wedding is completely irrelevant.

New Year -thanks.

I always thought that if the surviving partner could still pay the mortgage, they would still be able to remain in their home - would this not apply if not married?

The actual solution is to separate the contract from the marriage. Everyone then signs a partnership contract and the 'marriage' becomes an optional ceremony people decide about for themselves.

WalkingDead so start campaigning for what you want. Lobby the government.

But in the meantime, recognise that what you want does not exist in this country and that if you want to give yourself the legal protection of marriage, you need to get married.

Why cant you just go to a registry office and sign a contract between 2 people to give each other rights That is literally what marriage is.

Down side of that is people get married in haste and repent at leisure hence the high divorce rate.

I think the people who are financially protected by marriage would repent not getting married and splitting rather more.

YANBU. Haven't read full thread but agree with early posters that people need more education about what rights they have within and without marriage. You will probably be eaten alive though on MN for saying that you have to actually get married to have the legal benefits of marriage. There are usually people turning up to explain how you can pay lots of money in legal fees to get all the benefits of marriage without actually marrying.

DH and I just agreed I wasn't his property and got married 😁

...and the 'marriage' becomes an optional ceremony people decide about for themselves.

The ceremony already is optional is it not? I don’t think the ceremony makes any difference legally speaking?

For those that want the protection without marriage- If it's not likely to change in your projected lifetime then, if I'm understanding it right, you'd rather stay unprotected and potentially pay inheritance tax etc on principle?

Forgive me but that seems...well...daft